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Publication: Classic Bizarre
Strange Vacations

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<<<<<<<<<<< From the Bizarre News Archives >>>>>>>>>>>>          

    CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS - Tuesday, November 28, 2006           
"A wild journey into the history of the most bizarre stories EVER."
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Greetings Fellow Bizarros:

Ok, school is out for the kids and the wife and I went on
line to try to pick out where the next vacation would be.
Then the next thing I know, a reader sent me this newsletter 
by mail about "strange" vacations.

So I read this publication and the first place they suggest
is "The Testicle Festival." Yep, that's is what I wrote...
The Testicle Festival in the Big Sky state of Montana. Now 
what is this all about? Apparently, this is the largest 
testicle festival in the world (although I am sure Poland 
is working hard not be out-done by Montana as the home of 
the largest). 

Every year, when the ranchers castrate their young bulls to 
raise for meat, they throw a huge party to consume the by-
product. Their motto is, "Waste not, want not." So the bull 
balls are beer-marinated, breaded in a secret recipe of herbs 
and spices and deep-fried for the thousands of fans who come 
to consume this unique delicacy. They serve more than 4 tons 
of testicles every year. 

Plus, there are other activities to burn off the calories, 
including: dancing, games and the pre-requisite wet T-shirt 
contests. 

The festival is usually held in September so I might have to 
take the wife and kids someplace more family oriented and go 
to Montana by myslef. 

Bizarrely,

Lewis


P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Classic Bizarre forum. Check it out here...
Classic Bizarre Forum
-----------------------------------------------------------

+--------------- Bizarre November Holidays ----------------+ 

Visit http://www.bizarrenews.com to view off-the-wall holidays
for the month of November...
Visit Bizarre News
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------ Golf Hookers Give New Meaning to Hole in One -------

NORCO, Calif. - A private golf tournament in California added 
a new hazard to the game -- getting arrested for prostitution.
Police said they arrested six people at the Hidden Valley Golf 
Club on Friday after receiving a tip-off. "As part of the golf 
tournament, sex acts were offered to participants for a fee," 
said Lisa McConnell at the Sheriff's Department. "There were 
tents set up around the course, where people could pay for 
sex." Police detained 100 people at questioning and arrested 
three for pimping and pandering, two for prostitution and one 
for possession of a controlled substance.

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------- Man Arrested in Supermarket for Foot Licking -------

WOONSOCKET, Rhode Island - A random foot-licking man circled
a couple of women at Shaw's Supermarket in Rhode Island. 
According to one 32-year-old woman, the man followed her 
around the store and complimented her on her appealing feet.
Additionally, he told her the toenail polish she was wearing
was "pretty." That's when he allegedly stepped over the line
and bent down, grabbed her foot, and licked it. She imme-
diately marched off, and he went on to a new prospect. The 
next woman said she thought the foot licker was actually a 
store employee. To distract her, the man bent down to arrange 
items on a lower shelf and then placed his face on her foot. 
He tried fleeing the scene, but the woman's husband wrote 
down the plate number of his car. The foot licker is due in 
court next week.


---- Man Seeks Police Advice on Payment for Prostitute -----

When police were stopped at a scene, they thought they had
come across a routine couple arguing. Only this time it
was a customer and a prostitute haggling over prices. The
Spanish customer refused to pay the prostitute because of
what he called "a very unsatisfactory performance." After
arguing with her for some time, he stopped a police car
patrolling the area so he wouldn't have to pay her. The 
police told the man if he didn't pay, he had the option of 
suing the hooker and explaining all the details in court. 
The man opted to pay and quickly left.

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------------- Man Uses Toes to Replace Fingers -------------

IASI, Romania - Stefan Matei, 23, experienced a horrific
accident at work last year and lost four fingers as a result.
In a bizarre solution, doctors suggested he consider trans-
planting two toes to his hand to make up for some of the 
loss. Matei agreed to the surgery, and doctors say the oper-
ation took over eight hours. Dr. Teodor Stamate said, "The
operation was difficult and laborious, but if everything 
goes fine, the patient will be able to start the hand's
re-education therapy in less than six weeks." Matei reportedly
already wants to transplant two more toes to balance out
the initial loss, but doctors are unsure if they should
completely rebuild the hand in that fashion. 


-------------- Porn Instead of a Horse's Leg? --------------

LIVERPOOL, England - Merseyside Laboratory was expecting a
package containing a horse's leg from the Dunstall Park race-
course, but it contained something completely different:
porn. It seems that some of the Park's staff members enjoyed
the tapes and meant to return them to the racecourse hotel's
pay-per-view supplier, but the package was given the wrong 
label. Hence, the big surprise. In the meantime, laboratory
officials kept the pornography while a small investigation
was held to determine if its staff were having pornography
sent to the premises. Racecourse manager Geoff Adcock 
explained the goof up to the lab, and everyone was understand-
ing. Oh, and the leg was never sent anywhere.



Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world   
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural.  Get The   
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..   
Bizarre Uncensored 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I read the excuses for missing school in Monday's newsletter. 
I almost fell out of my seat! I was wondering if I could 
forward them to my friends and leave the link to subscribe 
to Bizarre News. Would that be okay? 
[It's for this very reason that I always recommend reading 
Bizarre News while wearing a seat belt. And yes, that would 
be okay.]


Apparently there was a Nancy Hirschberg in the psychology 
department at the Univ. of Illinois. She died in 1979; a 
memorial fund has been established in her name. she has no 
citations in pubmed; but might want to try psych abstracts 
or some such for her work. --Tricia
[So we still have no idea if the research is acurate. How 
will I know where to look?]


Lewis, For a long time my friend would forward your newsletter 
(my work blocked shagmail so I couldn't subscribe).  Two years 
she passed it along.  I was happy to see it grow.  Now I have 
my own membership; I can finally let you know my apreciation 
for the bizarre in my workday.  --Jenni
[Thanks for your patronage, Jenni.]


Ok, the Alvin and the chipmunks on helium calling 911 actually 
made me laugh out loud.  Thank you for the laugh. -Sharron
[That was a serious story about a great tragedy. You're a 
cruel one, Sharron.]


Lewis, Regarding your recent letter about a scorpion stinging 
itself to death if you put liquor on it;  I tried it using 
Jack Daniels. It not only didn't work, the scorpion brought 
back a bunch of rowdy friends the next day. Now I can't get 
rid of them! --Joe
[Sorry Joe, we were talking the insect, not the rock group.]


I love your newsletter and it's the only junk email I get 
that I read.  Just so you know, it's not liquor that will 
make a scorpion sting itself.  It's rubbing alcohol. Keep 
up the great work!! --Justyne
[Thanks Justyne, that information will be very helpful the 
next time I'm attacked by scorpions and all I have handy is 
a first aid kit.]


Okay lewis you had a good newsletter going on with the nipple 
clamps what the hell happen to them?  People want nipple 
clamps! And where the hell is part three to your book? stop 
making us wait for it.
[I'm not sure what to tell you about the nipple clamps, but 
Bizarre News III isn't even on the drawing board yet. I still 
have about 1,200 copies of II left and the boss won't even 
talk about green-lighting a third book until I sell out the 
last one. By the way...you can read more about it by clicking 
the link at the bottom on this page.]


So have any studies been done on what a woman checks out on 
a man?  I find myself always staring at their hands, partic-
ularly their fingers.  What does it mean? -Dianna
[You're a manicurist?]


------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------


Well, that is a wrap for Classic Bizarre News. How did we do? 
Send comments and questions to: 
Email Lewis
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