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                 Friday, April 18, 2008
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A very warm welcome from Carmen Sutra:  

Yikes, yikes, yikes. Proceed with caution, folks. Today's
round of reader comments if full of controversial questions
and pleas: how do you tell your friend of 10 years that her
boyfriend is cheating, how do you convince your partner not
to be threatened by your vibrator, plus bad breath, shaving, 
and cuddle time. I'll just let you read everything for 

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Today's Topic: Reader Comments

Hi Carmen,

I've had a friend for 10 + years. In the last year and a half, 
I set her up with one of my boyfriend's friends. They hit it 
off, and even got engaged. Over the course of the last year 
and a half though, out friendship has faded and we are nowhere 
near as close as we used to be. Here is where the problem is, 
because I don't know how to talk to her anymore. I found out 
that her now fiance is cheating on her. A mutual friend found 
this out and sent me emails, dating web site pages, and even 
nude photos that the fiance is mailing out. He claims to be 
looking for "just a fun time" and leaves his number/email for 
contact info.

What do I do with this information? If I sit her down and try 
to talk to her, she'll call me a liar and it will probably 
completely end our friendship (early on in their relationship,
I mentioned that I thought he was up to no good, hence the 
current status of our friendship.) If I don't tell her...well 
I just think it's wrong. If the situation was reversed, I hope 
someone would tell me. Help??! Thanks, A confused friend
[I'm gonna have to go with don't get involved in this one. 
Readers: what do you think?]

Hi Carmen; 

You are amazing; just when I'm dealing with this; there you 
are with a column about this! I almost always want to make 
love when my husband does and he is a good lover; usually 
making me orgasm before he ever enters me. But, after he 
comes, I'd like some intimate time; he says if he talks, he 
gets too awake, so he goes to sleep, and I lay there unhappy. 
Finally, I told him that I needed to be held and cuddled after 
our love making. He rejected that idea, but said it made him 
mad that I felt he wasn't meeting my needs. 

I was hurt and then got mad, so told him that if there was 
ever another woman, for him just to give her some money, then 
go to sleep; that took care of his obligations. Obviously, 
the wrong thing to say; he got really mad; said he'd never 
treated any woman like a prostitute. Then said it would take 
him time to forget that I said that, so we weren't making love 
for awhile! I've apologized, which he accepted, but still no 
love making; over a week now. I know I was wrong in saying 
what I did, but am I wrong in expecting the closeness that 
usually comes after the love making? Isn't that one of my 
sexual needs? Or should I just be happy with the sex, and 
forget this? Thanks for your columns; they are so helpful!
A loyal reader
[There are many dynamics conflicting here and you both sound
hurt. Bottom line: you both need to find a way to compromise 
on this, even if it means agreeing to "cuddle" after lovemak-
ing for a specified amount of time, like five minutes. You 
both need to agree and have your needs met at the same time. 
Good luck to you.]


I know you have touched on this before, but maybe you can 
bring it up again soon. What is the best way to explain to 
my hubby that a vibrator is not a threat to him or our sex 
[This is SUCH A COMMON REACTION!!! Men, please respond!!!]

Hi Carmen,

I love your column and have gotten great advice to enhance my 
lovemaking! In regards to kissing, I love kissing and I find 
it very important not only in my lovemaking but all the time 
as well. My problem is that my wife has a problem with ex-
tremely bad breath, even after she has brushed her teeth and 
used mouth wash. I have gently and lovingly shared this con-
cern with her (and to see a dentist about this) but she refuses 
to do so, and I don't push the subject any more. I love french 
kissing, especially in fore play and lovemaking but her breath 
is a total turn off and so I don't kiss her much anymore.  I 
hope this doesn't sound selfish or inconsiderate and would 
love any advice from you or other readers on this. Thanks
[That's an unfortunate dilemma. If she still has issues after 
mouthwash and brushing her teeth, then I would also agree that
a trip to the dentist is in order. Readers, what say you? I'm
sure there are plenty of other people experiencing this. For
what it's worth, you don't sound selfish or inconsiderate 
at all.]

Hi Carmen,

I swear by leg waxing. With shaving, you get the stiff 
stubble the next day. I wax my legs every 4-8 weeks, and the 
hair grows back very thinly, to the point where I barely have 
to shave between waxes. I used to have thick, dark hair on my 
legs, and now i have thin little blond hairs. Like all waxing, 
it hurts less the time goes on. The front isn't bad at all any-
way, the back is a little worse. But I don't do above the knee, 
it gets pricey and I'm all blond there anyway.


I dated a guy years ago who would shave every now and then, 
I loved it! No pesky hairs up my nose!! And guys, when you 
shave, it makes your dick look HUGE!! I’m a phone sex operator, 
and I know not everyone is truthful on there, but it seems 
like more and more guys are telling me that they shave, or 
even wax. I was really surprised at how many say they do.
Love your column!!

Hi Carmen,

Love your newsletter! I just had to write and comment about 
men shaving! For Christmas 3 years ago I decided to give my 
wife the "gift" of shaving my pubes & I haven't gone back!  
Boy, the first time was rough, as I didn't know what I was 
doing. I do not recommend a razor, and have found 
www.beavershaver.com to be quite a help. 

I struggle with razor bumps, but there is a Seiko C-battery 
powered shaver that works just great. It is not painful, and 
wifey (of 22 years) loves going down on my smooth dick and
balls. The sensation for me is great, also. I also highly 
recommend a product known as "Tend Skin" to reduce irritation 
and the razor bump problem. Bottom line is - men do not need 
pubic hair!! Rather, I suggest to try it, but give it a 
couple months before you decide (it may seem quite odd at
first). There is plenty of information on the internet to help.



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Regarding the drug Gabapentin which one of your readers 
mentioned for depression. I took it for a week and (at a 
different time) my partner took it for a week and we both had 
the same side effect - we felt like running away from our 
lives. I'm fortunate that I realized it was from the drug as 
he didn't put the feelings he was having together with the 
new medication (although I told him to be on the lookout for 
it). It came to my attention as the holidays were approaching 
and he didn't even want to see his kids (whom he always loves 
to spend time with). Although this drug may indeed work for 
some, it had this odd side effect on both of us which I feel 
others should be aware of. 


Thank you to everyone for sharing their stories, questions,
and advice this week. If you respond to one of today's letters,
please put something related in the subject header. Have a 
wonderful weekend, my little Great SEXers! I'm off to research
Monday's topic: the Swedish Massage. Hint - it's not what you
think. But you'll just have to tune in after the weekend to
find out... :) As always, I remain...

Devotedly yours,   

Carmen Sutra   

*********************WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP**********************

           Jesse Ventura Takes on Hannity & Colmes 

Former Gov. Jesse Ventura went on the Hannity & Colmes show 
and does not shy away from discussing the hard issues. He 
questions the official 9-11 story and takes them to task for 
being corporate hacks.  


Viral Videos on the Net at EVTV1.com
Questions? Comments? email us at:
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