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            GOPHER BITS - Friday, August 4, 2006
 Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters 
for NEWS, FACTS, TRIVIA, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT! To browse our 
    entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com
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Comment The Post Below...


Greetings, 

It was nice having a little extra money to set aside every 
month for savings. A hundred here, a hundred there. It adds 
up! But those days are gone. Or, at least, they soon will 
be. 

You see, my wife's sister just got a job as a cashier on one 
of the casino boats that dot the outskirts of the Chicago- 
metropolitan area. My wife, who is an infrequent, but en-
thusiastic gambler when she has a chance, now has a reason 
to make weekly outings to 'see' her sister at the boat. And, 
well, you can't go to a casino without fifty bucks to donate 
to the slot machines...according to my wife. 

I need to come up with a plan to keep her from nickle and 
dime-ing us out of the kids' college funds. 

Campbell

campbell@gophercentral.com

P.S. If you're interested we now have a blog. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Blog

==============================================

     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 
     ?                                                ?
     ? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
     ?                                                ?
     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 


TEASE: 

In the following code, each symbol stands for one of five   
letters.   

) stands for T, E, S, A, or L   
< stands for F, E, C, R, or P   
> stands for E, R, L, K, or S   
[ stands for F, S, E, D, or R   
] stands for W, M, J, U, or Y   
( stands for N, A, H, O, or B   

The six letter code word, <([])>, can be translated into   
two English words that are opposites. What are the two words?


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"If I could have any job in the world I'd be a professional 
Cinderella."


              *** Answers at the bottom! *** 

**  For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a  **
                    F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!

The Daily Tease
 
Subscribe to The Daily Tease

Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia

Subscribe to Film Quotes 


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******************** CELEBRITY NOOZ ********************

Jennifer & Vince Split: "Need A Breather"   

The hot rumor around is Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have   
reportedly split. And even more intriguing is who dumped who   
and why...   

NW Magazine says Jennifer dumped Vince, but the Bosh says he   
dumped her...per his mom's recommendation..,   

According to the Bosh, a source said:  "[Sharon] told him that   
if he married Jen, he'd be in for a world of heartbreak," and   
that they should take a break so Aniston "could find closure"   
over ex-husband Pitt.  Apparently he took her advice, and told   
Jen they should "take a breather."   

But a different pal says Jennifer ended the relationship because   
she felt Vince wasn't the marrying type. "She says he acted like   
a jerk, staying up all night with his friends, drinking and   
smoking."   

"It dawned on her that this isn't the kind of man she wants to   
marry" and that "the fact is, she dumped Vince."


Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz


************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK *************** 

-------- Woman dies after alleged home liposuction ---------   

FRAMINGHAM, Mass. - A Brazilian man was charged with 
practicing medicine without a license after a woman died 
during liposuction performed in a private home in 
Massachusetts. Luis Carlos Ribeiro and his wife also face 
drug charges, the Boston Herald reported. The victim, 
Fabiola de Paula, died at MetroWest Medical Center in 
Framingham after Ribeiro brought her to the hospital 
unconscious. Middlesex County Prosecutor Lee Hettinger 
told the newspaper that Ribeiro could face more charges 
after an autopsy. Ribeiro was being held on $250,000 bail 
while a judge set $50,000 bail on his wife. Another 
patient was hospitalized when she developed a serious 
infection following liposuction, the newspaper said. The 
Herald said Ribeiro told police that he is a licensed 
plastic surgeon in Brazil and that he and his wife had 
come to the United States on short work visas.


Subscribe to Bizarre News


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******************* WEEKLY JOKES ******************** 

LAFF A DAY: 

An Alabama redneck was sittin' on the sofa, with his half   
naked woman, watching the news from San Francisco. "Jus'   
look at them homo-sexshuals. They're ruining the country!   
Men marryin' men, and women marryin' women, it's disgustin.   
Darlin', we oughta' go out there and protest! Don't you   
think so?"   

She replied, "Yes, Daddy."


      (WARNING! Contains adult humor and language) 


Subscribe to Laff A Day


CLEAN LAFFS: 

An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a pro-   
minent medical school.   

"Tell me," inquired the interviewer, "where do you expect   
to be five years from now?"   

"Well, let's see," replied the student. "It's Wednesday   
afternoon.  I guess I'll be on the golf course by now."

 
Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS 


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****************** WEEKL VIDEO CLIP *******************

Eddie Murphy on Bill Cosby

In this hilarious clip from Eddie Murphy RAW, Eddie recalls 
the story of when funny man Bill Cosby phoned Eddie to tell 
him that he uses too much profanity in his comedy routine. 

View it at: Eddie Murphy on Bill Cosby



    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    ?                                                  ?
    ? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
    ?                                                  ?
    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????



TEASE: 

In the following code, each symbol stands for one of five   
letters.   

) stands for T, E, S, A, or L   
< stands for F, E, C, R, or P   
> stands for E, R, L, K, or S   
[ stands for F, S, E, D, or R   
] stands for W, M, J, U, or Y   
( stands for N, A, H, O, or B   

The six letter code word, <([])>, can be translated into   
two English words that are opposites. What are the two words?

TEASE ANSWER: Casual and Formal


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"If I could have any job in the world I'd be a professional 
Cinderella."   

MOVIE QUOTE ANSWER: 

Angelina Jolie as Lisa Rowe in "Girl, Interrupted"


------------------------------------------------------------
           GopherCentral's Question of the Week 

Do you think there should be an immediate cease fire in 
Lebanon?

 Please share your opinion, visit:  The Question of the Week
------------------------------------------------------------

To view more issues please visit: Gopher Bits Archives
More Free Fun & Amusement by email: www.gophercentral.com

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