Publication: Laff A Day
Don't believe everything you read. | |
Subscribe FREE to Laff A Day by clicking here.
LAFF A DAY - Tuesday, July 1, 2008
*************************************************************
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Clean Laffs Joe found some spam in his mailbox this morning
that said in big letters, "Satisfy the girl with a bigger
dick!"
"Hell," Joe said, "I wouldn't be caught dead with a girl
with a dick that's bigger than mine."
"Don't worry, Joe," I offered, "Transsexuals have notoriously
small packages."
I-Saw-It-On-The-Internet-ly,
TZ
"Today is independence day for Madagascar. That's where the
pirates used to hang out and do 'piraty' things... like
drink rum... powder their cannon balls and get into sword
fights...like a party at Elton John's house." -Craig Ferguson
VEGETABLE PEELING GLOVES
Retail Price: $9.99
Deal Price: $4.99
SAVE EVEN MORE: Get 2 for $7.98
The fastest and easiest way to peel vegetables! Great for
potatoes, carrots, yams, radishes and more. Simply RUB to
remove outer skin. Gloves are completely waterproof and way
safer than knives or peeler blades. One size fits all
No nicks or cuts; they remove only the thinnest layer of peel!"
With these gloves you'll minimize waste of your veggies... and
let's face it, with the prices of groceries today, it's important
to get the most from your buck..
Remember you can save even more when you buy two. Get two (2)
for $7.98. They make great gifts. To order, visit:
Today's Deal of the Day
10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first
date 20% of the men had sex in a non- traditional place 36%
of the women favor nudity 45% of the women prefer dark men
with blue eyes 46% of the women experienced anal sex 70% of
the women prefer sex in the morning 80% of the men have never
experienced homosexual relations 90% of the women would like
to have sex in the forest 99% of the women have never ex-
perienced sex in the office.
Conclusion: Statistically speaking, you have a better chance
of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the
forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.
Moral: Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever
come of it.
"Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton campaigned for the first
time together in Unity, New Hampshire, today. Isn't that
cute? Unity, New Hampshire. Their tour goes from Unity to
Tolerate, Rhode Island; and Getting on My Nerves, Virginia;
and then Crazy Makeup Sex, California." --Jimmy Kimmel
CD PORTFOLIO (24 Capacity)
Normal Price: $7.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99
Carry your CDs with you wherever you go with this case that
can hold either CDs or CD ROMS and holds up to 24 CDs. The
stylish case not only protects your favorite CDs but it
looks great, too!.
This lightweight case features rugged nylon construction and
an efficient design that zips all around. Also includes easy
carrying handle.
Grab one or two while you can. This is a closeout item so once
they are gone, they are gone... CD PORTFOLIO (24 Capacity)
Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns
Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I
set off for work in my Volvo 1800 leaving my husband in the
house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a
mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car
shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's
help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in
our bedroom with the neighbor lady. I am 32, my husband is
34, and we have been married for twelve years.
When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they
had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him
to stop or I would leave him.
He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has
been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him
very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has
become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and
I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.
Can you please help?
Sincerely, Sheila
Dear Sheila: An 1800 stalling after being driven a short
distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.
Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line.
If it is clear, check the vacuum lines and hoses on the in-
take manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of
these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel
pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the
carburetor float chamber.
I hope this helps.
-Walter
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum
------------------------------------------------------------
*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
Laffaday Book
------------------------------------------------------------
To see more issues like this visit: Laff A Day Archives
Visit the Laff A Day Website here: http://www.laffaday.com
More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com
____________________________________________________________
END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
 E-Mail this issue
Subscribe FREE to Laff A Day by clicking here.
|