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Publication: Classic Bizarre
Gunning Down Stray Cattle

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          CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS - Tuesday, November 13, 2006           
"A wild journey into the history of the most bizarre stories EVER."
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          GopherCentral's Question of the Week
          
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Greetings Fellow Bizarros:

Here's a tid bit I just read on the Sacramento Bee's web 
page. It seems that the California Highway Patrol, in an 
effort to protect life and property, have begun gunning 
down stray cattle that wander too near the highways. An 
angry cattle owner in Santa Maria complained Monday there 
was no reason for Highway Patrol officers to gun down six 
heifer cows that escaped their grazing site and loitered 
for hours near coastal Highway 1.

Reportedly, officers tried to find the cattle's owner for 
three hours before opening fire. "They didn't have to shoot 
'em," complained owner Albert Silva. "Would they have shot 
them if there was 20 head of cattle?" You can understand his 
consternation. Silva said the cattle were worth about $700 
each.

He makes a good point, though. A cow wandering onto an ex-
pressway could cause a very serious accident, but at what 
point does it cease to be a public safety issue and turn 
into a wholesale slaughter? 

I'm not necessarily saying it was a right or wrong thing to 
do. It just occurs to me that last month I was watching a 
program on The Animal Planet about a rescue that was mounted 
to dig a puppy out of a storm drain. The dog had become stuck 
about 20 yards into the drain and rescue workers had to dig 
a tunnel six feet down to the pipe, which they then had to 
break open with sledgehammers, in order to reach the pup. 

In one part of the country they are spending hundreds of man 
hours rescuing puppies and in Cali they're dropping cattle 
on the side of the road with semi-automatic weapons. I think 
we need to set some priorities. 

Bizarrely,

Lewis


P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Classic Bizarre forum. Check it out here...
Classic Bizarre Forum


+--------------- Bizarre International Laws ---------------+ 

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------ Horny Dolphin Becomes Major Tourist Attraction ------

LONDON - Swimmers have been warned to stay away from a sex-
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----------- Gay Rodeo Features Goats in Bikinis ------------

Utah State Fairpark was host last week to the third annual 
Gay Pride Rodeo. This is an opportunity for homosexuals from 
a rural background to feel open and comfortable about their 
orientation while harassing farm animals. And just to make 
things interesting the rodeo featured, along with the usual 
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------- Crazy Cocaine Smugglers Crack Under Pressure ------- 

BOGATA, Columbia - A group of drug runners may have been 
sampling too much of their own product when they dumped 
millions of dollars worth of cocaine into the ocean, stripped 
off their clothes, doused themselves with gasoline and then 
rammed a U.S. Navy vessel with their speedboat. Officials 
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-- Crime Victims Becoming Inconvenience for Cal Shoppers ---

SANTA CRUZ, Calif. - "Pretty callous" is how the Santa Cruz 
police chief describes it. Convenience store surveillance 
tapes show a man being shot in the back of the head in what 
police believe was a gang dispute. But before police arrived 
on the scene business continued as usual. The tapes showed 
customers continuing their shopping while the victim was on 
the floor, even stepping over the dying man to get to the 
counter. The man later died at a hospital.
[Thanks to azcentral.com for this disturbing story.]


--- Newest Advancement in Technology: Vibrators for Pigs ---

BELGIUM - Inspired by human sex toys, a Belgian company has
invented the first vibrator for pigs. The creators of the
MS Reflexator thought the pleasant vibrations would make the
artificial insemination process more enjoyable for the animals.
The vibrator is connected with a tube to a syringe with the
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<


Lewis, YOU are the reason I have a computer. You're totally 
bizarre! 
[And YOU are the reason I have a job. You keep reading and 
I'll keep writing.]


Lewis, in your listing of June dates, you posted repeat day 
twi--ohhhh, I get it!  Ha ha ha! Seriously, though, that was 
pretty clever.  A 5 cent piece is spelled "nickel," however.
[Thanks for the correction.]


Hey Lew...what happened to tz?
[We're not sure, but we think it's congenital.] 


A woman phoned a breast cancer screening hotline and asked 
if she needed to make an appointment to visit one of the 
mobile screening vans or if she could just go up to it, 
knock on the door, and be taken right away. The response 
was that given the nature of the van, knockers were welcome.
[That's my motto.] 


I can just imagine..."So, like, in the beginning, this God 
dude created the heaven and the earth.  And the Earth was, 
like, shapeless and all..."  Is that what the Surfer's Bible 
is like?
[Totally.]


A zombie? Isn't that what they use on ice hockey rinks! -Norm
[Sorry, Norm. That's a Spumoni.]


Great issue, Lewis (of course, they all are!)  I've partici-
pated in 4 out of 5 of your "pointers," do I get anything for 
that? --Mel
[Penicillin?]


I loved your sex tips!  I immediately e-mailed them to my 
husband (since he spends more time on his computer than on 
me.) --Janis
[So once again it's the man's responsibility to initiate, is 
that it? You know, there's no reason you can't come home with 
a bottle of baby oil and a roll of breath mints.]


Lewis, All I have to say is, "Use the mints." --Maggie
[Spoken like a true adventurer.]


I can't get enough bizarre news! My hubby says I am addicted! 
Thanks for the fun.  --linda
[You're not alone, Linda. There's a support group for people 
just like you. They meet online every Wednesday and Saturday 
morning...]


------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Classic Bizarre News. How did we do? 
Send comments and questions to: 
Email Lewis
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END OF CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS
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