Publication: Classic Laffaday
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Classic Laff-a-Day - May 5, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
I was at my fourth grade daughter's softball game sitting
quietly off to the side, when I noticed that some of these
moms are screaming and yelling at their kids for very little
thing.
Man, oh, man! I wanted to go up to them and shout, "Shut the
fuck up, bitches!" But my wife said I have to stop doing that.
Unfortunately,
TZ
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A Mistake You're Going To Love....
CD PORTFOLIO (24 Capacity)
Normal Price: $7.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99
Carry your CDs with you wherever you go with this case that
can hold either CDs or CD ROMS and holds up to 24 CDs. The
stylish case not only protects your favorite CDs but it
looks great, too!.
This lightweight case features rugged nylon construction and
an efficient design that zips all around. Also includes easy
carrying handle.
Grab one or two while you can. This is a closeout item so once
they are gone, they are gone...
CD PORTFOLIO (24 Capacity)
I know it's late, but hey, whaddya expect?
Here are some tips to help make your prom night unforgettable:
The prom is a magical experience, a chance to do such grown-up
things as get all dressed up, drink nine Smirnoff Ices, vomit
in a limo, and pass out in Mom's azalea bushes.
The theme is one of the most important elements of a prom.
Choose carefully between "Tropical Paradise" and "Stepping Out
In Style."
Do not attempt to finger-bang your date until a slow song
comes on.
Don't forget the corsage! Fresh flowers are necessary to mask
the smell of sweat and foot odor in your school's dank, poorly
ventilated gym.
Try to plan ahead, so you are not more than two or three months
pregnant for your prom.
Next to a bridesmaid dress, a prom dress is the most important
dress you will ever wear.
If you were not asked to prom, you can still have fun by putting
on a dress, buying a taco-salad party platter from the local
Pic-N-Save, and dancing in your bedroom as a portable radio plays
the latest Top 40 hits.
This will be the biggest night of your life if you happen to die
in the next few weeks.
"When the Emperor Constantine turned Christian, he banned the
eating of sausages, which of course immediately created a whole
army of sausage bootleggers and may explain why Al Capone
always looked like a sausage."
---Donald E. Westlake
What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A feminist who won't do what she's told.
TURTLE KEY HIDER/HOLDER
This Turtle Has A Secret...
Normal Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99
What a great idea! That's what everyone says about this item.
Not just an appealing garden statue, this turtle cleverly
conceals a secret spot to hide your spare key. Tuck near a
door for a handy hide away. Good for a house or garage key.
Grab one or two while they last. This is an item we made a
special purchase on and it is Below Cost! Once it sells out
it is gone forever. Makes a great Housewarming Gift too.
Because of the low price, we must limit you to no more than
six (6) per order. Check it out by visiting:
Turtle Key Hider/Holder
An old Native Chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking
a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two Government officials sent to
interview him. "Chief Two Eagles" asked one Official, "you have
observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and
his technological advances. You've seen his progress and the
damage he's done."
The Chief nodded in agreement.
The Official continued, "Considering all these events, in your
opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The Chief stared at the Government officials for over a minute
and then calmly replied, "When white man found the land,
Natives were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo,
plenty beaver, women did all the work, Medicine Man free,
Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, and all night
having sex."
Then the Chief leaned back and smiled, "Only white man dumb
enough to think he could improve system like that."
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