Publication: Up Yours!
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UP YOURS! - Saturday, January 13, 2007
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Dear Bastards,
Here's a story that makes a hell of a lot of sense. See if
you can follow along.
Last year a couple of Rhode Island troopers pulled over a
van packed with fifteen Mexicans. Actually, the troopers
pulled over the van for a traffic violation, but when they
saw half the state of Tijuana packed in the back they
started asking for identification. As it turns out only
the driver had any identification and could prove that he
was a citizen of the United States. The rest of them were
illegal immigrants.
Score! A whole passel of criminals off the street. You want
to talk about a stroke of luck. So the cops escorted them
all to the federal Office of Immigration and Customs
Enforcement in Providence and turned them over.
And then, later, the two troopers received commendations for
their outstanding service to the community. Actually, I'm
kidding. The ACLU is suing the State of Rhode Island, the
state police, state police Superintendent Steven M. Pare and
the two troopers who made the stop individually for racial
profiling and violation of constitutional rights.
The cock-sucker, I mean... director of the Rhode Island
affiliate of the American Civil Liberties Union Steven Brown
said, "The citizenship status of the plaintiffs is really
irrelevant to this lawsuit. These were individuals who were
in a van that was stopped for a minor traffic violation. The
question is whether police have a right to detain individuals
for no other reason than the way they look."
The fact of the matter is that they weren't detained for the
way they look. They were detained because they are criminals.
The law of the United States says that you cannot just come
strolling across the border whenever you want from wherever
you want. You have to have a passport, you have to go through
customs, and if you plan on staying any length of time you
need a Visa.
I'm not making this shit up, this is what is known as the
law of the land. And when you break that law you become a
criminal. That's what we have cops for...to arrest criminals.
But not according to the ACLU, apparently.
Are civil liberties important? Of course. Should they be
protected? Of course. Should we kick no-good, free-loading
criminals who are here illegally to suck our tax money out
of the system straight out on their unemployed, uneducated
asses? Definitely.
America was built by immigrants. Not by criminals. If you
want to live in a country built by criminals then move to
Australia.
I need a drink,
Chadwick
P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post
comments on this and recent issues at... Up Yours! Forum
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><><><><><> CHADWICK'S FAVORITE HISTORICAL INSULTS <><><><><>
"The common people are worth dying for until you bunch them
together and give then a cold once-over, then they impress
the impartial observer as being slightly bovine, with a large
percentage of vegetable tissue." --George Ade, 1886-1944
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER'S COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
OK Fuckstick, If I'm the monkey, then you're the turd with
the rag on your head. Eat shit and die, scumbag! --Dave
[That's pretty clever, homo. I think you're giving yourself
too much credit.]
Hey Chadwick, I used to drink Makers Mark, then switched to
Knob Creek, much better brand...If you prefer scotch, do
you drink single malt? Great column by the way!! Glad you
can still annoy the piss outta some of these dim lighted
readers!! Ya know the type, "Their crossing guards are
down, the little lights are blinking, but, there's no train
coming thru!" Have a good week ya sick FUCK!! Keep up the
grand work on YOUR entertaining column! --Steve in Montana
PS. And no, we don't fuck sheep anymore....
[Moved up to cattle, huh?]
Damn Chadwick! I use to think you was just a target to be
bashed, Now I now you are just a target! How does your boy-
friend feel about you getting treated like this??? How does
your parent's feel about there (boy they alway's wanted)
feel???? This is good, since Chadwick really is a GIRL!!!
LMAO!!!! How many people knew that?? Not many that I see!
Keep up the good work! L8R, Brant
I liked your article about PETA. I used to support them
until I found out they euthanize animals for the same
reason the Humane Society does and then they criticize the
Humane Society for doing it. --Belinda
In Saturday's UpYours, you said this of PETA: "naked chicks
ice skate, and wrap themselves in clear plastic wrap...."
Well, I've seen that bit on tv and in the newspaper, and
always thought the chick in the cage looked as gangly as
the Olsen Twin that never eats. Maybe if the chick in the
cage ate a cheese burger once in a while, she wouldn't
look so hideously ill. --Dave
[Hard to criticize you on this one. Those vegan chicks are
pretty scrawny. But their pasty complexions make them look
kind of goth, which can be sexy.]
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Is that the dim spark of an idea in your brain? Don't let it
go to waste! Send it to: Email Chadwick
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End of UP YOURS!
Copyright 2007 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
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