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Publication: Dear Abby
Feeding Pate To Cats Puts Parnter In The Doghouse

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         DEAR ABBY - April 10, 2008 
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ABBY: My domestic partner and I have been together 12 years.
I love him dearly. He is sweet, funny, witty, kind, and most 
important, willing to live with me. I can't imagine life 
without him.

The problem is, he has no common sense. He doesn't "get" that 
dishes we cook and eat with should not be used for feeding 
the cats. If the toilet runs over (we have old plumbing), my 
best bath towels should not be used to clean up the mess 
when there's a mop in the closet. If we're out of cat food, 
he should go to the supermarket and buy some, not open the 
can of goose liver pate we brought back from Paris. That 
sort of thing. 

The immediate cause of my annoyance is if you have two credit
cards, one with a 7 percent interest rate, the other with a 
21 percent interest rate, you don't put a $2,000 purchase on 
the card with the higher interest rate.

My partner is 42, but sometimes I feel like I'm the parent 
of a 4-year-old. If I say anything, he accuses me of being a 
"control freak." I don't consider myself one, but I just don't 
want my favorite punch bowl used as a bucket. Any ideas before 
I shoot the both of us? 

READY TO SCREAM: Until they start cloning couples, there 
will always be one more responsible person in a relationship. 
Because your partnership has lasted as long as it has, I'm 
sure he has his strengths, too, that are different from yours.

Because you already know the state of your plumbing, stash a 
supply of rags or old, faded towels in your linen closet and 
show them to him, so that when another emergency occurs, he 
will be able to locate them quickly. Transfer your fine china 
and crystal to a cabinet that's less convenient to reach --
perhaps even one with a lock -- so it won't be so available 
when the livestock gets hungry. 

And warn your partner in advance that certain items -- like 
pate -- are only for special occasions. Also, consider 
transferring your balance from the high-interest credit card,
or keeping it in a safety deposit box.

If all that fails, remind yourself what it was like back on 
the dating circuit. If that doesn't make you count his 
virtues, nothing will.


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ABBY: I have a friend, "Bob," who has a strange sense of 
humor. A lot of people don't find him funny, and this time 
I'm afraid he's gone too far.

His most recent prank was to fake his own death. Bob even 
went so far as to submit a fake obituary. The problem is we 
have mutual friends in other states who are convinced he is 
dead and are pretty shaken up about it.

I want to tell everyone the truth, but I know Bob will see 
it as a betrayal. I don't want to hurt our relationship, but 
I hate to see our friends in pain. What should I do? 

DILEMMA: Your "friend" has a cruel and twisted sense of 
humor, and if you are wise, you'll distance yourself from 
him. Not only has he hurt people who care about him, but if 
he has done this to avoid paying taxes or other financial 
obligations, it is fraud.

Since you asked, you should inform anyone who inquires that 
Bob is still very much among them -- and advise them to give 
him a call when you know he'll be picking up.

P.S. If someone did that to me, I'd pretend he WAS dead.

ABBY is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as 
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline 
Phillips. Write ABBY at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box  
69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. 

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