Home | Newest Editions | Most Popular Issues | Free Newsletters | Forums

Custom Search
Publication: Bizarre News
That's Just Good TV

Subscribe FREE to Bizarre News by clicking here.



          BIZARRE NEWS - Saturday, May 10, 2008
 "Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."
------------------------------------------------------------
All of you Bizarre News fans can now get your exclusive
Bizarre News coffee mug. Supplies are limited so order yours
today for just $2.99! Official Bizarre News Mug
------------------------------------------------------------

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

I have been trying to drum up interest around the office
for a new reality television series I read about recently.
What do you think, folks, would you be interested in
watching a TV show about the GopherCental offices?

The producers of the new British reality show "Naked Office"
say they are hunting for companies willing to have their
employees shed their clothes.

Producers said the show, set for broadcast on BBC3, will
first interview office employees to establish their thoughts
on the subject of nudity. Then, over the course of several
weeks, some will be asked to participate in life-drawing
classes to help them become accustomed to public nakedness.

The show will climax (pardon the expression) with employees
being asked to participate in a "Naked Friday" event at the
office. The producers said in a letter inviting companies
to participate that the nude work day would be a "very pro-
ductive day as well as a day to remember."

The purpose of the program is to analyze attitudes toward
nudity, body image and the role of clothing in office hier-
archy, the producers said.

So far, the only other person I have been able to get in-
terested in writing these guys a letter to ask if they want
to do an American version is TZ. What do you folks think?

Bizarrely,

Lewis

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out here...
Bizarre News Forum

------------------------------------------------------------

+----------- Bizarre Excuses for Missing School -----------+

[These are actual excuse notes from parents (including
original spelling) from some schools in Texas.]

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E.
today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.
He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been
bothered by very close veins.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose
vowels.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in
bed with gramps.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had
diarrhea and his boots leak.

                             ***

-------- Retiree cleared of finger-biting charge ---------

MAIDENHEAD, England - An elderly British woman said she
is glad the truth is out since she was found innocent of
biting off her neighbor's finger during a spat about
flowers. Pamela Fox, 66, was accused of biting off the
finger of Marija Andric, 51, in a fit of rage concerning
her garden, the Daily Telegraph reported Thursday. Andric
said Fox banged on her door and accused her of ruining
flowers along the border separating their Maidenhead,
England, homes -- before biting off her finger and running
away. Fox was cleared of the finger-biting charge when
Reading Crown Court unanimously acquitted her of one count
of grievous bodily harm. "God knows the truth and the truth
has been proved," Fox said on her way out of the courtroom.
Defense counsel David Povall said Andric's finger was
severed in a separate incident during the day.

------------------------------------------------------------
DIGITAL DESKTOP WEATHER STATION

Normal Price: $19.99
OUR PRICE: $9.99
Get two for $13.98

Check current weather conditions right from your desktop
with the Digital Desktop Weather Station by Journey's
Edge.

This compact, but powerful, unit stands up on a desk or
table to display the current temperature, humidity and
moon phase and more.

Features Include:
- Displays Current Weather Conditions
- Displays The Moon Phase
- A built-in calendar displays time & date
- 12/24 hour time format
- Built-in alarm clock.
- Temperature settings: Fahrenheit & Centigrade
- Humidity Display.
- Easy to operate control buttons
- And YES, A Battery IS Included.

Get one for $9.99 or save an additional $6.00 and get
two (2) for $13.98. DIGITAL DESKTOP WEATHER STATION
------------------------------------------------------------

------------ Mom sues after kid steps in poo --------------

NORWALK, Conn. - An attorney for Norwalk, Conn., says a 
mother's suit against the city for her toddler's shoes 
being ruined by dog poo is among the most frivolous he's 
seen. City Attorney M. Jeffry Spahr said Kelly DeBrocky 
of Mahopac, N.Y., filed suit against the city April 7, 
seeking $100 compensation for her child's ruined shoes 
and tickets for Maritime Aquarium -- which the mother 
said her family had to leave early because of the incident 
-- The (Stamford, Conn.) Advocate reported Thursday. "I 
had to read it twice," Spahr said. "Immediately, what I 
did was say, 'You're not going to believe this one.' It 
was hilarious. What are these people thinking about? Just 
when you think you've heard it all." DeBrocky defended he 
suit. "I was just really skeeved, I thought the whole thing 
was disgusting," she said. "We had to pay for admission 
to the aquarium and my son had no shoes and it made the 
entire experience awful." "The official response is her 
claim is denied and poop happens," said Spahr. 


----------- Diamond ring found floating in bay -------------

SAN FRANCISCO - A 12-year-old boy and his family said they 
were searching for the owner of a diamond ring found float-
ing in the San Francisco Bay. Joe Carter said he saw some-
thing floating in the water that appeared to be a charcoal 
briquette while he was boating Sunday with his father, the 
San Francisco Chronicle reported. However, when the boy 
took the item out of the water, he discovered it was a 
Macy's jewelry box containing a diamond ring -- complete 
with price tag. "Romance Princess. One-quarter carat. 
Diamond Wedding Ring. $499," the tag said. Carter and 
his family said they took out a lost-and-found ad on an 
Internet bulletin board for the ring, which experts said 
is actually worth closer to $150, but no one has yet come 
forward to claim the item. "I think it would be pretty sad 
to be someone reaching into your pocket for a diamond ring 
and find out it's not there," the boy said. "I hope I can 
find whoever that person is. That would be great." 

------------------------------------------------------------
FLEXI MIRROR
The Ultimate 5X Magnifying Mirror...

Retail Price: $14.99
DEAL PRICE: $7.99

This 2-sided high quality optical mirror turns from normal
size to extra big 5X optically correct magnification,
allowing you to apply make-up, pluck facial hair, tweeze
eyebrows, check lips and teeth, apply ointments, or perform
other beauty rituals easily and accurately without glasses
or contacts.

A sturdy satin-lined black vinyl carrying case with Velcro
closure for travel or storage is included free.

This lightweight mirror has a long (27 inch) versatile
flexible arm that can hook around your neck for close work,
or bend into any shape stand to fit bath, sink or bedside.
You can even hang it up in the car for last minute makeup
checks.

Combining standard and 5x magnification sides, the 2-sided
mirror has a polished finish lightweight plastic frame and
is shatter and rust resistant. The flexible gooseneck arm
stores neatly around the outside just like the string
around a yo-yo. Overall size is seven (7) inch diameter.
The Ultimate 5X Magnifying Mirror
------------------------------------------------------------

--------- Man found sleeping in jet at airport -----------

ST. LOUIS - A spokesman for Lambert-St. Louis International 
Airport in Missouri said a man found sleeping in a parked 
jet had walked through a manned security checkpoint. 
Airport spokesman Jeff Lea said the man -- who was 
discovered sleeping during a routine check of the jet at 
about 6:40 a.m. Wednesday -- apparently walked through the 
exit side of a vehicle checkpoint while officers staffing 
the checkpoint were busy on the entrance side, the St. 
Louis Post-Dispatch reported. "There was a breakdown in 
this layer of security," Airport Police Chief Paul Mason 
said. Mason said the man told investigators he was at the 
airport to try to find a truck driver willing to give him 
a ride to Chicago and ducked inside the jet to escape from 
the rain. The police chief said the man, who officers 
planned to charge with trespassing, did not have any 
sinister motives for sneaking onto the jet. "This guy had 
no intention to do anything wrong," Mason said. 

------------------------------------------------------------
Multi-Functional Digital Camera/Camcorder

Normal Price: $149.99
DEAL PRICE: $69.99

This Multi-Function Camcorder HAS IT ALL!

This 3.1 Mega-Pixel Digital Camcorder is fantastic for
making home videos and more. It can take awesome pictures
or you can record the action with full audio so you won't
miss a thing. After you've recorded your masterpiece into
the camera, plug straight into the TV and watch it or
download it to your computer with the included USB cable.

FEATURES:
- Small, Lightweight, and Compact Design
- Digital Video, DSC, and PC Camera
- Digital Voice Recorder
- Easy To Use Controls
- Color TFT 1.5" LCD Display Monitor
- 3.1 Mega Pixels Software Resolution
- Audio/Video Out For TV
- SD & MMC Memory Card Supported (Not Included)
- Windows 98 SE/ME/2000/XP Compatible

INCLUDES: DV182 Camcorder, Camera Bag, USB Cable,
AV Cable Strap, Installation CD, Three (3) pieces of
Software and User Guide.

This makes a wonderful first camcorder that is compact and
easy to carry. You'll love it... it's easy to use too!
Multi-Functional Digital Camera/Camcorder
------------------------------------------------------------

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural.  Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

------------------------------------------------------------

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I just have to say that out of the few newsletters I sub-
scribe to from gopher, yours is by far the best edited and
I'm so proud you know how to use spell check.  It drives
me insane to read the others and if there are not misspelled
words there are grammatical errors, and so on.  I mean, does
no one check these articles before they are sent out? -cassie
[I appreciate the kudos, cassie. I'll let the other editors
know they're all slackers.]


You know, the sad part is that those laws wouldn't exist
were it not for the fact that somebody *did* it and some-
body else objected to it. -Steve
[What? Like you've never had sexual relations with a porcu-
pine in Florida.]


Hi Lewis, The readers comments (and your responses) for
5/7/08 were the best in a while. I just knew someone was
going to miss the sarcasm about the fugitive lady. Love
your column, Jen
[And for just how long before 5/7 have I been sucking, Jen?]


All those bees Lewis....why can't they all beehave? -dEb


Hey Lewis, The Florida law about it being illegal to kiss
your wife's breasts, do you suppose it would also be illegal
to kiss somebody else's wife's breasts? -Brian
[There is an old saying which goes, it's only illegal if you
get caught.]

------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
------------------------------------------------------------
                **--- BIZARRE PHOTO ---**
Looking for an image that will burn into your psyche forever?
Find the Bizarre photo of the week at: Bizarre News
************************************************************

Not Enough Bizarre In This Issue?
Then Visit EVTV1.com: Bizarre Videos

ARCHIVE LINK: Bizarre News Archives

------------------------------------------------------------
MORE FUN, AMUSEMENT AND PUBS: More F-R-E-E Newsletters Here

FOR INTERVIEWS: Radio Interviews
------------------------------------------------------------

END OF BIZARRE NEWS
http://www.bizarrenews.com
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

E-Mail this issue
Subscribe FREE to Bizarre News by clicking here.

The Bizarre News Forum
un-subscribe
LEWIS YOU IDIOT!!
I THINK BRITNEY IS ILL
View this Forum | Post a topic to this forum




Scare Tactics - Little Demon Man

Watch It Now

Seven Deadly Smurfs (Mature)

Watch It Now

Amazing Air Feat

Watch It Now

Giant Crab Scene from Mysterious Island

Watch It Now

Home | Newest Editions | Most Popular Issues | Free Newsletters