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Publication: Dear Abby
Perfect Dress For Groom's mom Fails To Get Bride's Approval

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         ABBY - May 22, 2008 
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PERFECT DRESS FOR GROOM'S MOM FAILS TO GET BRIDE'S APPROVAL

ABBY: I have recently gotten to know a lovely lady I'll call 
"Judith," whose son is being married in August. During a 
recent trip to Florida, Judith mentioned that she was looking 
for a dress to wear to the wedding and asked where she might 
find something nice. The next day, the woman she had spoken 
to arrived with a beautiful gown she had worn only once. The 
dress is lovely and of excellent quality. It fits and looks 
perfect on Judith.

After showing the dress to her future daughter-in-law, 
Judith received an e-mail from the young woman stating 
that the dress will "clash" with her ivory wedding dress 
and might look "dirty" next to it. (The dress is a light 
metallic gold.) She also told Judith that the purse was 
too gaudy. 

Is it the bride's place to tell the mother of the groom 
what to wear? 
-- FRIEND OF JUDITH'S

FRIEND: Tell her? No. But to discuss her concerns with her 
future mother-in-law would have been acceptable. The bride-
to-be's method of conveying her concerns to Judith was 
unfortunate. They both would have been better served had 
she picked up the phone and called.



ABBY: How do you politely and firmly discourage over-
zealous religious solicitors who go door-to-door? My 
mother's co-worker and her husband have been coming to 
our house for some time, but now that Mom has retired, 
they have increased the frequency of their "visits."

Every time they show up at our door, Mom and I tell 
them, "No, we're not interested," but they don't seem 
to understand the meaning of those words. They still 
keep coming, and when we're not home, they leave 
literature on our doorstep. It's becoming irritating, 
and we're losing our patience. This couple has been 
"visiting" us for at least five years. Any ideas? 
-- HOUNDED IN BRITISH COLUMBIA

HOUNDED: What took you so long to write? The next time 
they show up, greet them with a smile and tell them, 
"Thank you, but I have already been saved." Then 
firmly close the door. If you find "literature" on 
your doorstep, toss it.

This question has arisen before. Years ago, a helpful 
reader wrote that a "courteous young man" had ignored 
the "No Solicitors" sign that was posted. When he 
offered her some religious literature, she responded, 
"You may give it to me only if you take some of MY 
literature for YOU to read," and handed him the 
Catholic Digest. The young man not only left in a 
hurry, but didn't accept the literature or leave 
any of his.

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ABBY: My wife had a wheelbarrow with a steel wheel that 
had a tendency to sink into the ground when she was 
pushing a heavy load, making it difficult for her.

I recently won a large sum of money in a lottery, and to 
show my love and appreciation, I bought her a wheelbarrow 
with an inflatable rubber tire so it would be easier for 
her to push a heavy load. My wife has not talked to me 
since. What did I do wrong? 
-- BIG WINNER IN THE USA

BIG WINNER: Congratulations on your good fortune. What 
you "did" isn't the problem. What you DIDN'T do is what 
has upset your wife. You didn't ask her what she would 
LIKE to have. Do it now, and I predict she'll not only
start talking, but you'll have trouble getting her to
stop.




ABBY is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as 
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline 
Phillips. Write ABBY at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box  
69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. 
____________________________________________________________

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