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Publication: Classic Bizarre
Bizarre Toilets

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<<<<<<<<<<< From the Bizarre News Archives >>>>>>>>>>>>          

          CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS - Friday, November 17, 2006           
"A wild journey into the history of the most bizarre stories EVER."
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Greetings Fellow Bizarros:

Since I sprained my ankle this weekend when I slipped in the 
baby oil all over the bathroom floor, I have spent a lot of 
time sitting around surfing the Internet. One of the items 
that caught my attention was an article on bizarre toilets. 
It has become a trend recently for businesses like bars, 
restaurants and hotels to build more entertaining and even 
interactive bathroom facilities. 

For instance, in South Beach, Florida's Pelican Hotel they 
have turned the washroom into the watch room, with four 
seven-inch color television screens built into the wall 
directly above the urinals. Often on the toilet tube: the 
Fishing Channel. "The bathroom is always a weird place for 
men. It can be embarrassing," the hotel manager said. "We 
give you something else to look at instead of your neighbor."

This, however, is one of the tamer ideas. The owner of a 
small chain of ice cream parlors (of all places) in Boca 
Raton and West Palm Beach has installed a special and very 
expensive glass on the doors of all of his bathroom stalls. 
The glass is completely clear until you turn the door latch. 
Within seconds, the glass fogs up and becomes opaque to give 
the user privacy. Of course, there is always the occasional 
user who doesn't turn the latch all the way. 

Owner Sloan Kamenstein said the $15,000 (per bathroom) glass 
has paid for itself. "People come in just to see the toilet 
and end up buying ice cream."

An honorable mention must go to the women's restroom at the 
Forge in Miami Beach. The entire facility is an air-conditioned 
bird cage with live lovebirds and finches. They say women 
frequently drag their dates inside just to see it. 

But the award for most unique idea must go to the Liquid night 
club. They have built, in-between the men's and women's 
washrooms, a giant saltwater fish tank. You can see almost 
everything, even the men standing at the urinals (from the 
chest up) and the women washing up, checking their makeup, 
and stuffing a little extra tissue paper into their bras. 
The fish tank does not extend, thankfully, behind the stalls. 

This is not the first time I've heard some of these ideas. 
The last time I was at TZ's house I noticed they had a para-
keet in the bathroom. When I asked his wife about this she 
said she keeps the little guy in there as a safety precaution. 
If the bird is dead after TZ leaves the bathroom she knows 
it's time to fumigate the house. 

Bizarrely,

Lewis


P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Classic Bizarre forum. Check it out here...
Classic Bizarre Forum
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---------------- Forger Needs Reality Check ----------------

NEBRASKA - Do you remember the counter-feiter who made his 
own "Plotinum" credit cards? He's not nearly as clever as 
23-year-old Curtis Boyd who invented his own bank in order 
to pass counterfeit checks. Boyd purchased a check-making 
program from OfficeMax and began making his own checks. 
When the bank wouldn't cash his first $22 million check 
(that's right, $22,000,000) Boyd tried again with a $20,000 
check, this time drawn from the "Reality Perspective Bank" 
which Boyd made up himself, using own his apartment as the 
bank's address. It didn't take police long to track him down. 

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--------- Man Aroused by Police Sirens Sets Fires ----------

THAILAND - A Thai man admits to being sexually aroused by
the sound of sirens from police cars, fire trucks, and
ambulances. Inspired by the sexy sirens, he set several cars
on fire. After nonchalantly buying a beer, he called the
police on himself, hoping to hear the sirens. The man had
an orgasm as the flashing lights and sirens came closer
and closer to the scene. After reaching climax, he casually
got in a car and attempted to flee the area. A nearby 
witness saw him enter the car and reported him to the police.
After being arrested, the arsonist confessed to setting fire
to two trucks and another car the same day. It doesn't end
there. Police reported that the man had already served a
two-year jail sentence for similar charges in the past. 
When he was released from jail the first time, he became
a volunteer firefighter. 


-- Woman Stores Husband's Dead Body in Fridge for 4 Years --

JAPAN - When a property company was hired to help a Japanese 
woman move to a new house, they had no idea they were also 
helping her transport her husband's dead body. When workers 
found human remains in the refrigerator, they immediately 
called the police. It turns out that the woman allegedly 
killed her husband in November of 1997 and stored his decom-
posing body in the refrigerator. Her in-laws reported her 
husband missing the same year. The 40-year-old woman has 
been arrested on suspicion of murder, and investigators are 
still unsure how she killed her spouse. 

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----- "In-Store Theatre" Coming Soon: Shouting Butter ------

UNITED STATES - The unsuspecting grocery shopper is in for a 
bit of a surprise soon at American stores. In an effort to 
gain the consumer's attention, a motion-sensor chip will 
trigger a digital sound device as he or she passes Parkay
margarine. The device will shout, "Butter!" But that's not
all, folks. In addition to the attention-grabbing holler,
another chip will make the tubs of margarine jiggle about. 
A Parkay spokesperson explains its logic: most shoppers have
a "get in and get out" mentality. The shouting and wiggling 
tubs of margarine will no doubt make them pause for a minute. 
And that momentary pause might be enough to sway the consumer 
to make an impulse buy. The spokesperson called the new device 
"a major in-store piece of theatre."
[While the rest of us call it a damned annoyance.]


---- Woman Sues After Receiving Osama bin Laden Haircut ----

HONG KONG, China - A woman hoping for Julia Roberts hair 
entered a salon in Hong Kong and came out looking like Osama 
bin Laden. At least that is what she claimed. In an attempt
to sue the salon for compensation, Chu Ieu said in court that
not only did she not end up with hair like Roberts, but "It
was like a broom. It was horrible. I looked like Osama bin 
Laden." Adjudicator Yuen Chun-kau dismissed the case. He told 
the woman, "You've only shown the court that the hairstyle 
did not look good." Exasperated, Ieu claimed the judge's 
indifference was because he was bald. She refused to leave 
the courtroom and had to be taken away by ambulance after an 
hour-long standoff.


Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world   
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural.  Get The   
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..   
Bizarre Uncensored 


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Sorry, Lewis. That is a zamboni. Spumoni is a great Italian 
dessert. Perhaps you knew that? --Dee 
[That must be why I always get weird looks from the servers 
in Italian restaurants.]


Your column gives a whole new meaning to "inbox."


If you place a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will 
instantly go mad and sting itself to death. This fact may 
prove to be lifesaving should one ever be confronted with a 
rabid scorpion in a bar.
[Thanks for the tip.] 


You show me a Phillipine contortionist and I'll show you a 
Manilla folder.


where can i subscribe to the great sexpectations newsletter?
  --nicki
[You can subscribe to all of our publications including Great 
Sexpectations at http://www.shagmail.com ]


The idea of a vibrator for pigs has been around for years. 
Just ask Kermit.


Lewis, I've remained silent too long! I must speak my mind 
about the outrageous, horrific, and depraved stuff you keep 
sending to me! Keep it up! You are the best thing in my in-
box every day. --Don


Hi Lewis! I love your newsletter, but reading about some 
twisted farmer trying get his pigs off with a vibrator is 
something I could have done without.  Thanks for the 
nausiating morning. -Abbey
[Nausiating? Maybe. Bizarre? Definetly.]


Lewis, I don't believe there is a shortage of news for you 
to report, but your reporting is getting less and less. Is 
it because your wife has you on a short lease these days?
  --Lisa
[A short leash? No, we don't get into that.]


Hey Lewis, We've found a new use for Alka-Seltzer. That 
effervescent tablet in the right spot puts a whole new 
meaning to "tingling sensation". Love bizzare news. -Nancy
[I appreciate the suggestion but after last weekend I'm a 
little burned out on experimenting. Maybe next week.]


------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------

Well, that is a wrap for Classic Bizarre News. How did we do? 
Send comments and questions to: mailto:  
Email Lewis
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