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Taking the time for a home-cooked meal.

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           GOPHER BITS - Friday, November 10, 2006
 Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters 
for NEWS, FACTS, TRIVIA, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT! To browse our 
    entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com
------------------------------------------------------------

Greetings, 

The wife has a girl's night out tonight, which means I am 
in charge of dinner. She left a coupon for the local pizza 
place attached to the fridge before she left for work this 
morning, at which I took a bit of offense. I was a bachelor 
on my own for years before we got married. I still know how 
to prepare a meal. So this afternoon I'm off to the grocery 
store to do a little shopping! 

No pizza for me and my kids. Tonight's menu will consist of 
all beef hot dogs with macaroni and cheese and Bush Brand 
baked beans. Parents these days need to take more time to 
prepare a home cooked meal.

Campbell
campbell@gophercentral.com

P.S. If you're interested we now have a forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Forum


=======================================================

     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 
     ?                                                ?
     ? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
     ?                                                ?
     ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? 


TEASE: 

I'm a ten-letter word, but when I am heard, 
I have only four, not one letter more. 

My first two sounds are neat; a kind of sheet, 
That starts with spread, not the kind on a bed. 

Of my sounds, the third is what will be heard, 
alphabetically, in the middle of modus operandi. 

If you want to hear more, then like the shore, 
I end at the sea, that's a hint, you see. 

What word am I? 


HINT: 
There are four letters that sound just like a word of ten 
letters. The word is a title of honour given to certain 
high officials.


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"Looking back, the lion was a bad idea. That's why Dr. 
Shockla is gonna hook us up with a monkey. I'm gonna teach 
it taekwondo."


              *** Answers at the bottom! *** 

**  For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a  **
                    F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!

The Daily Tease
 
Subscribe to The Daily Tease

Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia

Subscribe to Film Quotes 


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------------------------------------------------------------


********************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *********************

Jessica Simpson Hires Male Hooker... 

Jessica Simpson accidentally hired a male escort for a blind 
date. Jessica has been scouring internet dating sites to find 
a man ever since she split from singer John Mayer. 

However, she unknowingly arranged a meeting with a 'pro-
fessional hooker'. A friend of Jessica's told a magazine, 
"Jessica logged onto the internet to find male company. 

"She found a picture of a guy in Los Angeles she thought was 
ideal. "They arranged to meet, but when she turned up, she 
found out the sad truth - he was only interested in a 'pro-
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Jessica quickly realized her mistake and told her date in no 
certain terms to get lost. 

The source added: "Jessica was horrified and told him to go 
to hell. She wasn't that desperate." The unfortunate incident 
has now made Jessica think twice about her choice of suitors. 

The friend said: "She never imagined male hookers would be 
trying to cash in on the service. It's turned her off the 
web - and that was her main hobby."


Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz


*************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK **************** 

-------------- Suicide Attempt Causes Brawl --------------   

BERLIN - A young woman's rooftop suicide bid in Germany 
sparked a mass brawl between spectators encouraging the 
21-year-old to jump and a group of homeless people try-
ing to protect her, authorities said Tuesday. The home-
less people were angered when some teenagers in the crowd 
of hundreds started yelling to the woman she should throw 
herself from the roof of the town hall of the south-western 
town of Loerrach, said police spokesman. A punch-up in-
volving around 40 people then ensued, during which time 
police managed to coax the woman back indoors -- three and 
a half hours after her ordeal began. Some 35 officers, six 
of whom were injured during the fight, were needed to break 
it up. Eight participants were arrested.


Subscribe to Bizarre News


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********************* WEEKLY JOKES ********************** 

LAFF A DAY: 

Because he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly,   
widower father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to   
enjoy it with.   

Going to a singles' bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty   
took his breath away. "I'm just an ordinary man," he said   
walking up to her, "but in a little while, my father will die   
and I'll inherit 20 million dollars. I would like to have   
someone to share it with. Will you come home with me?"   

The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became   
his stepmother.


      (WARNING! Contains adult humor and language) 


Subscribe to Laff A Day


CLEAN LAFFS: 

A Bedouin wandering in the Sahara happened upon an American   
dressed in a bathing suit, flip-flops, a big, over-sized   
t-shirt and sunglasses.   

The Bedouin gazed at him in amazement, "What are you doing   
all the way out here dressed like that!?"   

"I'm going swimming," the tourist explained.   

"But the ocean is eight hundred miles away," the Arab   
informed him.   

"Eight hundred miles!" the American exclaimed with a whistle   
of appreciation. "Boy, what a beach!"

 
Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS 


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------------------------------------------------------------


******************** WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP *********************

           Funny Animals - Talk To The Animals

Humans love to act as though animals are their dearest 
friends. In this clip we see a less affectionate glimpse 
at animals, but still looking lovable while letting us 
know they are not willing to socialize at the moment!

View it at: Talk To The Animals


More great videos for every interest at: www.evtv1.com


    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    ?                                                  ?
    ? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
    ?                                                  ?
    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????



TEASE: 

I'm a ten-letter word, but when I am heard, 
I have only four, not one letter more. 

My first two sounds are neat; a kind of sheet, 
That starts with spread, not the kind on a bed. 

Of my sounds, the third is what will be heard, 
alphabetically, in the middle of modus operandi. 

If you want to hear more, then like the shore, 
I end at the sea, that's a hint, you see. 

What word am I? 

TEASE ANSWER: Excellency (XLNC)   

The four letters, XLNC, sound just like the ten-letter word   
excellency.   

The first two sounds (XL) are the name of a spreadsheet program.   

If you arrange the letters in modus operandi alphabetically   
(addeimNooprsu), the letter N is the middle letter. Also, modus   
operandi is usually written as an abbreviation, MO, which in the   
alphabet, would have an N in the middle.   

The final letter (C) sounds like sea. Do you see?


MOVIE QUOTE: 

"Looking back, the lion was a bad idea. That's why Dr. 
Shockla is gonna hook us up with a monkey. I'm gonna teach 
it taekwondo." 

MOVIE QUOTE ANSWER: Peter Dante as Dante in "Grandma's Boy"


------------------------------------------------------------
           GopherCentral's Question of the Week 

Are you happy that the Democrats are in control of the House?

 Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week
------------------------------------------------------------

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Free Fun and Amusement by email: www.gophercentral.com

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