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BIZARRE NEWS - Wednesday, July 2, 2008
"Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."
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Greetings fellow Bizarros:
A faithful reader named Micki Lyn sent in this story courtesy
of our horny neighbors to the north.
It seems a 63-year-old driving school owner is accused of
using his position to recruit young women for his other
business interests...that being erotic massage.
In addition to the Alberta Defensive Driving School, Edmonton
police say Vishva Juneja owns Hustlers Men's Massage and Just
for Men - downtown massage parlors that were alleged fronts
for "prostitution-like activities."
Juneja has been charged after police say he asked women he
was teaching to drive if they'd be willing to work in his
parlors.
His business licenses for the parlors and his school, as well
as his driving instructor's license, have all been revoked
following an undercover police investigation.
The two-storey strip that housed Hustlers also had a restau-
rant, a Laundromat and a grocery with a meat counter on the
first floor. People were made aware of the meat counter on
the second floor by a purple stiletto on a sign in an upstairs
window.
Juneja was charged earlier this month with two counts of
keeping a common bawdy house. I'm not sure what a "bawdy house"
is, but if anything I would say it was uncommon!
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out here...
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+------------------- Bizarre Holidays --------------------+
JULY
July 1 is Creative Ice Cream Flavor Day and Build A
Scarecrow Day
July 2 is Visitation Of The Virgin Mary Day
July 3 is Stay Out Of The Sun Day and Compliment Your
Mirror Day
July 4 is National Country Music Day and Tom Sawyer Fence-
Painting Day
July 5 is Workaholics Day
July 6 is National Fried Chicken Day
July 7 is National Strawberry Sundae Day
For the rest of the list, go to: Bizarre News.com
p.s. The Bizarre Holidays for the month of July are now on
BizarreNews.com so don't forget to check it out!
***
------------- Drunk man tried to row home ---------------
HELSINGOR, Denmark - Danish authorities said a drunken
elderly man stole a row boat and attempted to row more
than two miles home to Sweden. Authorities said the
78-year-old man stole the row boat after discovering
he had left all of his money in a bar and had no funds
left for ferry passage from Helsingor, Denmark, to
Helsingborg, Sweden, Swedish news agency TT reported
Monday. Danish coast guard officials said they found
the man passed out inside the row boat after they received
reports of what appeared to be an abandoned dinghy adrift
in the strait, which serves as a popular shipping lane.
Coast guard officials said the man was given passage on
the next ferry back to Sweden after he sobered up.
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-------- Man tries to pay bond with filthy pennies ---------
CENTER JUNCTION, Iowa - An Iowa man arrested for driving
with a bad tire was jailed after trying to use soiled
pennies and rumpled dollar bills to pay a bond, court
documents indicate. James R. Ward, 60, of Center Junction,
Iowa, was ordered Thursday to spend a week in Scott County
Jail after he was arrested May 12, for operating a tractor
trailer on the highway with a faulty tire, court records
say. Ward was ordered to pay $68.20 in fines and court
fees, the Quad-City Times in Davenport, Iowa, reported.
When Ward said he planned to take his case to a jury trial,
Associate Court Judge Christine Dalton decided he needed
to post a $100 bond, the newspaper said. Officials said
Ward brought a box of dirty pennies and wrinkled dollar
bills to the clerk's office Thursday in an effort to
satisfy the bond. The office only takes up to $3 in pennies
for all payments, the report said.
---------- Lost ring returned after 54 years ------------
LUDINGTON, Mich. - A Michigan native says a man recently
contacted her to say he had found a class ring she dropped
in Lake Michigan in 1954. Jan Zacharda, who had immediately
replaced the ring after losing it during a visit to
Ludington State Park, said she had forgotten about the
lost item until she received a call from Robert Savage,
the Ludington Daily News reported Monday. "I looked at
my husband and said, 'You have got to be kidding me,'"
Zacharda said. Savage said he found the ring 12 years ago
while using his metal detector at a beach on Oxbow Lake, a
body of water Zacharda said she has never visited. Zacharda
said she has no idea what may have happened to the ring to
carry it to the beach from distant Lake Michigan. Savage
said the ring was inscribed with the initials "JP" for Jan
Pedersen -- Zacharda's maiden name -- an "L" for Ludington
High School and the year of graduation, 1955. He said
Zacharda was the only one in her class yearbook with those
initials. Zacharda said the returned ring now resides on
her index finger, where it will be in less danger of
slipping off.
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--------- Golfers finish game after armed robbery ---------
MILWAUKEE - A group of persistent golfers said they were
shocked when an armed man robbed them on a prestigious
Milwaukee course, but they finished their game anyway.
The foursome and two caddies were on the 16th tee Saturday
at Brynwood Country Club when an armed man popped out of
the woods and said, "Give me your money," officials said.
The masked man stole items from one caddy and two golfers
before running off, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel reported.
Undeterred, the golfers carried on with their game and all
tee times went on as usual during the weekend, authorities
said. Club officials said they are glad no one was hurt in
the incident and they are working with police to find the
thief. "The incident was an unusual occurrence at our club.
Brynwood Country Club has a nearly 80-year history as one
of the most prestigious country clubs in the Midwest,"
club officials said in a letter to members.
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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
How in the world was that man traveling 45mph on a bycicle?
even on a hill?? I'm 19 now, but i specifically remember when
i was 12 i had an 18speed bike with a digital speedometer on
it from Walmart. Was the fastest bike among neighborhood kids.
Top speed, in wind: 31. -Ken
[You're right. If you couldn't do it on a Huffy from WalMart
when you were twelve-years-old, obviously it can't be done.
I retract the story as clearly implausible.]
Whoever sent you the story about Ernie Trent, the 101 year
old pilot, transposed the digits in the WWII B-52 part. Here
is the transcript of the story from the Pittsburgh paper:
"After all these years, Ernie Trent remains one of the high
and mighty. At age 101, the Somerset native, a former meat
cutter and TV repairman, has been flying aircraft since the
1930s and is still licensed. He trained B-25 pilots for
combat missions during World War II."
[There you go!]
Dear Lewis: You said: "I've heard that fat ladies sing during
sex. I don't know what fat ladies do during sex." Well, I can
tell you, I am a fat lady that absolutely sings during sex.
It's the only way! -MC
Lewis - the latest edition BN is not working on the Gopher
Archive. Would you please have someone fix it so I can read
it? Thanks, Jamie
[It is now. There was a small technical problem caused by an
assistant editor when he loaded the issue onto the archive
page. He has been severely reprimanded. You can see the
archives now by clicking the link at the bottom of the page.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
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