Publication: Classic Laffaday
There Are Exceptions | |
Subscribe FREE to Classic Laffaday by clicking here.
<<<<<<<<<<<<< From the Laff-a-Day Archives >>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Classic Laff-a-Day - April 21, 2008
Laffaday.com
------------------------------------------------------------
Subscribe & unsubscribe links are at the bottom of the page.
------------------------------------------------------------
Greetings Laff Lovers,
My extended family always gets together for a Memorial Day
picnic. It's usually held at my uncle's place because he's got
the space for all of us. I got there early to help setup and
people began arriving about an hour later. A bunch of the kids
graduating middle school, high school and college were the
center of attention as they shared their GPAs and plans for the
future.
"Wow," I overheard my cousin's wife whisper to him. "Your family
is so smart! I bet the average IQ is in the triple digits."
"Yeah, well that average is about to go down," he replied. "I
see TZ's kids running towards us."
Paste-eatingly,
TZ
mailto:tz@laffaday.com
Send me your comments and jokes:
Submit a Comment
*------> free Book For YOU <------*
Do you want to inject your work environment with passion and
soul? Are you a budding entrepreneur, seasoned executive or
simply trying to better yourself? If you answered YES to any
of these questions this book (Corporate Soul) is for *YOU*.
And the best part its --> free <-- to all subscribers
Author & CEO Jaffer Ali shares his experiences in building one
of the largest privately-held publishing and media companies on
the Internet. Don't miss your chance to get Corporate Soul for
free (you cover the s&h of $4.99 plus $1.99 for each additional)
Click below to get it free.
Corporate Soul
Every Friday afternoon, a mathematician goes down to the
bar, sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat,
which is empty, and asks a girl who isn't there if he can
buy her a drink.
The bartender, who is used to weird university types, always
shrugs but keeps quiet. But when Valentine's Day arrives,
and the mathematician makes a particularly heart-wrenching
plea into empty space, curiosity gets the better of the
bartender, and he says, "I apologize for my stupid questions,
but surely you know there is NEVER a woman sitting in
that last stool. Why do you persist in asking out empty
space?"
The mathematician replies, "Well, according to quantum
physics, empty space is never truly empty. Virtual particles
come into existence and vanish all the time. You never know
when the proper wave function will collapse and a girl might
suddenly appear there."
The bartender raises his eyebrows. "Really? Interesting. But
couldn't you just ask one of the girls who comes here every
Friday if you could buy HER a drink? Never know --she might
say yes."
The mathematician laughs. "Yeah, right -- how fucking likely
is THAT to happen?"
A feminist should open her mouth on only two occasions; the
second being when she thanks me for allowing her to suck my
dick.
Suzy Lee fell in love, she planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy about it all, she told her pappy so.
Pappy told her, "Suzie Gal, you'll have to find another.
I'd just as soon yo maw don't know, but Joe is yo half-brother."
So Suzie forgot about her Joe and planned to marry Will.
But after telling pappy this, he said "There's trouble still
you can't marry Will, my gal, and please don't tell yo mother,
cause Will and Joe and several mo I know is yo half-brother."
But mama knew and said, "Honey child, do what makes yo happy.
Marry Will or marry Joe, You ain't no kin to pappy!"
Set of 2 Magnifying Mirrors...
Retail Price: $29.99
Steal Price: $11.27
See what you've been missing! This handy magnifying mirror set
includes one 7 1/2 inch diameter mirror with 3X magnification
and a 6 inch mirror with 7X the magnification.
Each mirror has a suction cup that can mount to the shower or
bathroom mirror. Great for shaving, putting on make-up or
tweezing!
FEATURES:
- One (1) 7 1/2 inch round mirror with 3X Magnification
- One (1) 6 inch round mirror with 7X Magnification
- Suction cup design.
- Attaches to any smooth surface.
To get more info, see a picture... visit:
Set of 2 Magnifying Mirrors...
This joke is so bad I just had to run it:
A little paper bag was feeling unwell, so he took himself off
to the doctors. "Doctor, I don't feel too good," said the
little paper bag.
"Hmm, you look OK to me," said the Doctor, "but I'll do a
blood test and see what that shows, come back and see me in a
couple of days."
The little paper bag felt no better when he got back for the
results.
"What's wrong with me?" asked the little paper bag. "I'm
afraid you are HIV positive!" said the doctor.
"No, I can't be I'm just a little paper bag!" said the little
paper bag.
"Have you been having unprotected sex?" asked the doctor.
"NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a little paper
bag!"
"Well have you been sharing needles with other intravenous
drug users?" asked the doctor.
"NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a little paper
bag!"
"Perhaps you've been abroad recently and required a jab or a
blood transfusion?" queried the doctor.
"NO, I don't have a passport - I'm just a little paper bag!"
"Well", said the doctor, "are you in a homosexual relationship?"
"NO! I told you I can't do things like that, I'm just little
paper bag!"
"Then there can be only one explanation." said the doctor.
"Your mother must have been a carrier."
************************************************************
To see past issues of Classic Laffaday visit our archive at:
Classic Laffaday Archives
************************************************************
*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
Laffaday Book
************************************************************
Want some FUN and AMUSEMENT in your email box F-R-E-E? Visit:
See More Award Winning Publications
____________________________________________________________
END OF CLASSIC LAFF-A-DAY:
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
Feel free to forward this, in its entirety, to others.
 E-Mail this issue
Subscribe FREE to Classic Laffaday by clicking here.
|