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Publication: Clean Laffs
Down with the Quartering Act and the Stamp Act!

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            CLEAN LAFFS - Thursday, July 3, 2008

Good morning crew, 

As you know tomorrow is Independence Day and that means we 
are going to be taking the day off and won't be mailing any 
newsletters. So if you were actually planning on sitting 
inside on your computer tomorrow and reading your email you 
really need to get out and find a barbecue to go to. 

I will be doing the same thing I do with my family every 
year. There will be a big party at Cousin Kaz's house during 
which we will burn an effigy of King George. It's a lot of 

Then on Sunday I have a wedding to attend. It's going to be 
a busy weekend. 

Look for me again next week and I'll fill you in on all of 
the details. 

Laugh it up, 


P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum



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2 in 1 Home Security Door Alarm


"It's the last weekend in California to drive and talk on 
the cell phone without a headset. Starting Tuesday, if you 
are caught talking on the phone without a hands-free device, 
you get hit with a $20 fine. One nice thing — now that I 
will have my hands free, it's easier to return gun fire with 
other motorists." -Jimmy Kimmel


"My mother was as religious as she was repressed. Her facts 
of life speech began with the phrase, 'Satan takes many 
forms...'" -Dana Gould 


"They say that kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray, 
which is a good thing to remember the next time you get 
lonely." -Fred Stoller 

CD PORTFOLIO (24 Capacity)

Normal Price: $7.99 

Carry your CDs with you wherever you go with this case that 
can hold either CDs or CD ROMS and holds up to 24 CDs. The 
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This lightweight case features rugged nylon construction and 
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Grab one or two while you can. This is a closeout item so once 
they are gone, they are gone... CD PORTFOLIO (24 Capacity)

A few years ago we were desperately trying to sell our house, 
which was situated on a busy thoroughfare. Our real estate 
agent decided to have open-house inspection nearly every day 
to promote the sale. We instructed the children not to talk 
to anyone about the house. 

One evening a man took our seven-year-old daughter aside and 
asked if our house had any secrets he should know. Her first 
reaction was to smile and ignore his question. But he became 
more persistent and, finally, she confessed there was one 
secret but she could not tell it to him. 

"Now we're getting somewhere," he said. "Tell me the secret. 
I promise I won't tell anyone." 

She looked him straight in the eye and whispered, "We have 
monsters in our sewer." 

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

In the office where I work, there is a constant battle 
between our technical-support director and customer-service 
personnel over the room temperature, which is usually too 

The frustrated director, trying to get us to understand his 
position, announced one afternoon, "We need to keep the 
temperature below seventy-five degrees or the computers 
will overheat." 

Thinking that this was just another excuse, one of my 
shivering colleagues retorted, "Yeah right. So how did they 
keep the computers from overheating before there was air 


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