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Publication: Bizarre News
Love Is In The... Woods?

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         BIZARRE NEWS - Saturday, May 24, 2008
 "Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."
All of you Bizarre News fans can now get your exclusive
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Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Is there anything more heartwarming than young love? Or at 
least drunk love? Especially when it leads to indecency 
charges. Like this story. 

A pilot and flight attendant who went into the woods for 
a romantic encounter near a Pennsylvania airport ended up 
in court after they got separated. 

The episode apparently started with Jeffrey Bradford and 
Adrianna Connor eating dinner at a diner Sunday night near 
Harrisburg International Airport. At about 9 p.m., however, 
Robert Furlong, the Lower Swatara fire chief, allegedly 
found Connor in his sports utility vehicle. She told him 
she was looking for a flashlight to find Bradford. 

A state police helicopter equipped with heat-sensitive gear 
searched for Bradford. But he was only found after midnight 
when he emerged from the woods naked and asked a woman for 
a pair of shorts. 

Bradford and Connor appeared in court Monday morning on 
charges that included public drunkenness, loitering and 
prowling at night. Bradford was charged with indecent ex-
posure and Connor with theft from a motor vehicle. 

Both have been suspended from their jobs.

Personally, I think the whole thing is overblown. I mean, 
who hasn't gotten drunk, lost their clothes and had to 
walk up to strange women and ask for shorts? 



P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out here...
Bizarre News Forum


+---------------------- Bizarre Laws ----------------------+

It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which
lies in a funeral home or in a coroner's office.

You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by
"fightin'" words.

In Kennesaw, every head of household must possess a firearm
of some kind.

In Atlanta, One man may not be on another man's back.

Signs are required to be written in English.

No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if
it is Sunday.
In Quitman, it is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.


--------- Police: Men shot each other with Tasers ----------

BOULDER, Colo. - Police in Boulder, Colo., say a security 
guard and a man upset by having his car booted shot each 
other simultaneously with stun guns during an argument. 
Sgt. Pat Wyton said Casey Dane, a guard with a private firm 
called Colorado Security, and Harvey Epstein engaged in a 
heated argument behind Mamacitas restaurant, the Boulder 
Daily Camera reported. Epstein, a bartender at Mamacitas, 
was upset that his car had been booted for parking illegally
and retrieved a set of bolt cutters to attempt to free his 
vehicle, Wyton said. He said Dane ordered Epstein to put 
down the bolt cutters because he felt threatened and told 
him he would shoot him with his Taser weapon if he did not 
comply. Wyton said the guard "decided to shoot the guy," 
not knowing that Epstein was wielding the same type of 
Taser. "They shot each other," Wyton said. "It was just 
kind of a bone-head deal." He said neither man required 
medical attention. Epstein was arrested on suspicion of 
felony menacing and use of a stun gun, Wyton said. He was 
taken to the Boulder County Jail. 

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--------- Man buys firetruck for 'peace of mind' ----------

CHICAGO - An Illinois man said he was trying to get some
"peace of mind" when he bought a red firetruck and built
a garage for it at his suburban Chicago home. Peter
Mitchell, 59, said the 1975 Ward LaFrance pumper-tanker
he bought for $7,000 on eBay is an asset to his Schaumburg
Township neighborhood, as it could provide 1,500 gallons
of water in an emergency, the Chicago Tribune reported
Thursday. Mitchell said he also built a gravity water
system, enabling his truck or the fire department's trucks
to access water from his pool if needed. Some neighbors
are less than thrilled about Mitchell's new truck and
15-foot tall garage. "Personally, if my house caught on
fire, I wouldn't want this guy on my property. Why would
I want his dirty pool water?" Audrey Mitchell, who isn't
related to her garage-building neighbor, told the Tribune.
Despite criticism, Mitchell has stood by his truck. "The
peace of mind of having the water made my day," he said
to the newspaper.

-------- Pot-smoking man crashes into police car -----------

COCOA, Fla. - Florida motorist faces several criminal
charges after he backed into a police car and took off
running when officers caught him smoking pot, police
said. Travis Lee Taylor, 28, was arrested and charged
with possession of cocaine with intent to sell, possession
of marijuana, resisting without violence, resisting with
violence and violation of probation, WKMG-TV, Orlando,
Fla. reported Thursday. Cocoa, Fla., police said Taylor
backed his car into their cruiser after they pulled up
behind him while he was smoking pot in a parked car. After
the crash, Taylor proceeded to run from officers before
they caught him, officials told WKMG. Officials said
Taylor, who was on felony probation for selling cocaine,
also received a citation for improper driving.


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------- Naked gator man arrested for missing court --------

BARTOW, Fla. - Authorities in Polk County, Fla., said a man
who became infamous for naked encounters with alligators
has been arrested after he missed a court date. Adrian
Apgar was arrested and taken to Polk County Jail in lieu
of $1,500 bond after he failed to show up for his May 14
arraignment in Polk County Circuit Court on charges of
exposure of sexual organs, trespassing, and disorderly
conduct, the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported Thursday. The
charges stem from a March incident when sheriff's deputies
allegedly spotted Apgar walking naked through a Saddle
Creek Park pond toward an alligator. Apgar made headlines
in November 2006 when he was rescued from the jaws of an
alligator in Lake Parker. He was naked during that incident
and told rescuers that he had been taking drugs. He
sustained life-threatening injuries to his left arm, back
and buttocks. He was hospitalized for several months while
recovering from the injuries.

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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural.  Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E.. 
Bizarre Uncensored


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Lewis, I read in the news today that police found an un-
identified man's body in a park in your area. They describe 
him as having a Beer Belly, Saggy Balls, Wrinkly Ass and a 
Small Dick. Are you okay? 
[I don't have a wrinkly ass.]

Say Lewis, You and I seem to have a lot in common. I never 
heard a boob story I didn't like either. However, the phony 
'Boob Inspector' telling the woman she had improperly 
secured twins was a little bizarre. He should have said he 
was a member of PETA and told her to "Release the Mounds!" 
[I put that joke it. Apparently I am not as funny as I 

You said you were glad to know that the trick of getting a 
woman to let down her guard by posing as a policeman doesn't 
work, but actually that isn't true. Many rapists use this 
ruse, as well as posing as firefighters and other figures 
that people trust. This one woman was just lucky. -Dana
[I hate to say it, but if you're stupid enough to fall for 
a "Boobie Inspector" badge you probably shouldn't be allowed 
outside unsupervised.]

Hey lewis-check out this bizarre story from Mexico... -Hiedi
"A Mexican donkey has been freed from jail after doing time 
for acting like a jackass. The Televisa network showed Blacky 
gobbling food from a bucket after spending three days in a 
jail that normally holds people for public drunkenness and 
other disturbances. Blacky was jailed for biting and kicking 
two men near a ranch outside Tuxtla Gutierrez, the capital 
of the southern state of Chiapas. Officials freed the donkey 
after its owner paid a fine of $36 and the $115 hospital bill 
of the men, who suffered bites to the chest and a broken 
[I put this in mostly because I love the name Hiedi.] 

------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
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