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Publication: Clean Laffs
I'm fresh out of excuses.

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CLEAN LAFFS                         Thursday, July 24, 2008

Good morning crew, 

Well, the sting from my sunburn is just about gone. I guess 
that means I don't have an excuse any more not to go to the 

Laugh it up, 


P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum


Amazing Perfect Peeler Saves You Time

Normal Price: $9.99
Get two for $7.98

You probably saw this on TV selling for $19.99... well actually 
you got two for that price, so the effective price was $9.99 each.

We made a deal direct with the company who puts them out and 
we've discounted it to just above cost. We want to sell them
all. In fact you can get one for $4.99 or two from us for $7.98,
not $19.99.

Simply press the button.. Perfect Peelers precision blade moves 
side to side and up and down for perfectly peeled potatoes, 
carrots, apples & more - with almost no effort at all.

Compact, portable, battery operated Perfect Peeler can be used 
anywhere. Perfect in the kitchen, cookouts, & camping. Built-in 
corer removes potato eyes fast & easy... and it's easy to clean. 
Check It Out By Visiting: THE PERFECT PEELER...


"I had a good weekend. Guillermo and Uncle Frank came over 
and I smoked a roast in my smoker. I smoked it for 12 hours. 
Fifteen pounds of roast, 15 guys there, one three pound dog, 
and not one scrap left. We ate the dog, too, when we were 
finished." -Jimmy Kimmel 


"This is a great opportunity to let the audience into my 
private world. You guys don't know who the real guy is. So 
I'm going to give you some fun facts right now. I'm 6 foot 
4. I weigh 178 pounds. For an hour after I was born, doctors 
thought that I was a baby girl. The light was very good; I 
still don't understand." -Conan O'Brien 


"This year, the Immigration and Naturalization Service has 
raised their fee to become a U.S. citizen. It now costs about 
$700. You know how much the Immigration and Naturalization 
Service expects to make this year from people becoming U.S. 
citizens? Over $1,400." -Jay Leno 


Store Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $7.99 for one, $11.98 for two!

==> No Dealers Please. Limit of five (5) Per order <==

Here's an amazing deal. You get not one, not two, but THREE 
Silicone Brushes. These are almost exactly like the ones 
you see on TV. The difference? The price! Get three (3) 
brushes for less than what you pay for one on TV or from 
a store. This was a special buy we pulled off, but we only 
got 1250 pieces. Once they're gone, they are gone for ever. 
This is below the manufacturer's cost. 


A friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska 
for a trip that the husband had long dreamed of taking. He 
kept talking about how great it would be to stay in a log 
cabin without electricity, to hunt moose, and drive a dog 
team instead of a car. 

"If we decided to live there permanently, away from civil-
ization, what would you miss the most?" he asked his wife. 

She replied, "You." 

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

My son is the manager of a glass and window company and ad-
vertised in the paper for experienced glaziers. Since a good 
glass man is hard to find, he was pleased when a man who 
called about the job said he had over 10 years of experience. 

"Where have you worked as a glazier?" my son asked. 

The man replied, "Dunkin' Donuts." 


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