Home | Newest Editions | Most Popular Issues | Free Newsletters | Forums

Custom Search
Publication: Clean Laffs
Somebody's going to get a mouthful of knuckles.

Subscribe FREE to Clean Laffs by clicking here.

             CLEAN LAFFS - Friday, June 6, 2008

Good morning crew, 

After months of preparation The Albatross is finally ready 
to go in the water this weekend and....it's going to thunder 
storm. How's that for luck? I'll tell you what I'm going to 
do. I'm going to pack a cooler full of beer and sandwiches 
and I'm going to go sit in the boat in the parking lot for 
five or six hours. That's what I'm going to do. 

Tonight, Mason has invited me to a reception at an acupun-
cture clinic downtown. They have a free martini bar so that 
should be worth the trip. But if anybody tries to stick me 
with anything somebody's going to get a mouthful of knuckles. 

Laugh it up, 


P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum


PET BLINKERS... The Pet Safety Light
Protect Yourself & Your Pet!

Store Price: $7.99 
DEAL PRICE: $3.99 or less

Pet Blinkers give you the added security and peace of mind 
knowing you and your pet(s) are visible at night. Whether 
you’re going for a jog with your pet or if you just want 
extra attention, attach the Pet Blinker to your pet's collar 
and be seen a half-mile away. These eye-catching LEDs 
accessorize any pet. Requires three AG3 lithium cell 
batteries (included). 

PET BLINKERS... The Pet Safety Light


"In California, a high school student who's an illegal 
immigrant is about to be deported, but since he's the 
school's valedictorian, he's asking President Bush to 
help. Bush told the valedictorian, 'Don't worry, I won't 
let them send you back to Valedictoria.'" -Conan O'Brien


"A bunch of people in Italy are turning Al Gore's 'An 
Inconvenient Truth' into an opera. Here are some of the 
songs: 'You Make Me Feel So Hot,' 'Come Fry With Me,' and 
'Call Me Biodegradable.'" -David Letterman


"Obama's speech was mesmerizing last night — 20,000 
screaming fans. I think I know his secret: He throws candy 
to the audience." -Craig Ferguson

........ *** THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE free *** .........

Receive some of the best free offers available on the net. 
*Get Your Freebies* is delivered to you via email and you're
just a click a way from getting things like videos, audio 
cassettes, T-shirts and more - ALL free. Don't miss the best 
Freebies newsletter anywhere. And guess what? You can join 
free of course... just visit the GopherCentral website and 
loof for Get Your Freebies: Look for Get Your Freebies

My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping 
would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. 

Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice 
while his wife was away. When I popped in one evening to see 
how he was managing, and he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted 
it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, 
scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had 
a bath." 

I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager 
than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making 
the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer 
before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do 
all the rest." 

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

The husband reluctantly agreed to play in the couples 
alternate shot tournament at his club. He teed off on the 
first hole, a par four, and blistered a drive 300 yards 
down the middle of the fairway. 

Upon reaching the ball, the husband said to his wife, "Just 
hit it toward the green, anywhere around there will be 

The wife proceeded to shank the ball deep into the woods. 
Undaunted, the husband said "that's ok sweetheart" and 
spent the full five minutes looking for the ball. he 
found it just in time, but in a horrible position. he 
played the shot of his life to get the ball within two 
feet of the hole. 

He told his wife to knock the ball in. his wife then pro-
ceeded to knock the ball off the green and into a bunker. 
still maintaining composure, the husband summoned all of 
his skill and holed the shot from the bunker. he took the 
ball out of the hole and, while walking off the green, 
put his arm around his wife and calmly said, "Honey, that 
was a bogey, and that's ok, but I think we can do better 
on the next hole." 

To which she replied, "Listen dear, don't yell at me, 
only 2 of those 5 shots were mine!"


Visit the Clean Laffs Archives
Thousands of Great Free Videos
Visit the Clean Laffs Site
More FREE Fun & Entertainment

Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

E-Mail this issue
Subscribe FREE to Clean Laffs by clicking here.

The Clean Laffs Forum
Sonic boom
North American Union
bears have a shot
View this Forum | Post a topic to this forum

In Living Color - Fire Marshal Bill

Watch It Now

Little Shop of Horrors - Feed Me

Watch It Now

Andy Kaufman - Mighty Mouse Theme Song

Watch It Now

Home | Newest Editions | Most Popular Issues | Free Newsletters