Publication: Bizarre News
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BIZARRE NEWS - Saturday, May 17, 2008
"Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."
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Have you seen the new show called "Are you smarter than a
5th grader?" I was reading about it online and looked up a
sample quiz to annoy you with. I listed the answers for you
below.
1. What is the fastest bird on foot?
A. Flamingo
B. Penguin
C. Emu
D. Ostrich
E. Turkey
2. What planet is closest to the sun?
A. Venus
B. Earth
C. Mercury
D. Mars
E. Jupiter
3. Which of the following is NOT one of the Great Lakes?
A. Alberta
B. Huron
C. Michigan
D. Ontario
E. Superior
4. A heptagon is a shape with how many sides?
A. 4
B. 6
C. 7
D. 8
E. 9
5. How long is one regular term for a U.S. Representative?
A. 1 year
B. 2 years
C. 3 years
D. 4 years
E. 6 years
6. What is the compound word in this sentence? -- The bus
driver took an alternate route to the airport.
A. Driver
B. Alternate
C. Route
D. Airport
7. Which of the following states is NOT on the Gulf of
Mexico?
A. Georgia
B. Texas
C. Florida
D. Alabama
E. Louisiana
8. What is the lowest prime number?
A. 0
B. 1
C. 2
D. 3
E. 5
9. On what continent is the chimpanzee's natural habitat?
A. South America
B. Asia
C. Africa
D. Australia
10. What is the largest South American country by area?
A. Argentina
B. Brazil
C. Chile
D. Mexico
E. Peru
11. Which one of the following states is NOT part of the
Four Corners?
A. New Mexico
B. Utah
C. Colorado
D. Nevada
E. Arizona
12. Who was the first person to step foot on the moon?
A. Neil Armstrong
B. Edwin 'Buzz' Aldrin
C. John Glenn
D. Sally Ride
E. Alan Shepard
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. I got a 79 percent.
You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out here...
Bizarre News Forum
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+---------------- 5th Grader Quiz Answers -----------------+
1. What is the fastest bird on foot?
Answer: Ostrich
2. What planet is closest to the sun?
Answer: Mercury
3. Which of the following is NOT one of the Great Lakes?
Answer: Alberta
4. A heptagon is a shape with how many sides?
Answer: 7
5. How long is one regular term for a U.S. Representative?
Answer: 2 years
6. What is the compound word in this sentence? -- The bus
driver took an alternate route to the airport.
Answer: Airport
7. Which of the following states is NOT on the Gulf of
Mexico?
Answer: Georgia
8. What is the lowest prime number?
Answer: 2
9. On what continent is the chimpanzee's natural habitat?
Answer: Africa
10. What is the largest South American country by area?
Answer: Brazil
11. Which one of the following states is NOT part of the
Four Corners?
Answer: Nevada
12. Who was the first person to step foot on the moon?
Answer: Neil Armstrong
***
--------- 'Darth Vader' spared jail after attack ----------
HOLYHEAD, Wales - A Welsh judge has spared a man who
dressed as "Star Wars" villain Darth Vader and attacked
two fans of the iconic film series a stay in jail. Arwel
Wynne Hughes, 27, was sentenced to two months in jail,
suspended for a year, after his lawyer told the court he
is an alcoholic who does not remember the incident and
is undergoing treatment for his addiction, Sky News
reported. Hughes donned a black cape and a black trash bag
before attacking Barney Jones, founder of the first British
Jedi church, and his cousin while they were filming them-
selves battling with lightsabers in Jones' yard. Hughes
struck Jones with a metal crutch and punched the other
man in the thigh. The defendant's lawyer, Frances Jones,
told the court his client had no recollection of the
incident because of his alcohol addiction. "He is very
sorry for coming before the courts," the lawyer said. "He
knows his behavior was wrong and didn't want it to happen
but he has no recollection of it." Hughes was also ordered
to pay $200 to each of his victims.
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---------- Farmer: Vandals spray-painted goats ------------
CLEARFIELD, Pa. - A Clearfield County, Pa., farmer said
vandals snuck onto his property under cover of night and
spray-painted obscenities on three of his goats. Evan
Bellin said the crime, which took place during the weekend,
could set him back hundreds of dollars as the goats' wool
is used to make cashmere and the paint could take months
to grow out, WPXI-TV, Pittsburgh, reported Thursday. "It's
really bad to think they would do that to innocent animals.
I mean if they have a problem with me, to come to me. I
mean, I have all of my vehicles up here and they didn't
touch anything," Bellin said. He said he plans to keep
the goats closer to his house for the foreseeable future.
----------- N.C. judge drops cursing case -------------
DURHAM, N.C. - A Durham, N.C., judge has dismissed a case
against a 72-year-old man cited under a city code barring
use of profanity in public. Edward Laskody had planned to
fight the law, which was enacted in 1964, but Judge James
Hill dismissed the case after a key witness -- the state
Alcohol Law Enforcement officer who issued the citation --
was running late for court, The (Raleigh, N.C.) News &
Observer reported. Laskody said he used profanity outside
of Cinelli's Pizzeria and Restaurant after law enforcement
officers told him he could be cited for cursing. "I didn't
even use the F-word," he said. He said he was outside the
pizzeria to protest his alleged "rude" treatment at the
hands of store employees, who said he was far from a model
customer. "He's a nasty old man," Gaitano Cinelli, the
restaurant owner, said Wednesday. "He was making sexually
explicit remarks to my waitresses and to the patrons."
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----------- Man puts wife for sale on eBay -------------
LONDON - A British man who said he believed his wife was
cheating is under investigation for harassment after he
put her up for sale on eBay. Paul Osborn, 44, said he had
heard rumors that his wife of 24 years, Sharon, was having
an affair with a man at work, The Sun reported Thursday.
"I started checking her emails and I realized the rumors
were true," he said. "They had been discussing their sex
life together and making plans for the future. I was
absolutely destroyed. I gathered all her stuff in bags
and dumped it in the drive." Osborn told The Sun he
initially agreed to take his wife back but decided more
drastic measures were needed after he again became
suspicious. He created an eBay auction offering his
"cheating, lying, adulterous slag of a wife" to the
highest bidder. Bids reached more than $1 million. Sharon
Osborn denies cheating on her husband and has filed a
police complaint against him for harassment, the newspaper
report said.
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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
regarding the naked office...I can bring in 2 cups of coffee
and a dozen donuts.
Yours would fit through a key ring?! -Wendy
[I have a lot of keys.]
Lewis, what do the letters "MILF" stand for?
[If you're asking me, they stand for "Maybe I'll Lie down For-
awhile."]
Sorry to quibble, but... while interesting, don't you think
it's a bit of a stretch to list the popularity of "White
Christmas" as a religious fact? -Cathy
[It would be more of a stretch if it was called, "White
December 25th"]
Here's another one for your list of bizarre management quotes.
A man for whom I worked a long time ago called all of us
employee's together and he actually said: "The harder you all
work, the easier it is for me to maintain my standard of
living." He was dead serious and I think he thought he was
giving us a pep talk. --Loona
[Whatever you want to say about him you can't call him a liar.]
Because you've ignored my emails to you and don't publish
any of my comments (makes me wonder if you even bother to
read them), I find I've lost interest in you and you adver-
tising. Oh well. -Margee
[Since Margee is no longer here to read this let's all make
fun of her!]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
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