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Publication: Great Sexpectations
Most Embarrassing Runners-Up

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                 Wednesday, May 21, 2008
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<%BLOG|Most Embarrassing Runners-Up%>

A very warm welcome from Carmen Sutra:  

May I have a drumroll, please?! Every year at the end of 
Masturbation Month (I mean May), I publish your most embarr-
assing masturbation stories. Next Wednesday will feature the
very top of the list, but today's stories are worthy runners-
up. They did not make the top portion, though, because they
did not involve the reader getting caught in the act. I have
no doubt you will be entertained, nonetheless. After all,
any story that involves one's mother-in-law or child finding
your "toy" is pricesless, right? Enjoy!

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                            *   

Today's Topic: Most Embarrassing Runners-Up

Dear Carmen,

My story doesn't really have to do with the act but more the 
tool that I use. I have a nice gold dildo that my sister-in- 
law gave to me as a gag for my golden birthday a couple of 
years back. It takes 2 C batteries. When I buy them, I try 
to sneak about it so my hubby doesn't tease (all in fun) me!  
So this year my kids received a Spin Art kit for Christmas 
and it takes C batteries!! YAY! So now I have an excuse to 
get them without getting razzed. 

Long story short, the Spin Art goes through the batteries 
quite quickly. The hubby and kids were in the middle of some 
art time when it died. Uh oh, no more C batteries in the 
house. But wait, Mommy can find one. I sacrificed one of my 
two C's for my kids, I know, love right?! My husband just 
grinned from ear to ear when my son asked 'Where did you find 
the extra battery Mommy?'

Carmen,

Back when I was in high school my girlfriend and I spent every 
Sunday night at her parent's house. After supper she and I 
would head downstairs to watch some TV and fool around. And 
best of all we could do this without any of the normal sneak-
ing around that this might usually require. You see her father 
always had something on Sunday nights in the winter it was 
curling and bowling in the summer. And her mom would be putter-
ing around the house and cooking the meals for the week all 
the while music would be playing and we could hear her dancing 
around and singing up stairs. Best of all we knew when to wrap 
things up because the last thing she would do was vacuum the 
floors. 

Now on this night everything was going as usual dinner was 
great, her dad was out, she and I downstairs totally into 
each other, and mom up stairs singing her head off to a new 
album she had just bought. My girlfriend and I where right in 
the middle of the kind of making out that only teenagers can 
get up to when we heard the vacuum switch on followed by the 
dogs barking and running into her parents' bedroom. We decided 
to keep going when all of a sudden her mom screams....kind of 
and then something hits the floor. I tidy myself up quickly 
and run upstairs my girlfriend quickly behind me. The music 
is really loud so I run over to her mom and tell my girl-
friend to turn off the music. 

Her mom is lying on the ground shaking a bit, muttering, 
breathing really hard, and making a face that I'd seen before 
but…couldn't…quite….place. I try and help her up and she 
squeezes the crap out of my hand and starts gasping. "Is she 
alright?" I ask my girlfriend "Is she having an attack of 
some kind." Then her mom very quickly eases up on my hand, 
pulls herself together, gets up turns beet red, and runs into 
her bedroom the dogs come running out and she slams the door. 

Now from here things are a bit blurry for me I have no idea 
what's going on all I remember is her dad coming home she and 
I explaining what happened him running into their bedroom, 
and me leaving just after that. I asked my girlfriend the next 
day what happened she said her mom was fine and that that is 
all her mom would say. I asked both of them about it several 
times in the next few weeks but got nothing from my girl-
friend, and when I asked her mom she would turn red and say 
it was nothing so I dropped it.

A few months ago I asked my now mother in-law about what 
happened, she laughed a bit then asked if I was sure, I said 
yes, she had become just as much of a friend to me as a mother 
figure over the past years and I was ready for anything. It 
turns out that Sunday is sex night for my in-laws and that 
particular night she wanted to get herself ready so she put 
on a pair of wireless vibrating panties, turned them on low 
and went about her Sunday routine. Turns out she forgot to 
put the remote away that goes with the panties and when she 
turn on the vacuum the dogs ran into the bedroom and lied 
down on the bed, where she had left the remote, and turned the 
vibrator on full. We laughed our butts off and then we laughed 
even harder when I told her that my wife and her mom have the 
same O face.


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                            * 

Alright, my lovelies, I hope you got a smile or two out of
today's stories! Again, the official most embarrassing 
masturbation stories will be printed next Wednesday, so there
is still time to submit your own mishap. Got a question or
comment? Send it in for Friday's reader Comments. On Monday
we will discuss how some people are threatened by their 
partner masturbating. You know you can't wait. As always, I 
remain...

Devotedly yours,   

Carmen Sutra   



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