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Publication: Clean Laffs
A nice way to come home.

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             CLEAN LAFFS - Monday, June 16, 2008
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Good morning crew, 

Welcome to a new work week and also payday...for me anyway! 
It's nice to come back from a vacation and have a fresh 
paycheck waiting for you. Too bad most of it is going toward 
bills. 

Laugh it up, 

Joe 

P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum

                            ***

"Come ride a little train as it's rollin' down the tracks 
to the Junction -- Petticoat Junction"

Make a return to Hooterville with the release of the long
running television classic 'Petticoat Junction' on this one
of a kind DVD collection. 

Reunite with the Bradley sisters in over 20 newly restored 
episodes. The bonus features in this 11 hour collection 
include a new full-length documentary entitles, "The History 
of Hooterville" along with other lost treasures. Order yours 
today at: Petticoat Junction DVD Collection

                            ***

"I used to compete in sports a lot, but then I realized that 
you can buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything." 
 -Demetri Martin

                            ***

"I was getting my teeth whitened, but then I said forget 
that, I'll just get a tan instead." -Mitch Hedberg

                            ***

"You can buy anything on eBay. I just bought the world's 
oldest globe. It's flat." --Buzz Nutley 


------------------------------------------------------------
Set of 2 Magnifying Mirrors...

Retail Price: $29.99
Steal Price: $11.27

See what you've been missing! This handy magnifying mirror set 
includes one 7 1/2 inch diameter mirror with 3X magnification 
and a 6 inch mirror with 7X the magnification. 

Each mirror has a suction cup that can mount to the shower or 
bathroom mirror. Great for shaving, putting on make-up or 
tweezing! 

FEATURES:
- One (1) 7 1/2 inch round mirror with 3X Magnification
- One (1) 6 inch round mirror with 7X Magnification
- Suction cup design.
- Attaches to any smooth surface.

To get more info, see a picture... visit: 

Set of 2 Magnifying Mirrors...
------------------------------------------------------------


Did you hear about the two guys who decided to try duck 
hunting? They bought new outfits & equipment, and went out 
to a place in the woods where they heard the hunting was 
really good. But after several hours of thrashing through 
the woods, one fellow said, "I don't know about this. We've 
been out here all day and haven't caught a single duck. Do 
you think we're doing something wrong?" 

"I don't know," replied the other. "Maybe we're not throwing 
the dog high enough." 


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

Two men walk into a bar. One sits at one end of the bar and 
the other at the opposite end. The bartender asks the first 
man what he wants. 

I'll have a Frizzle...that's a beer with a splash of tonic, 
a splash of orange juice, a squeeze of lemon, no lime." 

Then the man at the other end of the bar orders. "Make mine 
a Frizzle.It's a beer with just a bit of tonic, a bit of 
orange juice, a squeeze of lemon, but no lime." 

The astonished bartender makes the drinks. Then he asks the 
first man what he does for a living. 

"I am a theoretical mathematician at the university." 

Then he asks the other man what he does. 

"Theoretical mathematician at the college." 

"This is remarkable," says the bartender. "You both order 
a drink that I've never heard of. You have the identical 
profession and you both walk into my bar on the same day 
at the same time. What are the odds on something like that 
happening?" 

Both men look up and answer in unison, "Twelve trillion, 
nine hunderd, and eighty-seven billion to one." 

____________________________________________________________


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