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Publication: Bizarre News
Here Is The Rule

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         BIZARRE NEWS - Wednesday, April 9, 2008
 "Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."
All of you Bizarre News fans can now get your exclusive
Bizarre News coffee mug. Supplies are limited so order yours
today for just $2.99! Official Bizarre News Mug

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Here is the rule: If you are a crack addict, and you like to
dress up in lingerie, stockings, miniskirt and a wig and then
break into apartment's to spy on strange women, try not to
drop your crack pipe when you flee the scene.

This story, that just hit the news recently, actually started
a year ago when Eric Kincaid, dressed as described above, fled
the apartment of a 24-year-old Oregon woman when she discovered
him spying on her from her own closet.

In the closet the woman found the crack pipe and a bottle of
sexual lubricant. Understandably she was in fear for months of
the psycho returning and raping her.

In fact, it took nine months for the police to match DNA they
found on the pipe with DNA from a juvenile robbery arrest of

In court Kincaid told jurors that at the time of the illegal
entry he was high on methamphetamine and was looking for the
apartment of a woman he barely knew who he had arranged to
have sex with. This is how he explained the lubricant.

But when he saw the woman sitting on the bed half naked, he
realized she was the wrong woman and that he was in the wrong
apartment. Basically, he was as surprised as she was, he said.

Bizarrely enough, after nearly six hours of deliberations, the
jury decided to believe Kincaid and found him not guilty of all

So on second thought, as long as you're in Oregon, go ahead and
dress up in drag and sneak into women's apartments with your
crack pipe and Astro Glide. Apparently it's perfectly alright.



P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out here...
Bizarre News Forum


+-------------- Bizarre English Translations --------------+
In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels 
please. If you are not person to do such thing is please 
not to read notis.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at 
the front desk.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with 
pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Ortho-
dox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where 
famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers 
are buried daily except Thursday.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you 
nothing to hope for.

In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we 
recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your 
first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it. 

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking. - Here speeching American.


---------- Police: 30 pans stolen from Pizza Hut ---------

ARDMORE, Okla. - Police in Ardmore, Okla., said they have 
arrested a man who allegedly stole 30 pizza pans from a 
local Pizza Hut and sold the metal as scrap. Capt. Tony 
Trudell said police discovered the missing pans had been 
sold to a local business that buys used metals for $17.28 
and the business provided them with the name and address 
of the suspect, The Daily Ardmorite reported Monday. 
"Anyone selling used metal has to provide an ID with name 
and address," Trudell said. Jody Guinn was arrested in 
connection with the burglary and the pilfered pans were 
returned to the pizzeria, which had begun serving customers 
on borrowed pans. 


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-------- Man arrested for throwing hedgehog at teen --------

WHAKATANE, New Zealand - A man in New Zealand is charged 
with assault with a weapon for allegedly hurling a hedgehog 
at a 15-year-old boy, police said. Whakatane resident 
William Singalargh, 27, is accused of chucking the prickly 
critter at the teen, causing minor injuries to the victim's 
leg, the New Zealand Herald reports. "It hit the victim in 
the leg, causing a large, red welt and several puncture 
marks. He was arrested shortly afterward for assault with 
a weapon, namely the hedgehog," Senior Sgt. Bruce Jenkins 
said. Police have not said whether Singalargh knew the teen 
or what caused him to throw the hedgehog, which was dead 
when authorities found it. An April 17, hearing is set for 
Singalargh in the Saturday incident, the newspaper said. 

------- Woman smuggled snake out of store in pants --------

LANSING, Mich. - A clerk at Preuss Animal House in Lansing, 
Mich., said a woman stole a boa constrictor by hiding the 
snake inside her pants but quickly returned the reptile. 
The clerk said the woman grabbed the boa while his back 
was turned and shoved it down her pants before quickly 
exiting the store, WDIV-TV, Lansing, Mich., reported 
Monday. A surveillance camera recorded the woman reaching 
into the snake tank and walking away. Rick Preuss, the 
store's owner, said employees were concerned about the 
health of the baby snake before the woman brought it back 
to the shop. "She brought it back right away and ran out 
the door before I could even get hold of any law enforce-
ment," Preuss said. He said the store is not seeking to 
press any charges. 


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--------- 4-year-old sets cup-stacking records -----------

COLORADO SPRINGS - A Colorado Springs 4-year-old broke
three international records this week in a cup-stacking
competition at the Denver Coliseum, a newspaper said.
Miles Seminario has been perfecting his cup-stacking
skills for up to three hours a day for the past six months
in preparation for the Sunday event, the Denver Post
reported. Seminario went up against other cup-stackers
aged 4 or less. "It's kind of silly. He saw a kid stack
cups on 'Yo Gabba Gabba!' in November. Now, he's obsessed,"
the boy's mother said. "Yo Gabba Gabba!" is a television
show for children shown aired on the Nick Jr. channel.
Seminario's parents reportedly were hesitant to let him
participate in the contest because of the pressures of
competition. Nearly 1,100 people from eight countries and
34 states were involved in the World Championship contest
said Matt Reed, executive director for the World Sport
Stacking Association.


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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural.  Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Lewis, I have to agree with the other readers about Chadwick.
I also miss him and his newsletter. What would we as readers
have to do to get him back? A petition? A naked march on your
offices? -Jennifer in Houston

I once gave mouth-to-mouth to a little 3-lb. chihuahua when
she stopped breathing and just keeled over.  She seemed to
have something stuck in her throat.  She revived and lived
a long happy life.  I would've done anything to save her, so
I understand that woman biting the pit bull. Good for her!
 -Ginger in TX

Lewis: Canada has very tight national rules for gun owner-
ship, and nobody legally packs a handgun in his jacket.
That doesn't seem to be a handicap for gangsters who pop
each other with illegal weapons quite regularly around here.

CHADWICK & TZ in 08 has my vote. It is not a scandal unless
your embarrassed. or ashamed of what you did! -PatsyMae
[I don't think either Chadwick or TZ has ever been embarras-
sed about anything they have ever done.]

Where is the Trivia News that was edited by that pregnant
woman?  Did she have her baby and is on leave?  We miss
that wonderful bit of trivia each week! -Gary
[It's called Trivia Today. You can still subscribe to it
for free at http://www.gophercentral.com ]

------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
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