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What are you doing for Groundhog Day?

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           GOPHER BITS - Friday, February 2, 2007
 Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters 
for NEWS, FACTS, TRIVIA, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT! To browse our 
    entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com
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Greetings, 

I can't hang out all afternoon today, folks, I have to get 
home and get ready for the big Groundhog Day party tonight. 
Actually, I have to get home and watch the kids so the wife 
can go shopping. Nobody has Groundhog Day parties. 

Campbell

campbell@gophercentral.com


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     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 
     ?                                                ?
     ? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
     ?                                                ?
     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 


TEASE: 

One day a guy walked into a doctors office and said   
"I don't know what's wrong with me, doc. When I touch   
here it hurts," as he touches his right leg. "Here hurts,   
too," as he touches his left leg. "These places also hurt,"   
as he touches his forehead and one of his arms. After the   
guy finishes talking, the doctor knew what was wrong   
with the guy. What was the problem?


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"I don't care about the money. I'm pulling back the curtain. 
I want to meet the wizard." 


              *** Answers at the bottom! *** 

**  For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a  **
                    F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!

The Daily Tease
 
Subscribe to The Daily Tease

Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia

Subscribe to Film Quotes 


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********************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *********************

Kevin Federline Turns Down $25 Million Divorce Settlement?

Britney Spears' estranged husband Kevin Federline has turned 
down a $25 million divorce settlement offered by the pop 
star, according to media reports in the US. 

Kevin was reportedly looking for a $50 million settlement. 

A source said, "Kevin says that Britney offered him $10 
million to walk away from their marriage and to relinquish 
custody of their kids, but he just laughed. 

"Then she came back with $20 million, which he turned down, 
too. Now he says she's offering a whopping $25 million and 
that's her final offer. He told her to take a hike!" Part 
of the settlement offered by Britney reportedly includes a 
condition that would have Kevin severing his ties with his 
young sons. 

The sources adds, "He loves his two little boys, and there's 
no way he's going to disappear from their lives." 

On another note. Have you seen Kevin's controversial (and 
very funny) commercial that will be airing during the Super 
Bowl? We have it! 
Watch It Now: http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=6487


Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz


*************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK **************** 

-------- Bank Robber Foiled Twice in Three Days ----------   

NEW YORK - New York police say a bumbling bandit attempted   
to rob the same bank twice in the three-day period and   
ended up sprayed with dye on both occasions. Police allege   
that Clenzo Thompson, who had been arrested three years   
earlier after he dropped his state ID at the site of a bank   
robbery, was given a stack of bills containing $2,340 and   
a dye pack by a teller at Commerce Bank's Park Slope   
branch, the New York Post reported Monday. Despite the   
explosion of the dye pack, Thompson allegedly returned to   
the bank two days later and retrieved $1,740 and another   
dye pack from a different teller. This one exploded inside   
a taxi cab, causing the driver to flee. The vehicle was   
abandoned a few blocks away. Police said they located the   
alleged thief at a friend's house in Boonton, N.J., after   
recovering fingerprints from the bank.


Subscribe to Bizarre News


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********************* WEEKLY JOKES ********************** 

LAFF A DAY: 

Driving my friend Steve and his girlfriend to the airport, 
I passed a billboard showing a bikini-clad beauty holding 
a can of beer. 

Steve's girlfriend glanced up at it and announced, "I suppose 
if I drank a six-pack of that brand, I'd look like her." 

"No," Steve corrected, "If I drank a six-pack, you'd look 
like her."


      (WARNING! Contains adult humor and language) 


Subscribe to Laff A Day


CLEAN LAFFS: 

Joe's wife likes to sing so she decided to join the church   
choir. From time to time she would practice while she was   
in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start   
in on a song, Joe would head outside to the porch.   

His wife, with hurt feelings, said, "What's the matter,   
Joe? Don't you like my singing?"   

Joe replied, "Honey, I love your singing, but I just want   
to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you."

 
Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS 


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------------------------------------------------------------


******************** WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP *********************

         Chicago Bears - Monsters of the Midway

The 2006 Bears are headed to the SUPER BOWL. In this high-
light reel, check out the Monsters of the Midway as they get 
the job done in 2006-2007 season. 

View it at: Monsters of the Midway


More great videos for every interest at: www.evtv1.com


    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    ?                                                  ?
    ? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
    ?                                                  ?
    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????



TEASE: 

One day a guy walked into a doctors office and said   
"I don't know what's wrong with me, doc. When I touch   
here it hurts," as he touches his right leg. "Here hurts,   
too," as he touches his left leg. "These places also hurt,"   
as he touches his forehead and one of his arms. After the   
guy finishes talking, the doctor knew what was wrong   
with the guy. What was the problem?

TEASE ANSWER: He had a broken finger.


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"I don't care about the money. I'm pulling back the curtain. 
I want to meet the wizard." 

MOVIE QUOTE ANSWER: 

- Michael Douglas as Nicholas Van Orton in "The Game"


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           GopherCentral's Question of the Week 

Will you vote for a presidential candidate from a particular 
party no matter who represents that party?

 Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
------------------------------------------------------------

To see more issues like this visit: Gopher Bits Archives
Free Fun and Amusement sent by email: www.gophercentral.com

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