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Publication: Gopher Bits
A final farewell.

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            GOPHER BITS - Friday, March 23, 2007
 Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters 
for NEWS, FACTS, TRIVIA, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT! To browse our 
    entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com
------------------------------------------------------------

Greetings, 

Well, folks, it was a good run, but all good things must come 
to an end. The bosses have decided to merge Gopher Bits with 
Gophercentral's most popular email publication, Bizarre News. 

It's not like you won't continue to get your newsletter. In 
fact, you probably won't notice too much difference, except 
that Bizarre News gets delivered three times a week versus 
only once a week for Gopher Bits, but as far as content is 
concerned, a lot of what goes into this publication comes 
from Bizarre News anyway! 

And you won't be hearing from me any more, you'll be hearing 
from the Bizarre News editor, Lewis. So look for your first 
issue of Bizarre News next Wednesday. If you don't want to 
receive Bizarre News you should scroll to the bottom of this 
issue and unsubscribe. That way your email address won't be 
merged with the Bizarre list. 

Okay, folks, I think that's about everything. Let me just 
say that I enjoyed writing this publication for the last 
three years and I appreciate everyone who wrote in and 
contributed. On behalf of myself, my wife Michele, my son 
Justin and my daughter Bella (that's right...if you're sub-
scribed to The Daily Tease you might recognize those names) 
thanks for everything!

Campbell

campbell@gophercentral.com


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TOP FIVE (5) VIEWED FOR THE WEEK: 

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2. Angelina Jolie

3. SNL Jeopardy - Stewart Reynolds & Connery

4. Cat Plays Piano

5. Childbirth - Final Stage of Labor


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********************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *********************

Keanu's Porsche Grazes Paparazzi...   

Keanu Reeves was caught up in an incident involving his 
Porsche and an injured photographer earlier this week, 
police in Los Angeles have said. 

Keanu grazed an unnamed photographer in the way of his 
sports car as he left a parking space near Los Verdes golf 
course south of downtown LA. 

"He grazed a paparazzi standing in front of his Porsche and 
the man fell to the ground," said deputy Ed Hernandez of 
the county's sheriff department. 

But Keanu's lawyer Jay Lavely said the incident, which oc-
curred on Monday, may have been "brought on more by the 
actions of the paparazzo" than by his 42-year-old client. 

Lavely added that the photographer, who was taken to 
hospital to be treated for his injuries, could have even 
tried to engineer the incident himself by blocking Reeves' 
exit. 

The sheriff's office meanwhile added that the actor was co- 
operating fully.


Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz


*************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK **************** 

----------------- Corpse On A Plane ----------------------   

LONDON - A passenger on a British Airways flight complain-   
ed after he awoke on the plane to find a corpse had been   
placed nearby his first-class seat. Paul Trinder said he   
awoke from sleeping on the nine-hour flight to find the   
corpse of an elderly woman who had died on the flight in   
a nearby seat accompanied by her grieving daughter crying   
loudly, The Times of London reported Monday. Trinder told   
the newspaper he found the experience "deeply disturbing"   
but the airline told him to "get over it" when he voiced   
his concerns. "It was a complete mess -- they seemed to   
have no proper plans in place to deal with the situation,"   
he said. "I didn't have a clue what was going on. The   
stewards just plonked the body down without saying a thing.   
I remember looking at this frail, sparrow-like woman and   
thinking she was very ill," Trinder told The Times. "When   
I asked what was going on I was shocked to hear she was   
dead." He said he was also concerned with the health issues   
involved. "When you have a decaying body on a plane at room   
temperature for more than five hours there are significant   
health and safety risks," he said.


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********************* WEEKLY JOKES ********************** 

LAFF A DAY: 

A golfer stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity.   
Looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the   
wind direction and speed--driving his partner nuts.   

Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long?   
Hit the blasted ball!"   

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the   
clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."   

"Forget it, man, you'll never hit her from here!"


      (WARNING! Contains adult humor and language) 


Subscribe to Laff A Day


CLEAN LAFFS: 

Just after Christmas I received a rather general thank-you   
note from my sister for the present I had sent her. However,   
her next letter in mid-March explained that upon receiving   
my gift, a well taped box of chocolates, she had immediately   
put it in the freezer because she had already gained about   
six pounds that Christmas and wanted to avoid temptation.   

One day in March, having lost the excess weight and craving   
a chocolate, she went to the freezer, mouth watering in   
anticipation, opened the box, and discovered the frozen black   
sequined evening purse I had given her.

 
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******************** WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP *********************

               Survivors of Yellowstone River 

The harsh environment of Yellowstone is a reality for the 
cutthroat trout. These fish travel through vicious waters 
to mate, or spawn, at the place of their birth. 

View it at: Survivors of Yellowstone River


More great videos for every interest at:  www.evtv1.com 


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Today's Deal of the Day


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------------------------------------------------------------
           GopherCentral's Question of the Week 

    Who do you think is the most hated man in the world?

 Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
------------------------------------------------------------

To see more issues like this visit: Gopher Bits Archives
More Free Fun and Amusement by email: www.gophercentral.com

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END OF GOPHER BITS - Another FREE Gopher Central publication 
Copyright 2007 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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