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Publication: Fifty & Furthermore
Alternative Partnerships

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FIFTY & FURTHERMORE - Thursday, October 19, 2006

"I'm Dr. Dorree Lynn, founder of FiftyandFurthermore.com. 
Growing older can be a time for creative and passionate 
living, and I will apply my years as a psychologist to 
help you with the challenges and wonders that come with 
this new life stage."
------------------------------------------------------------

Hello and welcome to FIFTY & FURTHERMORE! 

Today we'll discuss alternative marriages/partnerships. I 
look forward to your input on this very controversial 
topic. If you would like to make a comment or ask me a 
question, please email me at the address below and as 
always, I will do all I can to provide you with the 
advice you seek.

As I always say, "life is too hard to do alone - reach 
out!"

Dr. Dorree Lynn, Psychologist

Please send questions and comments to: 
email Dr. Lynn


Question:

In regards to sex in and out of marriage:
 
I'm told there is an old Chinese proverb that says,
 
"Wife who put husband in doghouse
soon find him in cathouse."

Answer:

Confucious say: The Chinese were quite wise, albeit 
full of generalizations. Thanks for the quote.

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Question:

I'm wondering what the majority of people my age think 
about polyamory. I'm currently seeking a polyamorous 
relationship. I'm bisexual, have been all my life, and 
have decided that I shouldn't have to choose one or the 
other. I don't feel like an outsider; on the other hand, 
I'm having a hard time meeting people my age that could 
have a long love relationship with more than one person. 
What are your insights, Dr. Lynn, and the insights of 
some of your wonderful readers?

Answer:

As long as you are not harming anyone or yourself 
emotionally or physically, I feel that when it comes 
to relationships, being fifty and furthermore has 
earned us the right to act in a way that makes us happy 
even if a large majority of society may disagree with 
our choices. I am sure you are aware of the dangers of 
unprotected sex with multiple partners, and I assume 
you take the necessary precautions to prevent STDs. 
Since most in our generation were raised to believe that 
polyamorous relationships are "wrong," you may continue 
to have a hard time finding a man or woman your age who 
shares your views. If you are upfront and honest about 
what type of relationship you desire from the get-go, 
you can at least filter out the ones who DON'T agree. Or, 
to your surprise, you may end up meeting one individual 
who causes you to want a monogamous commitment after all. 
Readers, what do you think?

------------------------------------------------------------
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Question:

Historically, marriage began as a way of "owning" a woman.
 
It took centuries for humans to recognize equality of women, 
and that still is not reality in many places.
 
Although "outbreeding" is known to be advantageous for a 
species, we fail to recognize this.  It is probably the 
reason nature gives us a sex drive not directed 
specifically at one individual.
 
Sexual fidelity in marriage is the longest running joke 
in the history of the human race.  It will have no role 
in marriages of the future.  Eskimos say "You love your 
children.  We love ALL children."

Answer:

Thank you for that brief historical perspective on mar-
riage and the views of the Eskimos. I just read an 
article about how less than half of all households 
include a married couple. Clearly the nature of marriage 
and of the family unit is changing. I don't know if I 
would go as far as predicting that fidelity will be a 
lost cause, but the data is certainly supportive of 
today's unwillingness to "settle down," so to speak. 
Outbreeding may be beneficial for animal species, but 
with all the sexually transmitted diseases, especially 
fatal ones like AIDS, I can't imagine how that would 
help humans move forward. You've definitely provided 
food for thought, though. Again, readers, any thoughts?

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     For more insight and advice from Dr. Lynn visit:              
fiftyandfurthermore.com
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          GopherCentral's Question of the Week

Topical, timely, controversial, click the link to answer
this week's GopherCentral.com Question of the Week.

     Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit:    
Question of the Week
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