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Publication: Clean Laffs
Only seven weekends left, folks.

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             CLEAN LAFFS - Friday, July 18, 2008

Good morning crew, 

There are seven full weekends of summer left, folks. We are 
right in the middle of it. I don't know about you, but I 
still haven't done half of what of what I wanted to do this 
summer. I still have to take a motorcycle trip up to Lake 
Geneva, visit the Renaissance Fair and figure out a way to 
sink the boat, make it look like an accident and collect the 
insurance money. 

Lots to do, lots to do. 

Laugh it up, 


P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum


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"A European brewery has purchased Anheuser-Busch, the makers 
of Budweiser, for $52 billion. Which is a shame because if 
they had waited until happy hour they could have paid half 
that." -Conan O'Brien


"President Bush has proposed sweeping immigration changes, 
which is pretty amazing when you consider before he became 
president, Bush thought immigration was the sincerest form 
of flattery." --Jay Leno 


"Did you barbeque today? Over 100 million Americans barbequed 
today – because the polar ice caps just aren't melting fast 
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A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once 
all the mess has been cleared up, an inquiry begins. 

One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement. 
"Okay Simpson," says the investigator, "you were near the 
scene - what happened?" 

"Well, it's like this. Old Charley was in the mixing room, 
and I saw him take a cigarette out of his pocket and light 

"He was smoking in the mixing room?" the investigator said 
in stunned horror, "How long had he been with the company?" 

"About 20 years, sir" 

"20 years in the company, then he goes and strikes a match 
in the mixing room, I'd have thought it would have been the 
last thing he'd have done." 

"It was, sir." 

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

Jim was having reasonable success playing the stock market 
when George expressed a desire to give it a try. Jim 
advised him on what stocks to buy, what to stay clear of, 
etc. In his list of "pointers" was the fact that George 
should invest only small sums. 

But George threw caution to the winds and six months later 
sent an email to Jim, "So much for your darn "pointers! 
Now send me some "retrievers!" 


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