Publication: Laff A Day
Keep your hands off my wife's feet. | |
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LAFF A DAY - Thursday, May 29, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
I was just sitting around at the office paying my bills when
I came across a charge my wife made at the day spa for $200!
200 bucks! And what do they do? A pedicure, a massage and a
facial? A) Do you really want some stranger goofing around
with your feet and trimming your toenails for you? B) A good
back rub is almost guaranteed to get my wife in the mood,
which means she gets one from me at leat two, maybe three
times a month. Is some one hundred pound Chinese chick going
to do a better job than her own husband? C) And as far as a
facial goes, everybody knows that semen is the best thing
for a woman's complexion.
Problem-solving-ly,
TZ
There were two old men sitting on a park bench talking.
One old man asked the other, "How is your wife?"
Second old man replied, "I think she may be Dead!"
First old man, "What do you mean you think she is DEAD?"
Second old man, "Well.... the sex is the same but the
dishes are starting to pile up."
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Three men met at a party, and it wasn't long until the con-
versation got around to their line of work and what kind of
cars they drove.
"I'm a veterinarian," said the first fellow, "so, naturally,
I drive a white Vette."
As they smiled and nodded, the second man said, "I own a
sign company, so I drive a purple Neon."
Now the third guy was suddenly quiet until he was egged on
by the other two. "Well", he finally said, "I'm a proctolo-
gist...and I have a brown Probe."
"I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page
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Thomas and Tamara were attending a dinner party so that
Thomas's mother could meet Tamara for the first time.
Towards the end of the evening, Tamara approached Thomas
and asked if there was a problem, as Thomas's mother
seemed to be avoiding her after their first introduction.
"Honestly, my dear," Thomas said, "Mother finds you to be,
how should I put it, a bit on the crude side."
"Crude? Doesn't she know that I come from one of the most
respected families in Boston, that I was educated in
Switzerland, that I attended the finest finishing schools
on the East Coast and that I obtained a master's degree at
Vassar, graduating Magna Cum Laud?"
Tamara asked. "Yes, yes, my love, I told her all that."
Thomas replied. "Then where in the fuck does that cunt come
off with all that crude bullshit?"
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum. Check it out here... Laffaday Forum
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
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More FUN and AMUSEMENT sent by email: www.gophercentral.com
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END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
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