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Is this cliche true

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                 Wednesday, June 11, 2008
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A very warm welcome from Carmen Sutra:  

Listen up! This is our agenda: Monday we will continue our
series on porn, but today and next Wednesday we will be dis-
cussing some things on my mind lately. In the span of three
days, I heard the following two cliches THIRTEEN times: "the
grass is always greener" and "the friend zone." We will the
tackle the grass issue today and the friend zone next Wednes-
day. But don't forget to send in your ideas on how to pick 
porn so we can discuss them on Monday!

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Today's Topic: Cliche, But Is It True?

I've known people who ruined happy unions because they couldn't 
stop fantasizing about who they could (supposedly) be with 
if not for said relationship...and then it went beyond fanta-
sizing. I've known people who exit relationships early because 
what if someone better comes along? What if they won't be happy 
with this person in ten years? what if, what if, what if...
let's examine this.  

The grass is always greener...the grass is always greener.   
I know married couples who seemed completely happy before   
the marriage who now give pause to each other's faults,   
pining away for someone better. Someone new, someone, well,   
greener. Likewise, though, I have several single friends who   
routinely question if they will find "the one", all the   
while having a feast critiquing each date they have. We   
huff and puff waiting for a commitment, then when we have   
it, we still complain (please note these are generalizations,   
and I KNOW not everyone is like this). What is this com-   
plaining about? Deep down, are we that afraid of getting   
hurt that we push people away until we are left alone?   

I see people in established relationships doing this time   
and again. It's as if they feel like they don't deserve   
unconditional love (I warned you - amateur psychologist at   
play) and nitpick and complain until they ruin what they   
have. Leaving them...alone, which is what they initially   
feared. On an even deeper level, are some of us afraid of   
loss and therefore push people away? I know several people   
who have experienced a loved one dying early in their life,   
and they never completely recovered. It's as if the sense   
of abandonment never truly goes away.   

On a much simpler level, maybe we are just wired to never be   
content. Perhaps we are meant to constantly question. Maybe,   
in a larger sense, we are all just cavemen trying to plant   
our seed everywhere. Could this support the argument that   
monogamy is dead? I want to hear your opinions, people!   

However, on the other hand, sometimes the grass IS greener.   
Sometimes we emotionally exit relationships in baby steps,   
and lamenting/complaining helps ease us into it. Little by   
little we come to terms with a slowly dying relationship,   
and by the time we are complained out, we're okay with the   
demise. I have a friend who won't let on that there's any-   
thing wrong with her relationships until practically the   
tail end, when she's ready. All of a sudden she will spill   
everything that was ever wrong with the coupling, but only   
because she's ready. Comments?  


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Just to clarify, I know it's normal to wonder what dating   
other people would be like...That being said, there's a fine   
line between a healthy wondering and an obsessive fixation   
on what ifs. And only you can decide that line for yourself.   
Do you know people who can't seem to settle down or relax   
in a relationship? Have you experienced the grass is greener   
phenom? Do share and I'll include some of your comments on   
Friday. As always, I remain...

Devotedly yours,   

Carmen Sutra   

*********************WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP**********************

         Wedding Crashers - The Three Stooges 

The boys are on a mission to break up their Pa's wedding by 
substituting Curly for the groom. To settle Curly's nerves 
Moe and Larry fix him a drink while Curly takes the opportun-
ity to swipe a little silver off the bar. 

Viral Videos on the Net at EVTV1.com
Questions? Comments? email us at: 
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