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Publication: Clean Laffs
Somebody's going to get a mouthful of knuckles.

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             CLEAN LAFFS - Friday, June 6, 2008
-----------------------------------------------------------


Good morning crew, 

After months of preparation The Albatross is finally ready 
to go in the water this weekend and....it's going to thunder 
storm. How's that for luck? I'll tell you what I'm going to 
do. I'm going to pack a cooler full of beer and sandwiches 
and I'm going to go sit in the boat in the parking lot for 
five or six hours. That's what I'm going to do. 

Tonight, Mason has invited me to a reception at an acupun-
cture clinic downtown. They have a free martini bar so that 
should be worth the trip. But if anybody tries to stick me 
with anything somebody's going to get a mouthful of knuckles. 

Laugh it up, 

Joe 

P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum

                            ***

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                            ***

"In California, a high school student who's an illegal 
immigrant is about to be deported, but since he's the 
school's valedictorian, he's asking President Bush to 
help. Bush told the valedictorian, 'Don't worry, I won't 
let them send you back to Valedictoria.'" -Conan O'Brien

                            ***

"A bunch of people in Italy are turning Al Gore's 'An 
Inconvenient Truth' into an opera. Here are some of the 
songs: 'You Make Me Feel So Hot,' 'Come Fry With Me,' and 
'Call Me Biodegradable.'" -David Letterman

                            ***

"Obama's speech was mesmerizing last night — 20,000 
screaming fans. I think I know his secret: He throws candy 
to the audience." -Craig Ferguson


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My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping 
would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. 

Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice 
while his wife was away. When I popped in one evening to see 
how he was managing, and he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted 
it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, 
scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had 
a bath." 

I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager 
than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making 
the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer 
before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do 
all the rest." 


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

The husband reluctantly agreed to play in the couples 
alternate shot tournament at his club. He teed off on the 
first hole, a par four, and blistered a drive 300 yards 
down the middle of the fairway. 

Upon reaching the ball, the husband said to his wife, "Just 
hit it toward the green, anywhere around there will be 
fine." 

The wife proceeded to shank the ball deep into the woods. 
Undaunted, the husband said "that's ok sweetheart" and 
spent the full five minutes looking for the ball. he 
found it just in time, but in a horrible position. he 
played the shot of his life to get the ball within two 
feet of the hole. 

He told his wife to knock the ball in. his wife then pro-
ceeded to knock the ball off the green and into a bunker. 
still maintaining composure, the husband summoned all of 
his skill and holed the shot from the bunker. he took the 
ball out of the hole and, while walking off the green, 
put his arm around his wife and calmly said, "Honey, that 
was a bogey, and that's ok, but I think we can do better 
on the next hole." 

To which she replied, "Listen dear, don't yell at me, 
only 2 of those 5 shots were mine!"

____________________________________________________________


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END OF CLEAN LAFFS  
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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