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Classic Laff-a-Day - May 9, 2008
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
My daughters were visiting my brother's kids and my sister-in-
law took them all out to run her errands. Shortly after leaving
the house she got a call from my brother. My sister-in-law
quickly turned the van around, went back to the house, grabbed a
change of clothes for my brother and zipped over to his office.
When they all got to my brother's place the kids overheard the
secretary telling my sister-in-law that the guys at some bad
food, and two guys went home while my brother was locked in the
washroom. Turns out that he had an accident (read: shit in his
pants) and needed new clothes.
That was the story my 11 year old told me as soon as I walked in
the door. So I promptly called my brother and he answered with a
moan.
"What do you want?"
"Nothing" I said, "I simply have a bit of advice. I keep a spare
change of clothes in a duffle bag in my trunk and I suggest you
do the same. It comes in handy if it's rainng and you get
splashed with mud, or you're eating pasta and spill it all over,
or, say, you shit in your pants..."
At the end I was laughing so hard I could barely get the words
out. He laughed a little then had to run to the bathroom.
Ptomainely,
TZ
mailto:tz@laffaday.com
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A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a National Organization for
Women gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject
in which the doctor was most at ease.
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect
whether or not an individual is mentally challenged who appears
to be completely normal?"
"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question
which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates,
that puts you on the track."
"What sort of question?"
"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around
the world and died during one of them. Which one?'"
The woman thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You
wouldn't happen to have another example, would you? I must
confess I don't know much about history."
"Let thy maid servant be faithful, strong, and homely."
---Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
"His absence is good company."
---Scottish saying
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None, they are all too busy sucking my dick.
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Old but funny...
A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar,
an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly
manner. "Look," he said, "let's play a little game. I'll ask you
a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy YOU a drink. If you
can't, then you buy ME one. Okay?"
"Ja, dat sounds purty good," said the Norwegian.
The Indian said, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn't
my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"
The Norwegian scratched his head and finally said, "I give up.
Who vas it?"
"It was ME," chortled the Indian. So the Norwegian paid for the
drinks.
Back in Sioux Falls the Norwegian went into a bar and spotted
one of his cronies, "Sven," he said, "I got a game. If you can
answer a qvestion, I buy you a drink. If you can't, YOU have to
buy ME vun. Fair enough?"
"Fair enough," said Sven. Okay, my fadder and mudder had vun
child. It vasn't my brudder. It vasn't my sister. Who vas it?"
"Search me," said Sven. "I give up. Who vas it?"
"It vas some Indian up in Fargo, ND."
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