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Why Are Divorces So Expensive?

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         BIZARRE NEWS - Saturday, July 26, 2008
 "Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Remember the old gag about divorce being so expensive because 
it's worth it? Now you can say the same thing about being en-

A Gainesville, Georgia woman has successfully sued her ex-
fiance after he called off their wedding. A jury ruled it 
was a breach of contract and ordered him to pay $150,000 in 

Rosemary Shell holds a large, glittering engagement ring in 
her hands. She no longer wears it on her ring finger, but 
instead keeps it in the box it came in. She says it's a 
reminder of what could have been. 

"He changed his mind for no good reason," said Shell. 

Or, perhaps his reason was that he realized he was about to 
marry a woman who would sue him for breaking up with her. 

Shell says when Wayne Gibbs, her ex-fiance, said he wasn't 
interested in marriage she moved to Pensacola, Florida and 
started a lucrative new job earning $81,000 a year. Then 
Gibbs showed up. 

"He asked me to marry him. He gave me a ring and I gave up 
my career and I came back to Gainesville. He told me he 
would pay my bills, that we would be married by the holidays 
and we would live happily ever after. I believed him," said 

But two days before the wedding, she says Gibbs left her a 
goodbye note saying he couldn't go through with the wedding. 
He also wrote her a $5,000 dollar check. She says she tore 
up both and instead sued him for breach of contract. 

"He callously allowed her to quit her job, move back and 
into his house where she had no income and then after a 
couple of months he just put her out on the streets and 
said 'you know you're on your own'," said District Attorney 
Lydia Sartain. 

To tell you the truth, both of these people sound like idiots. 
I think they would have been perfect for each other. 



P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out here...
Bizarre News Forum

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+-------------------- Bizarre Phobias ---------------------+
Coprophobia - Fear of Feces 

Dextrophobia - Fear of objects at the right side of the 

Alektorophobia - Fear of chickens. 

Olfactophobia - Fear of smells.  

Anablephobia - Fear of looking up. 

Phronemophobia - Fear of thinking.  

Tonsurphobia - Fear of haircuts.

Anthophobia - Fear of roses.


-------- Judge: Girl's name a 'social disability' ---------

NEW PLYMOUTH, New Zealand - A New Zealand Family Court 
judge has removed a 9-year-old girl from her parents' 
custody after her name was revealed as Talula Does The 
Hula From Hawaii. Family Court Judge Rob Murfitt ruled 
at the hearing in the city of New Plymouth for the child 
to be temporarily placed under the guardianship of the 
court to allow for a name to be chosen that doesn't give 
the girl a "social disability," the Taranaki Daily News 
reported Friday. "It makes a fool of the child and sets 
her up with a social disability and handicap," he said 
of the name. The court was told the girl, whose birth 
was not officially registered in New Zealand, refused 
to tell her name to her friends. 

Carol Burnett's Gone With The Wind Spoof...

You're in for a REAL treat today. If you want to take a 
couple of minutes, I guarantee you'll have a smile on 
your face. Do you remember the Carol Burnett spoof of 
Gone With The Wind called Went With The Wind? 

If you do, then you know how hilarious it is and you laugh 
all over again... if you've never seen it then get ready to 
laugh, laugh, and laugh some more. 

The clip you'll see is from hands down one of the funniest 
(and most complete) DVD comedy collections ever put 
together. What we've done, aside from getting a special 
discount, is taken one of the funniest moments in TV ever 
and put it on the site for you to watch. 

To watch the video on Carol Burnett or order the DVD 
Collection (10 hours of hilarious footage) visit: 
Carol Burnett's Spoof of Gone With The Wind

-------- Smoking man ticketed in 'workplace' van ---------

LLANAFAN, Wales - A Welsh man said he was ticketed for 
smoking in his privately owned van because officials 
consider it a workplace under the law. Gordon Williams, 
58, a self-employed decorator from Llanafan, Wales, said 
he was pulled over by council officials near the city of 
Aberystwyth and issued a fixed penalty notice for smoking 
in a workplace -- despite his insistence that the van was 
not a place of business, The Telegraph reported. "I was 
on my way to a shop to buy some tea bags when the council 
official pulled me over," Williams said. "But I was told 
that because my van is my place of work I had broken the 
smoking laws." Williams said he plans to fight the fine 
in court. "It's not my place of work -- I decorate houses 
not vans," he said. "I don't use it for work so I can't 
see how they can do me for smoking in the workplace." 

----------- Swedish company pulls baby bikini ------------

STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Swedish clothing company Ellos has 
pulled two-piece bikinis designed for baby girls and 
apologized for the products after widespread protests. 
The bikinis, which were designed for girls as young as 
2 months old, were pulled from stores after children's 
and women's groups complained that the revealing swimwear 
contributed to the sexualization of the bodies of small 
children, Swedish news agency TT reported. "Ellos is a 
family company. We do not want anyone taking offense 
from our assortment," Ellos representative Per-Olf 
Gustafsson said. "We have erred in this case and we will 
do our best to ensure that there is no repeat." 

Amazing Perfect Peeler Saves You Time

Normal Price: $9.99
Get two for $7.98

You probably saw this on TV selling for $19.99... well 
actually you got two for that price, so the effective 
price was $9.99 each.

We made a deal direct with the company who puts them out 
and we've discounted it to just above cost. We want to 
sell them all. In fact you can get one for $4.99 or two 
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Built-in corer removes potato eyes fast & easy... and it's 
easy to clean. Check It Out By Visiting: 

--------- Woman has Mona Lisa mowed into her lawn ----------

LONDON - A British art-lover said she hired a 3D art expert 
to create an all-grass reproduction of the Mona Lisa on her 
home's lawn. Tania Ledger, 48, of London, called on expert 
Chris Naylor, who recreated the Mona Lisa for the film "The 
Da Vinci Code," to complete a similar work of lawn art, The 
Telegraph reported. Naylor said he spent two days chopping 
and snipping away at Ledger's lawn with garden tools and 
a lawn mower to create the grass image of the Mona Lisa. 
Ledger said she doesn't mind that the masterpiece will grow 
out over time. "It's like a haircut -- if you don't like it 
you can grow it out and you can try out as many new looks 
as you like," she told the newspaper. 

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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world 
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural.  Get The 
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..  
Bizarre Uncensored


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Lewis, Regarding those fish pedicures with the garra rufa 
fish:  If they used Japanese blowfish instead, would that 
constitute a "blow job"? -jack in MI

Ok, what's the point of putting a brick in your gas tank? 
It makes no sense!  You're not saving yourself any gas by 
removing the available space to put gas in a gas tank by 
adding the brick.  You're merely wasting space that could 
be taken up by the gas that should go into your tank. Your 
car will still use the exact same amount of gas per mile, 
only, now, you won't be able to go as far.  If President 
Bush suggested this, I'd say he’s a flat-out idiot.
 -Joseph in TX
[I see humor has died in Texas along with personal hygiene 
and education. But don't feel lonely, I received three or 
four emails similar to this.]

There is SO much wrong with this lobster thing! First, the 
Lobstermen who caught great grandpappy should have thrown 
him back in, as he was obviously one of the "fittest" that 
survived so long, and could only strengthen the species and 
help their future livelihood; Second, when the lady was 
going to return him to the ocean from whence he came... she 
needs a PERMIT?! Wow, all those catch and release fishermen 
better look over their shoulders! What kind of bureaucratic 
BS is THAT? -Pete
[I would have just eaten it.]

Been there, done that.  We have a manmade lake here in 
Michigan where you can get that full body massage treatment 
for $5 per car load (cost of admission to the county park). 
Apparently they didn't plan very well when they made the 
lake and all the smaller fish are starving so they swarm 
the swimmers.  I thought it was kinda creepy but the kids 
loved it. -Danielle
[Just don't wear loose swimming trunks, right?]

Lewis, Have you considered that just maybe, the US Govern-
ment, being the ruling body of 1/3 of the world's economy, 
actually knows what they are doing?  The higher the cost 
of gas, the more valuable the Alaskan Oil Reserve is worth! 
If the estimates are even partially true, at 1 billion 
barrels a day, and the price of oil goes to $250, then 
that's $250 billion a DAY!  If the government licenses the 
drilling rights at just 10% of that, it's still $9 trillion 
a year.  The debt would be covered in no time! -magius
[First, no, I have never considered for a moment that the 
U.S. government knows what the hell it is doing, and second, 
the TOTAL reserves are estimated to be at 10 or so billion 
barrels. A recent report issued by the Energy Information 
Administration said that if Congress gave the go-ahead to 
pump oil from Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, 
the crude could begin flowing by 2013 and reach a peak of 
876,000 barrels a day by 2025.] 

------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do? 
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis 
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