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Publication: Dear Abby
Parting Can Bring Sorrow To Those With Unruly Hair

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      DEAR ABBY - April 16, 2008 
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PARTING CAN BRING SORROW TO THOSE WITH UNRULY HAIR

ABBY: For most of my life, I have parted my hair on the 
right. I am now being told that men should part their hair 
on the left. Is there a correct side for men?
HARRY W., MORRO BAY, CALIF.

HARRY: I relayed your question to my hair design consultant, 
Bob Cox. According to Bob, people naturally have a cowlick 
(or "whorl") on one side of their scalp from which the hair 
growth pattern emerges. (Some people have two, although one 
is usually stronger than the other.) This is what determines 
which way the hair will naturally fall when it is parted.

Bob went on to relate the story of a client who had recently 
been referred to him. The gentleman had been going to his 
former barber for 15 years, and for 15 years his hair had 
never been easy to manage. Over the last couple of years, 
the problem had become so bad that his wife had to help him 
part his hair in the morning.

Bob took one look and realized the former barber had been 
parting the man's hair on the wrong side, which had been 
causing it to stick up. The problem was resolved with one 
appointment. If other men out there are having the same 
problem, this letter may be helpful.

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ABBY: I recently presented a research proposal. I did the 
best I could and was verbally attacked by my boss. She is 
often tactless and can at times be cruel.

I tried to defend my research, but perhaps I did it too 
emphatically and went overboard, because my team member 
turned off my microphone and apologized to the boss.

I understand some of the criticisms, but what bothered me 
was that other proposals were more flawed than ours, but
were not attacked in a similar fashion. One thing led to 
another, and I broke down in tears at the table. Luckily, 
the boss did not see it, but other team members did.

Is showing emotion in public wrong? I tried to hold it in 
but couldn't. I was insulted and felt terrible for my team. 
Was crying unprofessional? Should I have run to the powder 
room to sob -- or would that have made it worse?
TEARY-EYED IN MALAYSIA

TEARY-EYED: To show emotion in public is human, as long as 
one does not have a complete meltdown. You lost control 
twice, the first time when your team member felt it necessary 
to turn off your microphone and offer apologies to your boss; 
the second, when you began crying. Excusing yourself and 
going to the restroom would have been more appropriate and 
professional than what you did at the meeting. Learn from it. 



ABBY: I am deeply patriotic and support our troops whole-
heartedly. Because I am people-oriented, I try to go out 
of my way at my job (I am a hotel front desk clerk) to say 
nice things to people or do something for them. I often see 
government IDs on individuals (usually military) and I would 
like to say thanks -- but I don't know how. I don't know 
who's been overseas or not, and was wondering if you had 
any suggestions. I would just like to be able to say thanks 
without being intrusive and remain professional about it. 
-- ELIZABETH IN ORLANDO

ELIZABETH: All you need to say is, "Thank you very much for 
your service to our country." The statement is direct, not 
at all intrusive and will be appreciated. 




ABBY is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as 
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline 
Phillips. Write ABBY at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box  
69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. 
____________________________________________________________

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