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Publication: Clean Laffs
You'll impress the chicks with this one.

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             CLEAN LAFFS - Monday, June 2, 2008
-----------------------------------------------------------


Good morning crew, 

There is supposed to be a rain storm tonight. Have you ever 
watched a thunderstorm? There is a fun little method for 
determining how far away a thunderstorm is located. Wait 
for a lightning flash. Then count the seconds that pass 
until the sound of thunder is heard. Sound travels about 
1 mile in five seconds (while light is instantaneous for 
practical purposes). Thus, if there are five seconds 
between the lightning flash and the thunderclap, the storm 
is approximately a mile away. If ten seconds pass, it is 2 
miles, and so forth. 

I can't tell you how many chicks I've impressed by whipping 
out this little datum on a stormy night. 

Laugh it up, 

Joe 

P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post 
comments on this and recent issues at... Clean Laffs Forum

                            ***

IT'S BIG & IT GLOWS...
The Universal Jumbo Remote Control

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control up to eight separate devices for your convenience, 
while its large size prevents you from misplacing and losing 
the remote again. Control your TV, VCR, DVD, SATELLITE, CABLE, 
Or a mix of all. 

The new glow keys make it amazingly clear to use in the dark!
Best of all it's compatible with almost all major brands of 
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Plus the Journey's Edge brand name ensures quality and 
durability. Makes a thoughtful gift. Check it out at: 

Universal Remote Control

                            ***

"There’s a fair going on in Vienna. A divorce fair. What 
would the rides there be? Half of the Haunted Mansion. I 
need some Space Mountain." -Craig Ferguson 

                            *** 

"Historic day at the White House. President Bush met the 
Dalai Lama. There was an awkward moment when Bush said, 
'Who's the bald chick in the dress?'" -Conan O'Brien

                            *** 

"The National Hobo Convention opened yesterday in Britt, 
Iowa. Planned activities include a parade, a flea market 
and a knife fight over a bottle of hooch." -Jay Leno 

------------------------------------------------------------
Go Speed Racer... GO!
The Ultimate Collector's Edition of Speed Racer

Store Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $14.99

Now you can get twelve (12) episodes of the 1960s classic
animated action cartoon SPEED RACER in this special 
collector's edition DVD. And the best part is, it's at
a special low price.

Watch the exciting adventures of our hero and the memorable 
cast of characters including his pet chimpanzee Chim Chim, 
his faithful girl Trixie, his faithful mechanic Sparky and 
of course the mysterious Racer X. It's 300 minutes of action.

Speed Racer Collectible DVD Series
------------------------------------------------------------


One October my wife and I spent a vacation on Washington's 
Olympic Peninsula. We were eager to visit the rain forests 
near the coast, but we heard that snow slides had made 
some of the roads impassable. Although apprehensive about 
the conditions we might run into, we drove on. 

Sure enough, we had gone only a short way up the High Rain 
Forest road when we saw a sign: "Ice 10 miles." Five miles 
farther on there was another: "Ice 5 miles." The next one 
was: "Ice 1/2 mile." We practically crept that half-mile. 

We came to the last sign. It was outside a small grocery, 
and it read: "Ice 75 cents." 


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------* 

When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite 
friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who 
had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, 
with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship 
might be a possibility between us. 

"So what changed your mind?" I asked him. 

"I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age 
difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He 
looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone 
who's 104?'" 

____________________________________________________________


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************************************************************
END OF CLEAN LAFFS  
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved. 

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