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             GOPHER BITS - Friday, June 9, 2006
 Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters 
    entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com

Comment The Post Below...


It's getting just about time to dig out the old golf clubs 
from the garage, or the basement, or wherever the heck I 
stuck them nine months ago. I am not what you would call 
a golf addict, but when I get out there I do enjoy the 
challenge and the exercise. It's a lot of work climbing 
in and out of that cart. It looks like we're going to get 
a bit of rain this weekend, but I just might be able to 
sneak nine holes in somewhere. If I don't take out any 
windshields or knock anybody unconscious it'll be a good 
start to the summer. 


P.S. If you're interested we now have a blog. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Blog


     ?                                                ?
     ? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
     ?                                                ?


What do these animals all have in common? 

Ant Eater 


"Hey Peter, man, check out channel 9, it's the breast exams!"

              *** Answers at the bottom! *** 

**  For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a  **
                    F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!

The Daily Tease
Subscribe to The Daily Tease

Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia

Subscribe to Film Quotes 

         Get Your Groove On and Have Some Fun
  Learn To Dance - Party Dancing DVD Now Only $14.99

You've always wanted to know how to Dance, now here is your
opportunity to learn. Start out with the two most popular 
line dances that get everyone on the dance floor: The 
Electric Slide and the Macarena. Also included in this easy
to follow instructional video are a Foxtrot, a Jitterbug, a 
Waltz, and even the Cha Cha. Order your Video for $14.99: 

Party Dancing DVD

******************** CELEBRITY NOOZ ********************

Jack Black Challenges Steven Seagal to Ring Rumble...

Word is Jack Black is so impressed with his wrestling prowess 
after training for new movie 'Nacho Libre' he's ready to try 
out his fighting skills on martial arts action man Steven 
Seagal. Jack trained with a real-life Mexican wrestler for 
his new film and how he thinks he can beat Steven Seagal. He 
was quoted in Sports Illustrated, "I should take down someone 
who is strong, so Steven Seagal (would be perfect) - with his 
ridiculous Indian gear, ponytail and swagger. He's the best 
fighter in the world in his own mind, so I'll take him down 
two notches with my Anaconda Squeeze and Face Melter."

Yeah... we think he was joking too, but it sure is a pretty 
good story.

Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz

************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK *************** 

-------- And You Thought You Had A Bad Day At Work ---------

BELOGORSK, Russia - Russian police say a boss allegedly 
chained an employee naked to a tree in the forest for doing 
his work poorly. Last month, a 39-year-old man was found 
beaten and chained with handcuffs to a tree near Belogorsk 
in Russia's Far East, MosNews reported. There were conflict-
ing reports to how long he had been there. Interfax said the 
man spent almost 24-hours in the forest before he was found 
by railway workers, while Regnum news agency reports he spent 
several hours at the tree. The man told the police he had 
been punished by his boss for refusing to engage in illegal 
actions. Police, however, say the boss had been angered by 
the man's poor work. The boss faces up to two years in prison 
for the attack, MosNews said.

Subscribe to Bizarre News

        Soap: The Complete First Season on DVD
Relive a Tale of Two Sisters, Mary Campbell and Jessica Tate

Airing from 1977 to 1981, SOAP parodies the conventions of 
the soap opera in its story of 2 families, the Tates and the 
Campbells, and all their adventures and disagreements--which 
include everything from infidelity to insanity to alien 
abduction. This 3 DVD set is now available for $29.99. Visit: 

Soap: Season One DVD

******************* WEEKLY JOKES ******************** 


At a news conference, a journalist said to the politician 
running for mayor, "Your former secretary said publicly that 
you have a small penis... Would you please comment on this?" 

"The truth really is," replied the politician, "That she has 
a big mouth."

      (WARNING! Contains adult humor and language) 

Subscribe to Laff A Day


The district judge in our county is a no-nonsense woman who   
has never left any doubt as to her professionalism. What those   
of us who work in the court didn't know was whether she had   
a sense of humor. The matter was put to rest the morning an   
older woman was testifying before the judge. Several times   
during the proceedings the woman addressed the judge as   
"Honey." Finally the judge looked the woman in the eye and   
said, "That's Judge Honey."

Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS 

Do You Know Someone Who Has Taken SEROQUEL?

Another drug company is coming under fire. And if you or
a loved one has used SEROQUEL you may be entitled to

Studies have shown that Seroquel users are at a higher risk 
of contracting diabetes, pancreatitis, hyperglycemia and 
other ailments.

Don't delay, fill out this short, no cost and no obligation 
form. Experienced lawyers are waiting to talk to you about 
your injuries to find out if you are entitled to compensation.

Find out about your compensation

****************** WEEKL VIDEO CLIP *******************

A Few Good Men - You Can't Handle the Truth

Jack Nicholson has given us some memorable performances in 
his acting career but none are more recognizable than the 
courtroom scene in the military drama, 'A Few Good Men.' 

View it at: You Can't Handle the Truth

    ?                                                  ?
    ? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
    ?                                                  ?


What do these animals all have in common? 

Ant Eater 

TEASE ANSWER: They all have unusually long body parts.


"Hey Peter, man, check out channel 9, it's the breast exams!" 


Diedrich Bader as Lawrence in "Office Space"

           GopherCentral's Question of the Week 

Do you support a constitutional amendment in banning gay 

 Please share your opinion, visit:  The Question of the Week

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