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Does This Threaten You

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                  Wednesday, May 28, 2008
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<%BLOG|Does This Threaten You%>

A very warm welcome from Carmen Sutra:  

Before the lovely month of May fades off into the sunset, I
want to discuss a related topic. As we've been discussing,
May is Masturbation Month. As you know as well, masturbation
is often considered a taboo subject. So much so that many
couples never talk about it together, think self-pleasure
ends when a relationship begins, and some become hurt and 
threatened by their partner doing it. Let's discuss.


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Today's Topic: Does This Threaten You?

Masturbation is such a private, personal thing that many 
people (especially women) don't talk about it. People might
joke about it, but it remains one of those taboo subjects
that is clouded in shame, guilt, and embarrassment for some.
While some of my Great SEXers might be scratching their
noggins, pause for a minute. I read your letters and know
that many of you feel threatened and insecure by your part-
ner engaging in self-pleasure.

That's because one of the myths regarding masturbation is
that it is solely a substitute for intercourse when you 
aren't getting any. FALSE. Masturbation is a normal, natural
activity that can be enjoyed as a single person, if you are
part of a couple, by yourself, and/or with your partner. 
There is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbating, even 
after you are paired off. 

I really need to emphasize here that if your partner mastur-
bates to magazines, porn, or a hottie from Starbucks, it is
not a reflection on how he/she feels about you. Again, this
is a completely normal, healthy activity. Think for a moment
about what you fantasize about during masturbation. Say 
you masturbate to fantasies of threesomes with George Bush
and Dick Cheney. Or maybe you fantasize about one of your
partner's co-workers. Does that mean you would want to do it 
in "real life"? Is that a reflection of how you feel about your
partner? No. 

But this goes back to what I mentioned about how masturbation 
is considered a taboo subject. If you view masturbation as 
something to be ashamed of, then you might not realize your 
partner's behavior is harmless to begin with, let alone your 
own. I implore you to give yourself permission to enjoy your 
body...and give your partner freedom to enjoy his/hers.

People masturbate to a variety of images and for a variety of 
reasons. For most, it's a simple release that provides seconds 
of ecstasy and stress-relief. Some masturbate to images, 
positions, or acts that their partner is reluctant to try. 
Others masturbate to keep from cheating. Whatever the reason, 
it's a natural act. Hell, it's YOUR body. What could be wrong 
with touching yourself? I know many of you feel insecure that 
your partner watches porn or looks at magazines, but you need 
to allow each other freedom. You might not want to hear about 
the details, but give each other some space! If you are in a 
monogamous, respectful relationship, what's the harm in think-
ing about other people? Freedom within boundaries goes a long 
way to encourage long-term success for a relationship.

EXCEPTION: If you know your partner masturbates on a regular
basis, yet he/she does not want to have intercourse, then I 
understand your hurt. Before getting upset, though, consider 
what could be behind the action. Perhaps your partner is uber-
stressed and cannot engage in intercourse right now or maybe 
he/she is not feeling attractive. The point is that you don't
necessarily have to become upset about it; talk to your part-
ner before jumping to conclusions.

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On the other hand, (pun so intended!) you might BE interested
in discussing this with your partner. Some find tremendous
sexual satisfaction in sharing fantasies, engaging in mutual
masturbation, or use the fantasies as foreplay. The important
thing to remember is that you must communicate with your
partner. If you don't want to hear the details, that's fine,
but also be honest in your dialogue about your ideas and
perceptions about masturbation so you know you are on the
same page. You don't want resentment and hostility to build
from lack of communication. What say you? Does it upset your 
partner if you masturbate? Do you share your fantasies? Let's 
end May with a bang! Send your comments, and I will publish 
some of them on Friday. As always, I remain...

Devotedly yours,   

Carmen Sutra   

*********************WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP**********************

                 O´Reilly Distorts History 

In this segment, we see how history is distorted by people 
like Bill O'Reilly. He actually accuses U.S. GI's of a massa-
cre that the Nazi's committted. I guess this is the 'no spin 

Viral Videos on the Net at EVTV1.com
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