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            CLEAN LAFFS - Thursday, June 5, 2008

Good morning crew, 

I'd like to say thanks to everybody who wrote in with their 
stories about Lasik surgery. Almost everybody had good 
things to say about it, and I have to admit I have been 
eager to do it for the past several years...but it's not 
so much fear of the surgery that has been making me hesitate 
as it is committing the money. But a person can't wait for-
ever, I suppose. 

Laugh it up, 


P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum


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"I think vests are all about protection. The life vest pro-
tects you from drowning, and the bullet-proof vest protects 
you from getting shot and the sweater vest protects you 
from pretty girls." -Demetri Martin


"Happiness, n. An agreeable sensation arrising from contem-
plating the misery of another." 
 --Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary 


"A candidate is someone who gets money from the rich and 
votes from the poor to protect them from each other." 

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Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the bath-
room, I stopped at a rest area and headed to the restrooms. 

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the 
ther stall saying: 'Hi, how are you?'

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and 
I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat 
embarrassed, 'Doin' just fine.'

And the other person says: 'So what are you up to?'

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking 
this is too bizarre so I say: 'Uhhh, I'm like you, just 

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can 
when I hear another question. 'Can I come over?' 

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I 
could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them 
'No..I'm a little busy right now!' 

Then I hear the person say nervously... 'Listen, I'll have 
to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who 
keeps answering all my questions. 

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

My wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to 
her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative 
state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. 
If that ever happens, just pull the plug." 

She got up, unplugged the TV and poured out all of my beer! 


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