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It\'s all in how you spin it.

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             GOPHER BITS - Friday, May 5, 2006
 Over 4,000,000 readers subscribe to our F-R-E-E newsletters 
    entire selection visit: http://www.gophercentral.com

Comment The Post Below...


Some of the boys are heading over to Murphy's this afternoon 
to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. And if anyone knows how to get 
into the spirit of a Mexican holiday it's an Irish pub. It 
would take a stronger man than me to turn his back on five 
dollar pitchers of watery margaritas and free year-old bar 
pretzels. All I have to do is figure out how to convince 
my wife that she's better off at home with the kids. I have 
about four hours to come up with an idea. Anybody have any 


P.S. If you're interested we now have a blog. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Gopher Bits Blog


     ?                                                ?
     ? Guess This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE ?
     ?                                                ?


Find a common 12 letter english word containing three P's, 
two R's, two A's, one O, one E, one D, one T, and one other 


"You know, you don't act like a scientist. You're more like 
a game show host."

              *** Answers at the bottom! *** 

**  For more Teasers and Movie Quotes, click below for a  **
                    F-R-E-E SUBSCRIPTION!

The Daily Tease
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Squirrely's Film Quotes and TV Trivia

Subscribe to Film Quotes 

             Alert: New Vioxx Cases Won

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******************* CELEBRITY NOOZ *******************

Sopranos Stars Arrested...

Two actors from 'The Sopranos' have been arrested on un-
related charges. John Ventimiglia, who plays chef Artie 
Bucco, was arrested on Monday on suspicion of drunk driving 
and possessing cocaine.

John was pulled over after the car he was driving swerved 
without its headlights on. The arresting officer said the 
actor smelled of alcohol and his speech was slurred.

Subsequent tests found a blood alcohol level of 0.12 per 
cent and Ventimiglia was allegedly carrying a small plastic 
bag containing the residue of a white powder believed to be 

John protested his innocence and has been released while a 
court date is set. His lawyer said in a statement: "John 
feels terrible and embarrassed. Until we gather all the 
information we will have no further comment." 

Meanwhile Louis Gross, who portrays bodyguard Perry 
Annunziata, was arrested on Sunday for allegedly breaking 
into a New York City property. 

Louis was released on Monday without bail. He told reporters, 
"I don't know nothing. I'm innocent. I'm always innocent."

Subscribe to Celebrity Nooz

************** BIZARRE STORY OF THE WEEK *************** 

-------- Massage Parlor Rubs Client The Wrong Way ----------

LONDON - About $7,000 worth of damage was done to the lobby 
of a massage parlor by a client who was unhappy. David 
Albert, 41, admitted he trashed the front entrance of the 
Mirage Exotic Massage because he thought money had been 
taken from his clothing. After Albert had received a massage 
on March 1, he went storming into the front lobby screaming 
and yelling. He destroyed a front desk, the phones, a heater, 
a lamppost and various other objects. "I didn't realize 
massage was supposed to have that effect," said Ontario 
Court Justice John Getliffe after hearing what happened. 
Albert's lawyer, George Grant, said his client thought $140 
had been stolen from him.

Subscribe to Bizarre News

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******************* WEEKLY JOKES ******************** 


A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her 
obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly said, "My 
husband wants me to ask you..."

The doctor cut her off and reassured her, "I know, I know, 
I get the same question all the time. Sex is fine until late 
in the pregnancy." 

"No, that's not it," the woman confessed. "He wants to know 
if I can still mow the lawn."

      (WARNING! Contains adult humor and language) 

Subscribe to Laff A Day


My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state 
trooper pulled us over as we were driving through Georgia. 
Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked 
when he walked up to the car. 

"I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the 

"What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires 

Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS 

How Smart Are You?

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Well, now you can find out. And the best part you can do
it online, now, for free. You'll get the results right away,
too. Have some fun and hopefully you will get to brag :)
VISIT: How Smart Are You

****************** WEEKL VIDEO CLIP *******************

My Name Is Earl - #86: Stolen Car

Jason Lee stars as Earl Hickey in the Fox comedy sitcom 
'My Name Is Earl'. Watch as Earl gets beat up from a double 
amputee because Earl stole his one-legged girlfriends car. 

View it at: My Name Is Earl

    ?                                                  ?
    ? This Week's BRAIN TEASER and MOVIE QUOTE Answers ?
    ?                                                  ?


Find a common 12 letter english word containing three P's, 
two R's, two A's, one O, one E, one D, one T, and one other 



"You know, you don't act like a scientist. You're more like 
a game show host."


Sigourney Weaver as Dana Barrett in "Ghostbusters"

           GopherCentral's Question of the Week 

    Do you support the "immigration protest of May 1st"?

 Please share your opinion, visit: The Question of the Week

To view recent issues please visit: Gopher Bits Archives
More Free Fun & Amusement by email: www.gophercentral.com


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