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Publication: Clean Laffs
The harbor cops are gonna get me.

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             CLEAN LAFFS - Friday, June 27, 2008
-----------------------------------------------------------


Good morning crew, 

It looks like it is going to be a nice weekend. Saturday 
will be a high of 81 and partly sunny with a 10-20 m.p.h. 
west to northwest wind, and you know what that means. 

Sailing! 

Of course, I have to be at the harbor tomorrow one way or 
another for the sanitation inspection. This is mostly for 
the larger boats. A harbor official (that is some teenager 
working a summer job) must inspect the boat to make sure 
that the galley and sewage disposal are in proper working 
condition so you are not leaking anything you shouldn't be 
into the harbor. 

Our little 25-footer does not have a galley and the head 
is a little port-a-potty that does not even drain outside 
of the boat (you actually have to pick the toilet up and 
carry it off the boat by hand...a very appetizing job). 

So the sanitation inspection is a waste of time, but we still 
have to do it because they won't give us a harbor sticker 
without the inspection, and without the harbor sticker the 
harbor cops will write our boat a parking ticket. I'm not 
kidding! 

We got one last year for not having the name of the boat 
displayed. How's that for bureaucracy? 

Laugh it up, 

Joe 

P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum

                            ***

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"I found myself utterly depressed the other day and spent   
the entire afternoon listening to Celine Dion records...   
at least that's what I thought I was doing.  Turns out the   
cat had just fallen into the dryer and was trying to get   
out." --Julian Clary 

                            ***

Next week is the Fourth of July. The networks always run 
these fireworks safety videos to make sure no one has any 
fun on the Fourth of July. I know they're supposed to make 
us scared of fireworks, but after seeing them I feel this 
intense desire to blow something up." -Jimmy Kimmel

                            ***

"If it is very painful for you to criticize your friends, 
you are safe doing it. But if you take the slightest 
pleasure in it, that is the time to hold your tongue." 
 --Alice Miller 


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The orthodontist and his assistants were removing my eight- 
year-old's dental appliance. Because it was cemented to 
the upper teeth, they had to use some pressure to release 
it. When it finally popped out, three baby teeth came out 
as well. My child was horrified at seeing the gaps. 

"Well," my child said to the staff gathered around, "who 
do I see about getting some dentures?" 


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister 
left me alone in a restaurant with my 10-month old nephew. 
I said, "What do I do if he cries?" 

She said, "Give him some vegetables." 

It turns out that jalapeno is not his favorite. 

____________________________________________________________


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