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Publication: Bizarre News
A Clever and Ingenious People

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         BIZARRE NEWS - Saturday, May 31, 2008
 "Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."
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Greetings fellow Bizarros:

The Japanese are a very clever and ingenious people. Who 
else but a Japanese person could live in somebody else's 
house for a year without them even knowing? 

It seems a homeless woman sneaked into a man's house and 
lived undetected in his wardrobe for an entire year. The 
woman was only discovered after the man became suspicious 
about food mysteriously disappearing from his kitchen. 

Police found the 58-year-old woman hiding in the top com-
partment of the man's wardrobe and arrested her for tres-
passing. The man had installed security cameras that 
transmitted images to his mobile phone after becoming 
puzzled by food disappearing from his kitchen. 

One of the cameras captured someone moving inside his home 
after he had left, and he called police believing it was 
a burglar. However, when they arrived they found the door 
locked and all the windows closed. 

"We searched the house, checking everywhere someone could 
possibly hide," a police spokesman said. 

"When we slid open the shelf closet, there she was, curled 
up on her side." 

The woman told police she had nowhere to live and first 
sneaked into the man's house about a year ago when he left 
it unlocked. She had moved a mattress into the small closet 
space and even took showers. 

If only my kids were that quiet and discreet. 

Bizarrely,

Lewis

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out here...
Bizarre News Forum

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+------------------- Bizarre Holidays --------------------+
                           JUNE

June 1 is Dare Day

June 2 is National Rocky Road Day

June 3 is Repeat Day

June 4 is Old Maid's Day

June 5 is Festival Of Popular Delusions Day

June 6 is Teacher's Day and National Applesauce Cake Day

June 7 is National Chocolate Ice Cream Day

For the rest of the list, go to: Bizarre News.com

                             ***

--------- Woman, 101, renews driver's license -----------

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. - A 101-year-old Florida woman known 
as the oldest driver on the planet says people may be 
surprised she renewed her driver's license until 2011. 
Lillian Cox began driving in 1915 and can still be seen 
putting around Tallahassee, Fla., in her 1984 sedan, 
WKMG-TV in Orlando reported Thursday. "They're surprised 
that I'd get a driver's license at 101. But I have four 
more years," she said. "I'm sure I look (101 years old) 
but they don't let me know that." Cox said, however, she 
wants to be driven to her upcoming appearance on "Tonight 
Show with Jay Leno" in a limousine. 

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------------- Kentucky, Ohio feud over rock ---------------

FRANKFURT, Ky. - Kentucky officials said they are prepared 
to go to court to get back an 8-ton boulder currently in 
the possession of the city of Portsmouth, Ohio. The 
officials and researchers said Indian Head Rock, which is 
believed to bear writings made by American Indians, was 
taken from the Kentucky side of the Ohio River last year 
by unidentified Ohioans, WLKY-TV, Louisville, Ky., reported 
Thursday. "The Indian Head Rock was located in Kentucky 
waters and is Kentucky state property," said researcher 
George Carruthers of the University of Kentucky. "From a 
research standpoint, removal of the Indian Head Rock from 
the Ohio River has removed the artifact from its historic 
context, robbing researchers of the opportunity to fully 
appreciate its history. The significance of the rock as a 
historical feature of the river has been destroyed," 
Carruthers said. Kentucky prosecutor Cliff Duvall said he 
is prepared to go to court to bring the rock back to the 
state and prosecute the alleged thieves. "I can tell you 
we are working toward a grand jury vote on the matter," 
he said. 

------------- Man survives crotch snake bite ---------------

CAIRNS, Australia - A man seemed embarrassed after a snake 
bit him in the crotch while he was relieving himself on 
the side of the road in Australia, an ambulance spokesman 
said. The tourist could have lost his life when a poisonous 
brown snake lurched toward his crotch and sunk its teeth 
into his manhood, the Sun reported Thursday. It was 
reported rescue officials hurried to the road near Cairns, 
Australia, and began on-site treatment. Medical officials 
said the man was expected to recover, despite throwing up 
and complaining of a stomachache. "It certainly had a swipe 
at him. But it didn't envenomate him. As it came through 
it must have got a bit of a shock," the spokesman said. 
"I think he was a bit shocked and embarrassed." 

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------------------------------------------------------------

-------- Man claims to have footage of real E.T. ---------

DENVER - A Denver man who is pushing the city to form an 
extraterrestrial affairs commission claims to have obtained 
video of a real space alien. Jeff Peckman said he plans to 
reveal the video, an excerpt from a documentary by Colorado 
filmmaker Stan Romanek, to the news media Friday, the Rocky 
Mountain News reported Thursday. "As impressive as it is, 
it's still one tiny portion in the context of a vast amount 
of peripheral evidence," Peckman said. "It's really the 
final visual confirmation of what you already know to be 
true having seen all the other evidence." He said members 
of the media won't be allowed to film or copy the segment 
due to legal issues related to the documentary. However, 
he said there will be opportunities for the public to view 
the footage. "There is an open, public meeting in about a 
month in Colorado Springs," Peckman said. "We'll hope to 
do one in Denver at some point, and then in a few months, 
there will be the documentary that anybody can have, and 
it'll have the footage." 

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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world 
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural.  Get The 
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..  
Bizarre Uncensored

------------------------------------------------------------

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Hey Lewis, they speak French in part of Canada. Doesn't 
work so well; they tried to secede a while back. -Linda
[Why? Because the rest of Canada makes fun of them for 
speaking French?]


the dude hires a nude girl to clean his house, and he 
doesn't watch her clean the house?? Where was he at??
LOSER!


Lewis, I think Dick (being the operative word) should 
study his Constitution a little more closely and realize 
that we have free speech in this country, so if one pre-
fers to speak in Pig-Latin that is their right.  I've 
noticed that the mandatory English crowd tends to have 
one thing in common - too stupid to learn a few words 
of a second language. -Dorothy
[You have the right to speak Pig-Latin if you want, but 
everyone else has the right to completely ignore you for 
being an idiot.]


WHAT WORKS IN GANADA? Everywhere you go in Vancouver, you 
need a translator to understand Hindi, Urdu, Mandarin, 
Cantonese, Japanese, or any of a dozen more tongues, in-
cluding Mexican Spanish! -Karl
[Sounds like New York.]

------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do? 
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis 
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