Publication: Classic Laffaday
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Classic Laff-a-Day - July 11, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
Where were you when Elvis died? I was at my grandparents' house.
I remember one of my uncles was upset and my grandmother tried
to comfort him.
"He's not dead, Honey," she said consolingly. "I heard someone
saw him this morning buying a bunch of Big Macs at McDonald's."
Truly,
TZ
mailto:tz@laffaday.com
Send me your comments and jokes:
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My wife has this red lingerie with faux fur around the neck and
cuffs.
"I hate this outfit," I said when she walked into the room.
She replied, "Then why are you wearing it?"
Two guys are in a bar talking.
"I fought over a girl last night."
"Oh, yeah? With whom?"
"With my wife."
Stolen from Readers Digest
Nothing rattles my father-in-law, especially when the St. Louis
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ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular
person.
LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what occurs when two extremely horny, but
not entirely choosy people meet.
DATING - the process of spending enormous amounts of money,
time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom
you don't especially like in the present and will learn to
like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL - avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as
swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom,
and dating repulsive men or spending time around children.
EASY - a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual
morals of a man.
PRIG - a term used to describe a woman who wants to stay virgin
until married.
EYE CONTACT - a method utilized by a single woman to communicate
to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised
to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in
the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due
to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND - a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who
has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally
unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE - a woman's feeling towards a man, which is
interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."
INTERESTING - a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets
him do all the talking.
IRRITATING HABIT - what the endearing little qualities that
initially attract two people to each other turn into after a
few months together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY - how attractive a given person appears to
be is directly proportional to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex
more often than he does.
FRIGID - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex less
often than he does, or who requires more foreplay than
lifting her nightgown.
SOBER - condition in which it is almost impossible to fall
in love.
NAG - a man's term for a woman who wants more from her life
with him than just intercourse.
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