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I'll try to keep my underwear off my head.

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            CLEAN LAFFS - Wednesday, August 9, 2006
Do you think Fidel Castro's death would be good for the 
Cuban people?

Click here to answer the Question of the Week

Good morning crew, 

See if you can explain this one to me. I recently received 
a tax bill from the Cook County Department of Revenue for 
the vehicle I purchased earlier this year. Something called 
a 'Use Tax'. 

When I first opened it I was sure it was going to be for the 
boat...but after reading the bill it turns out the tax is on 
the trailer. Apparently, since it doesn't have wheels, Cook 
County doesn't consider the boat a vehicle. The trailer on 
the other hand...well, I'm not sure of the logic on this 
one, but since the boat is 20 times more expensive than the 
trailer I'm not going to argue with them. They can have their 
$11.25 and I'll keep the boat. 

By the way, I want to answer this email from a Clean Laffs 
reader named Becky...

   Joe, I LOVE YOUR CLEAN LAFFS.  Can I order any of 
   the Clean Laffs Books from back order?  I just 
   ordered What did the Termite say when He walked 
   into the Bar.  I was medical leave for two months 
   and someone deleted all of my clean laff jokes. 
   Thanks! And keep up the good work!

Well, Becky, while I appreciate the kudos, there is only 
one Clean Laffs book. I just change the advertisement at 
the bottom of the page every once in a while so readers will 
keep looking at it. However, if you're looking for something 
a little different and don't want to pick up the free copy 
advertised below (plus 5 bucks s&h) you can get a personally 
signed copy for just ten bucks. When I become a world famous 
author and eccentric millionaire who wears his underwear on 
his head at parties, that baby'll be worth a mint! Just click 
the link to read more about it. 

The Best of Clean Laffs Signed Edition

Laugh it up, 


Email Joe


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NORA CHARLES (Myrna Loy): "They say you were shot in the   
NICK CHARLES (William Powell): "They never got near my   
 tabloids." --THE THIN MAN, 1934   

[Hey, this was racy stuff for 1934.]   


OTIS B. DRIFTWOOD (Groucho Marx): "It's alright, that's in   
 every contract. That's what they call a sanity clause."   

FIORELLO (Chico Marx): "You can't fool me! There ain't no   
 Sanity Claus." --A NIGHT AT THE OPERA, 1935   


OSCAR MADISON (Walter Matthau): "I cannot stand little notes   
 on my pillow! 'We are all out of cornflakes, F.U.' It took   
 me three hours to figure out F.U. was Felix Unger."   

  --THE ODD COUPLE, 1968

Introducing the Game Lovers 4-CDRom Collection 

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get four (4) fully licensed CDRoms of some of the best games 
for just 99 cents. That's 99 CENTS FOR ALL FOUR!

It's the deal of a lifetime but it is a promotional offer so 
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order. Included in this Exclusive Collection:

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      - Mini Golf Master    - Brain Buster

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Game Lover's 4-CDRom Collection

As a secret shopper for a large department store, my sister 
made purchases at various chains and then reported back to 
supervisors on the clerks' performances. After a few weeks, 
I asked her if she was enjoying her new job. 

"I love it!" she replied. "I'm getting paid for doing two 
of my favorite things in life--shopping and criticizing 

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

Late one night I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station 
mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When 
I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew 
was as black as asphalt and just about as thick. 

"How old is the coffee you have here?" I asked the woman who 
was standing behind the store counter. 

She shrugged. "I don't know. I've only been working here two 


 W H A T  D I D  T H E  T E R M I T E  S A Y  W H E N  H E  

            W A L K E D  I N T O  T H E  B A R?

Want to know the answer to this important question? Then you 
need to get a copy of THE BEST OF CLEAN LAFFS! Order Joe's 
laff diary for F-R-E-E...all you pay is postage and handling. 
Check it out: The Best of Clean Laffs

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