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Publication: Clean Laffs
Cutting it close.

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            CLEAN LAFFS - Monday, June 30, 2008

Good morning crew, 

Last week was a tight week. The money has just been leaping 
out of my pockets lately, especially with having to pay for 
the double test last week. Plus, going downtown to play with 
the boat usually means spending money on something extraneous.

I'm down to my last ten bucks. But you know what today is... 

Laugh it up, 


P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum


Easily His Best Stand-Up Performance To Date

Taped before a sold-out house at New York City's Carnegie Hall, 
the performance represents a creative resurgence for Carlin, 
following a heart attack earlier that year. 

Watch as he ignites the stage with his outrageous comedy and 
mimicry, including the classic routines: Rice Krispies, 
Newscast #3, Have a Nice Day, Ice-Box Man, Fussy Eater, 
Dogs & Cats #2 and MUCH MORE. Now only $19.99, visit: 

George Carlin at Carnegie Hall


"Fools and wise men are equally harmless. It is the half 
fools and the half wise who are dangerous." 
 --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 


"For God's sake give me the young man who has brains enough 
to make a fool of himself." -Robert L Stevenson


"The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large 
audience." Artie Schopenhauer


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On a family vacation one summer, we crossed Wyoming and noted 
several historical points of interest. The children were 
especially interested because they enjoyed the computer game 
"Oregon Trail," which gives players a taste of the hardships 
the pioneers endured. We stopped at the famous South Pass to 
look at the wagon tracks still visible in the dirt. 

Squinting out over the desolate, wind-swept landscape, my 
daughter nodded and said grimly, "This is where my oxen 
always die." 

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

Chatting with my mother-in-law I asked, "Have you heard of 
this company that takes the cremated ashes of your loved one 
and then compresses the carbon into a diamond?" 

"Yes," she said, smirking. "It brings a whole new meaning to 
the phrase 'family jewels.'" 


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