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         ;-)  ;-)  GREAT SEXpectations  ;-)  ;-)   
       Your daily guide of sensual satisfaction for   
                 Friday, February 1, 2008
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<%BLOG|Reader Comments%>
A very warm welcome from Carmen Sutra:   

TGIF and welcome to February! As promised, I am dedicating
the entire reader comments issue this week to an intriguing
question posed by a female reader a couple weeks ago. She
explained that she is very sexually active and can have
sex without strings attached. Remember this letter? She
specifically wanted to know how men react to women who are
sexually confident and can handle casual sex. And the flood-
gates opened. I read all your letters and included a 
variety of responses. Thus, today's issue is probably the
longest one we've had in a long time!

As a side note, I really want to express my gratitude for
the responses. I truly appreciate the honesty. Not every-
one will agree with the viewpoints, but that is why we
have this forum - to provide an anonymous, safe place for
everyone to share. Let's get to it!

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Today's Topic: Reader Comments


I am a young male who loves sex. With the situation above, I 
don't think that men would think of her as a whore. If the 
girl was just having sex with every guy that she came into 
contact with, then I would think that she is a whore. Whether 
most men will admit it or not. I think that it is more a 
jealousy thing for guys because it is easier for a girl to 
get laid than it is a guy. It is almost always more work for
a guy to get a girl to go have sex. Depending on how blunt 
she is about the sex would have an effect on the guys reaction, 
too. I would rather a girl be upfront with me than to beat 
around the bush and play games all
night too.


This is for the woman asking about why men don't like that 
she likes sex for sex with different people.  I think it comes 
down to 2 reasons, ego and man's natural tendacies. More 
than just going the bar to pick up women in order to get 
lucky that night, that man feeds on the fact that he can 
still go out and pick up women. Married, single or whatever, 
he likes to know that he still has the level of attractive-
ness where he can pick out a lady, "woo" her and take her 

The second part of it is men still think of ourselves as 
"hunters" and we do not like to be hunted. Our natural tend-
ancy is think of like of the lady as the prize we "bagged" 
but to be going home as the bagged prize can throw some men 
off. I suggest that the lady maybe on the outward appearance, 
tone the hunting down. Let the man think he is reeling in 
his game even if he isn't. -grizzly


I can only speak for myself, and I think there are a ton of 
other men out there that feel the same way. The key is to 
define the relationship up front. If it is strictly about 
great sex then let the games begin. If you decide to go out 
some time for wine and dine that is fine, and more the better. 
But by all means define what you are doing from the beginning.

This removes any responsibility of commentment and and expect-
ation. The truth is, men love an opportunity like that and 
respect you more. When there is no discussion about what the 
relationship is about then the two are never on the same page. 
One is in it for sex and the other is building a so called
relationship. Then when he finds out that he is just your 
"practice dick" he is usually hurt and angry because there 
are emotions already involved.

If you want to do this, communication leads to respect. Re-
spect leads to compliments on your abilities and not compe-
tition on your motives. Keep in mind that there is a very 
small percentage of men out there that just sleep around with 
women for sex only.  Just as there is a small percentage of
women doing the same. When you don't communicate and other 
emotions spring up, the truth come out and you view each other 
as whores or anything else negative. My only question is 
where the hell is this reader and when can we get start on 
our Erotic Areobics? Training make you better. LOL! Carmen, 
love the articles and appreciate you for all you do for your


In response to the woman who loves sex. I would love for my 
significant other to love having sex just for having sex and 
pleasuring each other. I have always believed that that is 
the ultimate pleasure a man and a woman can give each other. 
Even though I have always been in a monogamous relationship 
I don't see why a woman can't play the game just like a man 
can since really, most woman really want the same thing but 
just don't want to make men think this for the fear of think-
ing you are easy. More power to you and just keep practicing 
that safe sex.


I welcome the lady’s approach to sex. It does not make her 
cheap or anything less than a lady that deserves to be honored 
with our respect. Her attitude probably makes most men feel 
insecure (she is in control). I think it is great! How 
refreshing! Enjoy!

Hi Carmen

In response to the young lady who enjoys SEX....GO FOR IT!
If more ladies would learn to enjoy SEX, for the sheer pleas-
ure of it, fewer guys would stray from home. I've been married 
for 35yrs and my wife is just now learning the "JOY OF SEX"! 
Our SEX life has never been better!!! As long as you are 
careful and PROTECT yourself, I see nothing wrong with you 
enjoying sex. After all, most men I know bragg about all the 
women they've had. Are they considered male whores by their 
buddies? I think not!

And to the ladies who complain that their husbands NEVER WANT 
SEX....BS! I'm 55 years old and I've never meet or worked 
with a man who didn't want SEX!!!!!!! 


To the girl who likes sex for sex, and wonders if men look at 
her as a whore, it's not that simple from a guy's perspective.  
Yes, some will think of her as a whore if she has that many 
partners, and others won't care too much. However MOST guys 
will look at her as a "good time girl". Now that is someone 
who is fun to be with, and to their face you can have a lot 
of fun and sex and friendship, but inside you judge them as 
someone you would never "take home to meet mom". She doesn't 
have to be judged a "WHORE" to still be judged as someone less 
than worthy to spend more than a few dates with. Once you 
judge someone with no long term potential, you treat them 
differently (even if it isn't as bad as a whore).


A women who enjoys her sexuality is great. The older I get 
the more I realize that I enjoy a women who admits she enjoys 
variety in her sexual partners. You go gurl!!! 

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In response to the young lady that feels as though men are 
put off by her sexual appetite: Since you're already sexually 
active, you obviously are old enough to have already learned 
that there DO exist some double standards. Most are certainly 
not fair, but nonetheless, they exist, and the only way that 
will change, is by US changing. As a guy, I have to admit 
that yes, I would have been a little leery of forming a last-
ing relationship with a woman that might be termed "loose". 
Is this right? Of course not! Even now, closer to sixty than 
fifty years old, if I were still single, my approach would be 
cautious, at best. 

In my younger days, I had quite a few sexual partners. Hey, 
it was the sixties, and I'm not even sure I ever got all their 
names. In those days, of course, "free love" was becoming more 
common, and a we were all caught up in the "movement". And of 
course, STDs weren't fatal back then, so that also affected 
our take on promiscuity.

In short, my honest answer to you is yes, many guys will be 
put off by your appetite, if they equate it to promiscuity. 
No guy wants to think that an indiscretion on a third, unknown 
party's part might result in the eventual death of him and/or 
his lady. And our ego certainly enters into it, as no guy (or 
at least, very few) wants to think that he's sharing his lady 
with another. I think the best approach is to simply be honest 
with your partner(s) about your appetite and attitude, and 
let them know that you always (make that ALWAYS!) use pro-
tection. You don't indicate whether or not you're monogamous, 
so all I can say to that is, I think you should be honest about 
it. If you don't intend to be monogamous, let them know (and 
don't expect it from them, either, which also increases YOUR 
risk - enough said). But if you DO intend to be monogamous, 
while seeing someone, let them know that. It can matter, a LOT!

A footnote: I said earlier that the only way for these double 
standards to disappear, is for US to change. Your letter made 
me think, and honestly admit to myself that I'm also guilty 
of prolonging a double standard. I'm sure it will make some 
others think as well. So you see, you've already started the 
change in motion!


Aw, I big puffy heart my readers! Thank you for sharing your
experiences, insight, and honesty, everyone! Ladies, I expect
to read your reaction by the end of the weekend! And don't
forget to include your ideas for Valentine's Day. As always,
I remain...

Devotedly yours,   

Carmen Sutra   

*********************WEEKLY VIDEO CLIP**********************


You wont believe what happens when two high school students 
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The students prank not only got the teachers attention by 
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Questions? Comments? email us at: 
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