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Publication: Bizarre News
Bears and Bikes In Boulder

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BIZARRE NEWS - Saturday, June 28, 2008
 "Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

If any of you have never done it, it is great to get out on
your bicycle in the county. Especially if you are in the
woods. You don't have the constant noise of an engine, you
are surrounded by the environment, you can let your mind
focus and forget about work and stress while your body gets
a good work out.

And then you collide with a bear.

That's exactly what happened to a bicyclist who was training
for a race on a road through the woods in Boulder, Colorado.

Tim Egan and his nephew were traveling about 45 miles per
hour on the hill just west of Boulder. "I saw a blur and
thought to myself, 'Big dog.'" Egan said. "Then, just as I
was hitting it, I saw this gigantic bear head with huge
teeth. He was surprised to see me and I was surprised to see

Egan and his bike were thrown through the air and landed on
his back. He couldn't move for several minutes. His nephew
pulled up on the scene just seconds later and told him the
bear was still there.

"I remember thinking to myself, 'I'm alive, but the bear's
here. Oh, this is bad.' I mean, he was extremely well-fed
and a big guy. And he wasn't happy. He looked at me and he
opened his mouth," said Egan.

Eventually, though, the bear sauntered off into the woods,
apparently uninjured. Egan, though, was bleeding profusely
and his bike was bent. He and his nephew got it straightened
out and rode to Boulder Community Hospital.

"I don't think I could have hurt him," said Egan. "It was
literally like running into a brick wall. I'm glad my nephew
was here, or nobody would have believed me. I told him, 'I
demand that this story be told at my funeral, because it'll
get a laugh out of everyone.'"



P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
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p.s. The Bizarre Holidays on BizarreNews.com will be 
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----------- Smoking man zapped by lightning -------------

ORLANDO, Fla. - A Florida man said it felt like he "stuck 
a fork in an outlet" when lightning struck him while he 
was holding a cigarette out the window of an apartment. 
Adam Rice said he was listening to music and watching TV 
in an apartment in Orange County, Fla., when lightning 
zapped him on the hand Wednesday, WKMG-TV, Orlando, Fla., 
reported. "All of sudden it sounded like fireworks go off, 
just loud pops, like, constantly. The whole house lit up 
blue and I got zapped on my hand," he said. Rice said he 
could feel the electricity leave through his feet after 
it went through his body. The lightning strike caused 
nearby brush to burst into flames, WKMG said. "I called 
the fire department and I (said), 'I just got struck by 
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my body felt like I stuck a fork in an outlet," he told 
reporters. Rice said his foot burns a little but he 
decided not to go to the doctor. 

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----------- Baby crocodile surprises drinkers -------------

DARWIN, Australia - Patrons at a bar in Australia said they
were surprised when a baby crocodile unexpectedly walked
in front of the building's door. It is a mystery how the
2-foot-long crocodile made its way to the Noonamah Tavern,
about 25 miles outside of the Northern Territory capital
of Darwin, CNN reported. "I think someone went fishing and
picked him up. Or someone left him here as a practical
joke. It's very unlikely that it walked up by itself,"
Naray said. Drinkers hurried out of the bar after two
nearby gas station workers saw the crocodile near the
building Sunday, the report said. Patrons said they carried
the animal into the bar for some quick photos before send-
ing it to the Darwin Crocodile Farm, where it is in good

--------- Man steals ATM from convenience store ----------

PLACENTIA, Calif. - Police in Placentia, Calif., said they 
were searching for a man accused of entering a convenience 
store and stealing an automated teller machine. Placentia 
police spokeswoman Corinne Loomis said a man told the 
Circle K clerk to move out of the way while he took the 
large ATM out of the store on a dolly, The Orange County 
(Calif.) Register reported. Police said the man had on a 
motorcycle helmet or a paint-ball mask and took off in a 
vehicle after the heist. No one was injured in the 
Wednesday incident and the man didn't appear to be armed, 
the newspaper said. Loomis said the ATM had been filled 
with cash the day it was taken. 

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----------- Nude inmate picked up by police --------------

SAVANNAH, Ga. - A Georgia inmate was taken back to jail 
after police found him walking nude near the detention 
center, officials said. Bill Merit, 49, was taken back 
to Chatham County jail and charged with public indecency 
after police received reports of a naked man walking 
toward a busy corner, the Savannah (Ga.) Morning News 
reported. "I observed Merit, naked, holding his private 
area. Merit was cooperative and stated he just left the 
jail, and the clothes they gave him he did not want, 
because he thought they were stolen," a police officer 
told the Morning News. Reports said the man "appeared 
rational, except for being naked." Merit was taken into 
police custody for criminal trespass and disorderly 
conduct two days before the nude-walking incident took 
place Monday, official documents show. 


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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Shouldn't your lead story be under Brassiere News?
- Larry
[I've been trying to get that particular newsletter off the 
ground for years.]

Hey Lewis, He may be the oldest pilot, but "Ernie Trent 
said he has been flying planes since the 1930s -- including 
a stint training B-52 pilots during World War II." The 
first B-52 wasn't flying until 1952, well after WWII. Your 
people should have checked that out. (Korean War maybe?)
- Mike 
[Come on, Mike. Let's give the 101 year-old WWII Veteran 
the benefit of the doubt. Maybe we was testing them out 
before they got out on the market?] 

"Why is it a man can "rent the cow for a little milk" but 
a woman is expected to marry a pig just to get a little 
sausage? --Heather 
To answer Heather, because even a little sausage is enough 
to satisfy most women. - Ather World 
[Is it just me or does everyone who reads this have a taste 
for some breakfast food?]

------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
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