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The number one rule!

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             GOPHER BITS - Friday, May 26, 2006
 Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters 
for NEWS, FACTS, TRIVIA, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT! To browse our 
    entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com
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Comment The Post Below...


Greetings, 

My wife's brother is coming into town from Texas with his 
wife and their two kids. And guess who gets to be the 
Holiday Inn? Ah, I don't mind really. They're good people 
and they understand the number one rule about being a house 
guest, never over-stay your welcome! They will be arriving 
tonight and they plan on leaving Monday afternoon-evening. 
Two whole days and two half days is plenty of time to visit 
and have fun without getting on each other's nerves. 

Too bad I can't put the wife on some kind of similar 
schedule. Just kidding, Honey! 

Campbell
campbell@gophercentral.com

P.S. If you're interested we now have a blog. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Blog

==============================================

     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 
     ?                                                ?
     ? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
     ?                                                ?
     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 


TEASE: 

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass 
of water. The bartender reaches under the bar and brings 
out a gun and aims it at the man. The man says thank you 
and leaves. What happened?


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I 
do it's usually something unusual."


              *** Answers at the bottom! *** 

**  For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a  **
                    F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!

The Daily Tease
 
Subscribe to The Daily Tease

Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia

Subscribe to Film Quotes 


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******************** CELEBRITY NOOZ ********************

Tree House...

Joan Baez and Julia "Butterfly" Hill have set up residence 
in a tree. Joan and Hill, a tree sitter who once lived in 
a redwood for more two years to prevent loggers from cut-
ting it down, are occupying a tree in Los Angeles to raise 
awareness about a 14-acre farm threatened with demolition. 
No word on how long they will stay up there.


Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz


************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK *************** 

------ Police Use the Force Against 'Luke Skywalker' -------

ORLANDO, Fla. - A high school gym teacher is out of a job 
now after creating an outlandish scene outside of a bar over 
the weekend. David McCann stood in front of the bar, shirt 
unbuttoned, yelling to passers-by that he was Luke Skywalker. 
Officers tried to handcuff and restrain him, but McCann 
wildly swung his fists and repeatedly attacked them even 
after they struck him with a baton. "He continued to attack 
with super human strength and made no attempt to escape," 
according to a police report. Two responding officers had 
to strike McCann three times with a Taser and hit him a few 
more times with the baton before he was finally subdued. 
McCann was arrested and relieved of his duties at the 
Orange County School District.


Subscribe to Bizarre News


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******************** WEEKLY JOKES ********************* 

LAFF A DAY: 

When my wife came home Sunday afternoon to find the kitchen 
and living room a mess, the laundry still in a pile by the 
washer and me on the couch having done nothing but drink beer 
and watch football all day, she yelled, "Watch yourself, 
mister, or you're going to make me do something I don't want 
to do." 

"Wow," I thought, "I can't believe I'm going to get a blowjob 
out of this."


      (WARNING! Contains adult humor and language) 


Subscribe to Laff A Day


CLEAN LAFFS: 

Weary of constantly picking clothes up from the floor of her 
son's room, a mother finally laid down the law: each item of 
clothing she had to pick up would cost her son 25 cents. 

By the end of the week, he owed her $1.50. She received the 
money promptly, along with a 50 cent tip and a note that read, 
"Thanks, Mom; keep up the good work."

 
Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS 


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------------------------------------------------------------


****************** WEEKL VIDEO CLIP *******************

Super Troopers - Meow

Super Troopers is a 'Animal House' style movie about a squad 
of state highway troopers. One State Highway police officer 
bets another trooper that he can't say 'MEOW' ten times while 
handing out a ticket. 

View it at: Super Troopers - Meow



    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    ?                                                  ?
    ? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
    ?                                                  ?
    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????



TEASE: 

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass 
of water. The bartender reaches under the bar and brings 
out a gun and aims it at the man. The man says thank you 
and leaves. What happened?

TEASE ANSWER: 

The man had the hiccups and wanted a glass of water to help 
get rid of them. The bartender could hear the hiccups when 
the man spoke, so he brought the gun out to scare the hiccups 
away. It worked and the man thanked him and left, no longer 
needing the glass of water.


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I 
do it's usually something unusual."

MOVIE QUOTE ANSWER: Bill Murray as John Winger in Stripes.


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           GopherCentral's Question of the Week 

Should the Mexican government pay healthcare costs for the 
11 million illegal immigrants from Mexico?

 Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
------------------------------------------------------------

All the Gopher Bits issues in one place: Gopher Bits Archives
More Free Fun & Amusement by email: www.gophercentral.com

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