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Publication: Bizarre News
Teen inflates 213 balloons with his nose

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         BIZARRE NEWS - Saturday, April 19, 2008
 "Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."
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All of you Bizarre News fans can now get your exclusive
Bizarre News coffee mug. Supplies are limited so order yours 
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Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Whoever said kids don't have ambition any more? A 13-year-
old Blaine, Wash., boy said he believes he has set a world 
record by inflating 213 balloons with his nose in the space 
of an hour. 

Andrew Dahl, who credited playing the trumpet with giving 
him his lung strength, said Guinness World Records refused 
to certify his videotaped previous attempt at the feat, 184 
balloons in an hour, because he did not tie the balloons 
himself. 

However, Dahl said this time he did all of his own tying, 
and the attempt was captured by multiple video cameras and 
witnessed by numerous friends and family. The teenager said 
he expects to hear back from Guinness within a few weeks 
regarding whether his latest attempt qualifies for the Book 
of World Records. 

Dahl's father, Doug, said he measured each balloon after it 
was inflated to ensure it met the minimum diameter, 20 centi-
meters (about 7.9 inches) and the boy's mother, Wendy, kept 
a running tally of Andrew's nose-inflated balloons during 
the event. 

The teen said he has been inflating balloons with his nose 
since he was 7-years-old. 

"When we had barbecues or get-togethers I'd do it just to 
show that I could," he said. 

Bizarrely,

Lewis

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the 
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out here... 
Bizarre News Forum

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+-------------- Bizarre Driving Test Answers --------------+

Driving School: Real answers received on exams given by the 
California Department of Transportation's driving school:

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the 
   road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-
   way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper 
   sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could
   no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being 
   passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic 
   light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

                             ***

--------- Police: Teens tried to steal gator -----------

DAYTONA BEACH SHORES, Fla. - Five students have been 
arrested for allegedly trying to steal an alligator from 
a miniature golf course in Daytona Beach Shores, Fla., 
police said. An officer said he spotted the suspects -- 
Embry-Riddle University students Jesse Ramos, 18; George 
Grampp, 18; Craig Devries, 19; Eric Tatki, 19; and Thomas 
Shaughnessy, 19 -- climbing into the Congo River miniature 
golf course's alligator pool Thursday morning, WFTV, 
Orlando, Fla., reported Thursday. The officer said the 
teenagers, who were allegedly using duct take and a palm 
frond to try to nab the gator, fled after he tried to make 
contact with them, but all five were captured by police. 
The suspects were being held on $1,000 bond each. 

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--------------- Male patient not pregnant ------------------

FAIRFIELD, Ohio - Authorities in Butler County, Ohio, said 
a team of paramedics was shocked upon discovering a patient 
who appeared to be pregnant was actually a man. Police 
reports said the patient, who did not speak much English, 
was picked up by a Fairfield Township Life Squad at a 
Speedway gas station and the paramedics believed the 
patient to be a woman far along in her pregnancy, The 
Fairfield (Ohio) Echo reported Thursday. However, when 
they lifted the patient's clothing to check for signs of 
crowning, they instead found irrefutable evidence of the 
patient's masculinity. The report said the man, who gave 
his name as "Mayra," later said he was depressed and "just 
wanted to go the hospital." 


--------- Man proposes with newspaper crossword ----------

ATLANTA - An Atlanta man who popped the question to his 
girlfriend through the USA Today crossword puzzle says his 
marriage proposal was accepted. Alex Fay, who created the 
marriage-themed puzzle and submitted it to the newspaper, 
said he chose the unconventional proposal because the 
crossword was something he and his girlfriend, Lisa Stern, 
did together on a daily basis, USA Today reported Thursday. 
"When I was trying to think of something that was personal 
and kind of fun, it just leapt into my mind," Fay said. 
"This is something we share, so I enjoyed being creative." 
Stern said the puzzle's overt marriage theme made her 
suspicious, but it wasn't until she got to clue 58 Across, 
"Question that pops up," and came up with the answer, 
"WILLYOUMARRYME," that Fay lowered himself to one knee and 
presented her with the ring. "I was shocked," Stern said. 
"I knew he'd do something creative. I did not think he 
would do something this big." 

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---------- Ind. police: Lights in sky a mystery -----------

KOKOMO, Ind. - Police in Indiana's Tipton and Howard 
counties said they have received multiple reports of 
bright streaks of light in the sky Wednesday night. 
The police and WRTV, Indianapolis -- which also received 
calls from residents -- said many of the callers reported 
an explosion after the lights, and callers from Kokomo 
reported a metallic smell, WRTV reported. Indiana State 
Police and county sheriff's departments said they could 
not locate any crashed objects, despite sending at least 
50 emergency responders to investigate. "We had reports 
of fire and things falling from the sky," said ISP Sgt. 
Jeremy Kelly. "After that, several reports in several 
different areas came in, but we did not locate anything 
consistent with the reports." The Federal Aviation 
Administration said there have been no reports of missing 
planes or other objects. Authorities said the incident 
remains a mystery, but some speculated the ruckus may 
have been caused by a meteorite. 

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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world 
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural.  Get The 
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..  
Bizarre Uncensored

------------------------------------------------------------

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I thought this engine that runs on water has already been 
patented by someone else, the government is taking a serious 
look at it for testing in various military equipment.  The 
fuel is called HHO.  Just Google it, or Youtube - type in 
HHO Fuel. -Lance, York, Pa.
[HHO is a gas produced from water through electrolysis. A 
very energy intensive process. Engines don't run on gaseous 
fuels, they run on liquid fuels.]


Lewis: I am not a fan of bio-fuel either but your sob story 
implying the US is supposed to feed the world for free is 
bullshit. The US is broke and in debt to a majority of the 
industrial world..  We are a net importer of goods and have 
astronomical trade deficits to show for it. And the steady 
erosion of the US dollar will cause imported energy to cost 
more and more every year. This nation is in free fall because 
of no national priorities and no leadership. -Dennis 
[I by no means think it's the job of the U.S. to feel the 
world, nor did I suggest that in the last issue. In fact, 
the brunt of the pressure to steer agricultural production 
away from biofuel and back to food is falling on the EU 
which has mandates to convert large percentages of their 
production to biofuels. They should take care of their own 
needs.]


Hi Lewis, Why don't you use your last name? I bought your 
book, actually two copies, and was surprised that you don't 
use your name even in a professionally published book. What 
gives? -Dave 
[Statute of limitations.]


Hi Lewis, I was reading bizarre news and I was wondering do 
you write all the articles that are on here?  How about the 
readers comments - are they real?  Also how do you feel if 
someone cuts and paste your bizarre news and changes your 
name to theirs and sends it out to their friends? --Robin 
[I write some of the stories...and some I suggest to my 
assistant editor, Steve. He takes care of everything else. 
And yes, all of the comments are from real, live, actual 
subscribers. I couldn't be that bizarre all by myself. 
As far as changing Bizarre News and remailing it out as 
original material...that's what we have a pack of rabid 
attack-lawyers for.] 

------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do? 
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis 
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