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Publication: Clean Laffs
Ow, ow, ow!

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CLEAN LAFFS                          Tuesday, July 22, 2008
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Good morning crew, 

You know the saying, out of sight, out of mind? We took 
the boat out on Sunday and when we launched it was cool 
and overcast, so I didn't even think about sun screen. 
Of course, the sun came out an hour later and for the 
rest of the day it was blazing hot. By the time we got 
back to the harbor around five o'clock I was boiled like 
a lobster. 

The funny thing is, I had a whole tube of sun screen in 
my bag, but since I didn't apply it at the beginning of 
the day I just didn't think about it. 

And to add insult to injury, since I wore sunglasses the 
entire day I now look like a raccoon.

Laugh it up, 

Joe 

P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum

                            ***

BARK CONTROL COLLAR
Do yourself and your neighbors a favor...

Retail Price: $14.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99

Bark Control Collar makes pet training easy. The high pitched 
tones, inaudible to humans, reinforce commands and dramatically 
reduce training time by omitting gentle but irritating negative 
stimulus when the dag barks, thereby calming the action. 

Bark Control Collar requires one 9V battery not included.

WHY YOU SHOULD GET IT:
- Train your dog away from annoying barking with this smart 
electronic Bark Control Collar. 

- It will teach your dog to stop Barking. 

- Teaches your pet to break the barking habit without pain, shock 
or needless Trauma. 

- Safe, Humane and Effective. 

Do yourself and your neighbors a favor and get the Bark Control 
Collar today. BARK CONTROL COLLAR...

                            ***

"Larry King announced that he's going to write an autobio-
graphy titled 'What Am I Doing Here?' Larry says that if 
the book sells, he's got plans for several sequels including, 
'What Day is This? and Where Are My Pants?'" -Conan O'Brien

                            ***

"I want to get this off my chest: For the past 20 years, 
I have been using performance-enhancing vodka." 
 -David Letterman

                            ***

"I got a good tip from my stockbroker the other day. He 
said, 'For only 39 cents, I can super size those fries for 
you.'" -Jay Leno


------------------------------------------------------------
Be Prepared With Our High Quality 29 Pc. Roadside Emergency Kit

Store Price: $29.99
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This well thought-out, high quality automotive kit brings
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trunk and rest assured that you are prepared for those times
when you need a jump, or a tool to help get you back on the
road. With this exclusive offer you'll save $17.00 off the store
price. The jumper cables alone are worth $12.99 but you’ll get 
the other pieces along with the 100% Tough storage case as well. 
For a complete list of all the pieces in the kit or to order, 
visit: 29 Pc. Roadside Emergency Kit
------------------------------------------------------------


My sister gave me a 13" TV for my birthday. She had gotten 
it for free when she bought a used console TV for the living 
room. The original owners said they didn't use the 13" TV 
much because it would shut off after a while. After checking 
out the on-screen menu features, I found there was a sleep 
timer set for 90 minutes!


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

I was at a stop light, behind a car with a bumper sticker 
that said "Honk if you love Jesus." I honked. 

The driver leaned out his window, flipped me the bird, and 
yelled, "Can't you see the light is still red, you moron?"

____________________________________________________________


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