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                 Friday, July 11, 2008
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A very warm welcome from Carmen Sutra:  

Thank you one and all for sharing your very detailed stories
this week. One reader shares her version of a Staycation with
a rather hot letter. Many of you chimed in with responses to
a question from last week: how do you persuade your partner
to perform oral sex? Oral is one of the most frequently dis-
cussed and requested topics, so tons of you wrote in for this
reader. The consensus is be clean and...I'll let you read the
rest for yourselves :)

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Today's Topic: Reader Comments


I've been having a Staycation this week and it definitely has 
been fun....no kids in the house now so that makes everything 
easier. It started during the day when my honey was still at 
work. I did housework in the nude....it's naughty and starts 
the engine running because I can think of all the things I 
want him to do to my naked parts. By the time he got home 
[around 7:30 pm] I had dinner cooked [which I also did in the 
nude....of course!] and had time to shower and freshen up.  

We had a delightfully casual dinner and after he showered we 
sat out on the deck in the moonlight and that's when I showed 
him that I had nothing on underneath my sundress [think 
Sharon Stone]. I let him caress my legs and thighs.....and 
higher, and then we took it inside [not private on the deck] 
where we engaged in a light spanking session [pretending that 
I had been such a naughty girl for walking around naked].  

He put me on my elbows and knees on the couch and first 
spanked me with my dress down, then pulled the dress up to my 
waist and spanked me some more. It was hot....in more ways 
than one! We took it into the bedroom where he again had me 
on hands and knees on the edge of the bed and took me from 
behind. Needless to say, the ending was quite explosive. Who 
needs to pay for a hotel room when you can get just as much 
action at home!   

A little advice: Make the bedroom as attractive as a hotel 
room....fresh sheets, neatly made bed, NO clutter. Keep the 
blinds open if possible to create that "might be seen" vibe, 
and keep the toys and lube in a convenient drawer. It also 
helps to take a catnap in the afternoon....no matter how 
tired he is from the workday and the commute, he'll RISE to 
the occasion if you're working on all eight cylinders. Love 
the column......love the ideas!

Hi Carmen;

I have been a loyal fan for many years now and always love 
reading other's ideas on new positions. Being married 25 years 
to the most erotic man in the world, there doesn't seem to be 
anything out there that we haven't already tried. That was 
until last night! I am a blow job freak and absolutely love 
doing this for my man. He loves to reciprocate me as well and 
I am cool with this unless he wants me to sit on his face. I 
can get really wild and I am afraid of either suffocating him, 
breaking his nose, or drowning him with my orgasm. (It's okay, 
you can laugh)  In the throws of passion, me on his face, the 
idea came to me. 

One of my favorite ways to perform oral on him is with my 
head off the side of the bed, it adds more comfort to my neck, 
allows me to take all of him without gagging, and free's up 
my hands to play with other things. I had my honey lay his 
head at the edge of the bed, not over it, just close enough 
to the side where I could sit on his face and be able to move 
up and down easily, calming my fears of hurting him, and that 
in itself made it even more enjoyable! It seemed to work 
better for me to face out because facing the bed caused my 
knees to hit the mattress when I bent them. I have never had 
such a powerful "face sitting" orgasm in my life! My husband 
got soaked several times, but didn't drown because I was able 
to move. He loved it as much as I did and it is definitely 
going to be added to our favorite positions! Signed, Still 
Smiling ...

[Re: Trying to persuade a partner to perform oral:]


short of threats, try bargaining...I went to the sex shop & 
bought flavored lube. it worked wonders. also, ask for it! 
But before you do, take a shower & wash just with HOT water. 
that way you don't taste like soap. Hope these help 


First of all, I don't think that you should be giving some-
thing out that you are not receiving. But, if you feel 
inclined to give him oral anyway, then so be it. I know that 
I enjoy it as long as I am the one who initiated it. I can 
tell you that different women have different flavors, some 
better than others. Most importantly in taste for your hus-
band is to be freshly showered. I can say from personal 
experience that a very clean puss is much better than one 
that has seen more than just a shower. You could also try 
crotchless panties and going into 69 position while giving 
him oral.


If women knew just how just watching his partner looked to 
him while giving him oral sex she would do it more often and 
that would entice him to give more to giving oral sex to her.  
For men the visual thing is the greatest and you can talk to 
her as she takes his member in her mouth. The main though is 
to not jam it in her mouth and throat but rub gently on the 
back of her head, believe she can take the hint and PLEASE 
notify her, if she can't tell, just when you are going to cum 
in her mouth. She will nod for you in thanks, don't surprise 


To the woman who asks, "How do I get my husband to give me 
oral sex?" (1) make sure it is clean down there, (2) A shaved 
one is extra nice, (3) If the previous 2 do not work, quit 
going down on him. I don't know how anyone can resist a 
clean-shaven, good-smelling pussy.

About foreplay....it is important for the man also, especially 
when he gets older. I can still get an excellent erection at 
age 69 but it just takes a little longer to achieve it. So, 
us guys will all eventually get to the point that the lack of 
foreplay is not an option. I have always liked a lot of fore-
play anyway.

And to the guy whose wife wants to get it over with and the 
one who wants only the missionary position. Try to get them 
interested in some soft porn so they can see what is out there.  
If they will accept it, then gradually upgrade to some more 
passionate porn.

On the subject about the fear of getting caught....there is 
really something to this. Before my wife and I got married, 
we would do it in the bushes at the lake, in the back seat 
of the car, on the picnic bench in the back yard even before 
the fence was erected. We used to do it camping in a tent 
with a candle glowing and if anyone was looking, you could 
see the action in silhouette on the wall of the tent. She 
never figured this out. These good times have unfortunately 
been gone for a long time now.

To the woman who has been married for 10 years and no sex for 
the last 6 years and whose husband gets pissed when she mastur-
bates. Let him get pissed. Tell him that yiour clit belongs 
to you and you can do whatever you want with it. My wife dis-
covered she had cancer in February and she has totally ignored 
my sexual needs since then so I masturbate regularly even in 
front of her hoping that she will feel sorry for me and give 
in but that has not happened. I started masturbating even 
more...sometimes 3 times a day and she still did not offer to 

Finally I asked her to masturbate me and she did. A week went 
by and I asked her to masturbate me again and she did. Many 
years ago she named my penis "Rambo". So, I wrote her a letter 
telling her how much I loved her and during her chemo for can-
cer I told her that I would always be there for her. I put a 
PS on it from Rambo and the Twins thanking her for the last 
two masturbation sessions and indicated they were looking for 
a more permanent relationship. I am hoping that she will just 
take the hint and offer to do it on her own. I will see to it 
that she has the opportunity to "take the solution in hand".  
If not, I will continue to masturbate and be satisfied. I have 
done it myself a million times but any kind of sex is better 
when someone else is involved.

Hi Carmen:

This is the first time I am compelled to respond to an issue 
from your newsletter. I was married to my ex-wife for 37 years.  
We were married for six years before our one and only daughter 
was born. It would appear that I too, am a "selfish man" when 
you consider I did not (still Don't) have a strong sex drive.  
I tried all types of medical stimulants and herbs to boost my 
desire.  They did not work.

It came down to the fact that she wanted more than I was able 
to provide. She always said that if only I would make the 
initial moves that she would have been happy. That's just 
what the problem(s) were. Even though both of us changed 
physically over the years, I still was faithful to her and 
never went outside the relationship looking for stimulation. 


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I feel that I still love her. Maybe not what she wanted, 
because we have been apart now going on three years. We had 
not shared a bed for over five years due to my nervous break-
down and impotence. I even had a vasectomy to avoid any more 
unwanted pregnancies. That did not generate any additional 
drive or desires.  

I guess my answer to your writer's question is yes. There 
are many of us that have frustration and questions regarding 
our longtime relationship. Seek counseling, and be open when 
conversing. LISTEN to your significant other. Do NOT be self-
ish. Give more than you think you can when you hug. Try to 
stimulate her to the point that she has the desires you do.  
Maybe it's still not to late to salvage that relationship! 
Thanks for letting me respond.


That's a wrap, folks. Stay tuned next week when we will be
discussing a whole range of topics. We will talk about 
dressing up and role playing, one of the reasons women have
difficulty have orgasms during intercourse, and more sexual
positions! In the meantime, have a yummy weekend, everyone!
As always, I remain...

Devotedly yours,   

Carmen Sutra   

*********************WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP**********************

         Jesse Jackson Wants To Cut Obama´s N--s Off 

Jesse Jackson makes a ballsy comment about castrating Demo-
cratic Presidential hopeful Barack Obama. He must be nuts. I 
can't believe he had the sack to say such a thing.  


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