Publication: ABC Soaps
I'll try to keep my underwear off my head. | |
Subscribe FREE to ABC Soaps by clicking here.
CLEAN LAFFS - Wednesday, August 9, 2006
------------------------------------------------------------
Do you think Fidel Castro's death would be good for the
Cuban people?
Click here to answer the Question of the Week
------------------------------------------------------------
Good morning crew,
See if you can explain this one to me. I recently received
a tax bill from the Cook County Department of Revenue for
the vehicle I purchased earlier this year. Something called
a 'Use Tax'.
When I first opened it I was sure it was going to be for the
boat...but after reading the bill it turns out the tax is on
the trailer. Apparently, since it doesn't have wheels, Cook
County doesn't consider the boat a vehicle. The trailer on
the other hand...well, I'm not sure of the logic on this
one, but since the boat is 20 times more expensive than the
trailer I'm not going to argue with them. They can have their
$11.25 and I'll keep the boat.
By the way, I want to answer this email from a Clean Laffs
reader named Becky...
Joe, I LOVE YOUR CLEAN LAFFS. Can I order any of
the Clean Laffs Books from back order? I just
ordered What did the Termite say when He walked
into the Bar. I was medical leave for two months
and someone deleted all of my clean laff jokes.
Thanks! And keep up the good work!
Well, Becky, while I appreciate the kudos, there is only
one Clean Laffs book. I just change the advertisement at
the bottom of the page every once in a while so readers will
keep looking at it. However, if you're looking for something
a little different and don't want to pick up the free copy
advertised below (plus 5 bucks s&h) you can get a personally
signed copy for just ten bucks. When I become a world famous
author and eccentric millionaire who wears his underwear on
his head at parties, that baby'll be worth a mint! Just click
the link to read more about it.
The Best of Clean Laffs Signed Edition
Laugh it up,
Joe
Email Joe
***
Animals at Play Now Available on DVD
The Cutest Animal Footage Ever Caught on Film for $9.99
Whether they’re furry, finned or feathered, Cute and Cuddly:
Animals at Play is a delightful look at animals as they
playfully explore their special world. We've got everything
from A to Z, (Aardvarks to Zebras) in this 2 hour DVD. Adults
and children alike will love this fascinating collection of
baby animals at their cutest. Not only will this DVD provide
amusement, but education as well. Now $9.99 when you visit:
Animals at Play on DVD
***
NORA CHARLES (Myrna Loy): "They say you were shot in the
tabloids."
NICK CHARLES (William Powell): "They never got near my
tabloids." --THE THIN MAN, 1934
[Hey, this was racy stuff for 1934.]
***
OTIS B. DRIFTWOOD (Groucho Marx): "It's alright, that's in
every contract. That's what they call a sanity clause."
FIORELLO (Chico Marx): "You can't fool me! There ain't no
Sanity Claus." --A NIGHT AT THE OPERA, 1935
***
OSCAR MADISON (Walter Matthau): "I cannot stand little notes
on my pillow! 'We are all out of cornflakes, F.U.' It took
me three hours to figure out F.U. was Felix Unger."
--THE ODD COUPLE, 1968
------------------------------------------------------------
Introducing the Game Lovers 4-CDRom Collection
FOR JUST 99 CENTS...
You read this correctly. For the first time ever, you can
get four (4) fully licensed CDRoms of some of the best games
for just 99 cents. That's 99 CENTS FOR ALL FOUR!
It's the deal of a lifetime but it is a promotional offer so
we MUST limit you to no more than four (3) collections per
order. Included in this Exclusive Collection:
- Asteroids - Family Game Pack by Royale
- Mini Golf Master - Brain Buster
Why are we offering this? Plain and simple, we want to get
you to our PulseTV site to show you how easy it is to order
and what great service we have. Grab this special deal (only
available to GopherCentral readers) by visiting us at:
Game Lover's 4-CDRom Collection
------------------------------------------------------------
As a secret shopper for a large department store, my sister
made purchases at various chains and then reported back to
supervisors on the clerks' performances. After a few weeks,
I asked her if she was enjoying her new job.
"I love it!" she replied. "I'm getting paid for doing two
of my favorite things in life--shopping and criticizing
people."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
Late one night I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station
mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When
I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew
was as black as asphalt and just about as thick.
"How old is the coffee you have here?" I asked the woman who
was standing behind the store counter.
She shrugged. "I don't know. I've only been working here two
weeks."
________________________________________________________
W H A T D I D T H E T E R M I T E S A Y W H E N H E
W A L K E D I N T O T H E B A R?
Want to know the answer to this important question? Then you
need to get a copy of THE BEST OF CLEAN LAFFS! Order Joe's
laff diary for F-R-E-E...all you pay is postage and handling.
Check it out: The Best of Clean Laffs
________________________________________________________
Clean Laffs Archives
Visit the Clean Laffs Site
More FREE Fun & Entertainment
********************************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS
Copyright 2006 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
 E-Mail this issue
Subscribe FREE to ABC Soaps by clicking here.
|