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Publication: Clean Laffs
This time without the general mayhem.

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             CLEAN LAFFS - Monday, July 14, 2008

Good morning crew, 

Welcome to another week, folks. I am actually not completely 
exhausted today like I was last Monday. This weekend was 
appreciably quieter without all of the parties and weddings 
and general mayhem. We even got to do a little sailing. I'll 
fill you in on any juicy details later. Right now let's get 
on with the good stuff. 

Laugh it up, 


P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum


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"According to Glamour magazine, 83 percent of women tell 
their friends secrets to their husbands. So women, if you 
tell your girlfriend something, 83 percent chance she will 
tell her husband. But the good news? One hundred percent 
of the men aren't listening anyway." -Jay Leno 


"I have just two superstitions. One, don't call someone a 
bad name if they have a loaded pistol. Two, don't call your 
girl friend Tina if her name is Vivian." 
 --Basketball player George Underwood 

[And I can appreciate both of those!]


"As if we don't have enough problems. Fifteen different pre-
scription drugs in our drinking water. Fifteen! Honest to 
God, you need a doctor's prescription to turn on the faucet." 
 -David Letterman

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- 12/24 settable clock with alarm, calendar, day-of-the-week 
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Remember you can save even more when you buy two. Get two (2) 
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It was just another day at the DMV. I had taken a woman out 
on her driving test when a police cruiser came up behind 
us--sirens wailing, lights flashing. 

"Was I speeding?" she asked the officer, after both cars 
pulled over. 

"No," said the officer. "But you are driving a stolen 

Smiling awkwardly, the woman turned to me. "Does this mean 
I failed my test?" 

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

While carpenters were working outside the old house I had 
just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had 
just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen 
asked to use the bathroom. 

With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly 
scrubbed floors. "Just a minute," I said, thinking of a 
quick solution. "I'll put down newspapers." 

"It's all right, lady," he responded. "I'm already trained." 


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