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Publication: Clean Laffs
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            CLEAN LAFFS - Thursday, July 17, 2008

Good morning crew, 

    Joe, where's the report from when you got to 
    attack a room full of women last week?  Who 
    won? -Kay C in KC

I'll tell you one thing...I was surprised how timid most 
of the women in a women's self-defense class acted. I told 
every woman I worked with (which was most of them) that 
they could be aggressive with me and that I could handle 
it, but almost all of them reacted half-heartedly toward 

The only exception was one young lady who I had pinned 
against the wall by the throat. When the twisting technique 
she was trying to use didn't work she panicked and her first 
instinct was to kick me south of the border. 

Which is, of course, exactly the right thing to do in that 
kind of situation. And that is exactly what I told her from 
my position, curled up on the floor, while she was patting 
my shoulder telling me how sorry she was. 

Laugh it up, 


P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum


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"This week Starbucks is unveiling a new drink called a 
Vivanno. Apparently Vivanno is the Italian word for 'You 
just wasted $8.'" -Conan O'Brien


"I'm growing a mustache for Vegas Week. Lots of great Vegas 
entertainers had mustaches...Robert Goulet...Sammy Davis, Jr 
...Cher." -Craig Ferguson


"Six Olive Garden waitresses have posed naked for the Play-
boy magazine. I'm thinking, come on, really? When I'm in 
Olive Garden, I have trouble getting extra bread sticks." 
 -David Letterman

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While watching a movie recently, I couldn't hear the dialogue 
over the chatter of the two women sitting in front of me. 
Unable to bear it any longer, I tapped one of them on the 

"Excuse me," I said, "I can't hear." 

"I should hope not," she replied sharply. "This is a private 

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

Harry was never shy about reminding people that he played 
semi-pro baseball. 

"My teammates used to call me James Bond," he was telling 
his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the 

"That and he batted .007," his wife added. 


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