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Publication: Bizarre News
Watch Your Kids!

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         BIZARRE NEWS - Saturday, June 14, 2008
 "Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."
------------------------------------------------------------

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Kids get themselves into the craziest predicaments. You
can't take your eyes off of them for a second... especially
at the airport.

Airport workers said they were reviewing safety procedures 
after a preschool-aged child climbed onto a luggage check-
in ramp at Oslo Airport in Norway. Neither the child's 
parents nor airport workers noticed the curious youngster 
had sneaked onto the ramp until the child went through 
baggage X-ray equipment, Aftenposten reported. 

After climbing onto the ramp, the child went out of sight, 
through a chute and through scanning equipment, the report 
said. 

"It's unfortunate that a child could get into the system 
like this," ground services official Thor Hagen told 
reporters. Officials said the child was reunited with his 
parents minutes after being found and airport safety 
procedures were being reviewed. 

So the moral of the story is: keep a close eye on your 
kids or they could be on a cargo plane loaded with whoopie 
cushions headed for Peru, right now!  

Bizarrely,

Lewis

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out here...
Bizarre News Forum

All of you Bizarre News fans can now get your exclusive
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------------------------------------------------------------

+---------------------- Bizarre Laws ----------------------+
                          ILLINOIS

You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at
least one dollar bill on your person.

It is a felony offense to eavesdrop on your own
conversation.

You must contact the police before entering the city in
an automobile.

The English language is not to be spoken.

Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.

It is an offense to feed whiskey to a dog.

It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as
long as you are under seventeen years of age and have
legal permits.

It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs,
cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.

                             ***

--------- Police: Forklift thief didn't get far ----------

BOYNTON BEACH, Fla. - Police in Boynton Beach, Fla., said
a suspected forklift thief was arrested after he was caught
driving the vehicle about one mile from where it was stolen.
Investigators said Todd Barnes, 44, allegedly drove the
21,600-pound vehicle from a construction site and traveled
about one mile before he was stopped by officers, the Palm
Beach (Fla.) Post reported. He was charged with grand
larceny, trespassing on a construction site and driving
with a suspended license.

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-------- Couple apologizes for having sex in church --------

CESENA, Italy - A woman and man in Italy said they have
apologized to church authorities for having oral sex in
a cathedral confession box. The couple requested a meeting
with Cesena Archbishop Antonio Lanfranchi to say they were
sorry for their indecent behavior, ANSA reported Wednesday.
The man, 31, and woman, 32, are facing charges of indecency
and the bishop had to hold a purification ceremony in the
church as a result of the Sunday morning incident, the
report said. The pair's lawyer said the bishop accepted the
couple's apology after their Tuesday meeting. The lawyer
said the amorous couple ''felt better'' after ''getting it
off their chests" and he would appeal for leniency, claim-
ing the defendants were "very drunk" after going to a rock
concert.


----------- Burglar came back for dropped phone ------------

PRESTON, England - Police in Preston, England, arrested
a burglar after he returned to the scene of the crime and
told the victim he had dropped his cell phone. Investigators
said Stuart Gardner, 30, dropped his phone while searching
the home of Peter Diamond, 74, for cash, The Daily Telegraph
reported Thursday. Gardner, who police said left the home
empty handed, returned to the house a short time after
breaking in and spoke with Diamond. "I'm the person who
broke in. Can I have my mobile phone back," Diamond quoted
Gardner as saying. "I couldn't believe his cheek. He had
some front to come back," Diamond said. Police arrested
Gardner after taking a statement from Diamond and traveling
to the scene of another burglary nearby. They said Gardner
was found with a sack of stolen goods and admitted to
police that he had committed the burglaries. Gardner
pleaded guilty to three counts of burglary and one count
of theft. He was sentenced to three years and three months
imprisonment.

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--------- Lawyers told to report sleeping judges ----------

TORONTO - A Canadian court has dismissed an appeal because
lawyers failed to report a Toronto judge repeatedly nodded
off asleep during the original trial. The appeal involved
a 2006 dispute between small film production company and
a group of financiers accused of backing down on their
promises, the Toronto Star said. After a one-day trial,
Justice William Somers ruled in favor of the film company
and awarded a $1 million settlement. However, court
affidavits show the financiers' rookie lawyer noted the
judge "dozed off frequently" for short periods during the
hearing and yet decided to wait to see how the ruling went.
In the appeal ruling, Justice Jean MacFarland chastised
the lawyer and overturned the appeal, the Star said. "While
the appellants' trial counsel was not experienced... the
record discloses that she did consult with senior litigation
counsel in her firm about the judge's inattention,"
MacFarland wrote. "Counsel was obliged to bring the trial
judge's inattention to him at the time."

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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural.  Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E.. 
Bizarre Uncensored

------------------------------------------------------------

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Lewis: Right you are about tasers not being "electric 
night sticks." Here in Vancouver a lot of taser abuse 
has come to light recently, including the tasing of 
people without tickets who choose to run from the Transit 
Police! The worst incident was a confused Polish man 
who got lost at the airport and started getting agitated 
10 hours after he arrived. When he didn't answer police 
commands made in English, they zapped him several times 
and he died. Too often cops use tasers just so they don't 
their hands dirty! -Wendy
[Hey, I was in a band called "electric night sticks." We 
were a Electric Light Orchestra tribute band.] 


Here is some advertising to add: Margee's Margarine - 
Slather it on your butt at night and it will make you 
smarter. It works for her. -John 
[Seek help from a licensed professional, sir.] 


Lewis: What is wrong about riding a horse to school? At 
one time in my life I attended a school where many of the 
students rode a horse or pony to school. This was a country 
one room school with grades from first to eighth and many 
of the kids lived on the surrounding ranches. The school 
even provided a hitching rack and water for the horses. 
Also some of the students had rifles in a scabbard attached 
to the saddles. Different times and different places create 
different customs and laws I guess. -John
[What was that about a rack?] 

------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
------------------------------------------------------------
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